How to tell if someone ACTUALLY finds you attractive

Comments · 142

• EZ

  @Ezequiel1611 · 5 months ago

  Since I experienced limerence, I&apos;ve stopped interpreting signs. Besides, many people interpret them without considering how these people behave with others. One obvious sign is if someone is shy with you but not with others, but beyond that, they could also be people just seeking validation, especially when you barely know them. <br><br>I don&apos;t think it&apos;s worth paying attention to that anymore; being direct is better, and the other option is to look for reciprocity in actions. <br><br>Mixed signals play with our brains, and by the time we realize it, we&apos;re already in limerence, trying to decipher why this person is cold one day and hot the next. And when someone seems to be playing shy, even if there&apos;s a very strong attraction, I don&apos;t think it&apos;s worth putting in so much effort &nbsp;....Because it seems that all the responsibility is placed on one person and the other is not willing to do much...<br>These are missed opportunities, but it&apos;s because of the other person&apos;s personality. It&apos;s happened to me before, trying to create moments, but if the other person may not be able to face their fears or they cant maintain a normal conversation....<br><br> I choose to take mix signs as no. Because I know how my mind works when I see these; fantasy and projection begin. Even if this person never dazzles me from the start, when my mind sees the signs it wants to decipher them and gets hooked even more than before.

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• VE

  @veebliss1266 · 5 months ago

  I hate unrequited love

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• AR

  @arcadianmorning · 4 months ago

  This is the best video I&apos;ve seen on this topic. Thank you for being so reasonable. I can tell this is the &quot;real world&quot; answer, grounded and realistic. Super helpful vs. other videos that just tell you what you want to hear.

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• BY

  @byhisgracegoi25 · 5 months ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66FRACBugyE&amp;t=298">4:58</a> im one of those people....flirting is building rapport...i actually struggle to flirt with a person im genuinely interested in 😂

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• XI

  @xiangruyuan692 · 4 months ago

  They don’t like me

  17

• TJ

  @TJ15368 · 5 months ago (edited)

  Been down this road many times.<br><br>It’s never gone well to ruminate over where you stand with someone, to wonder if they like you too, being constantly on the look out for signs or trying to force situations in a subtle way (usually after awhile, the other person will know that you have other motives or they will get the feeling that something is off about you and be turned off) to test if they like you or not without just asking.<br><br>It never works out and it causes nothing but stress, anxiety and in some cases, can make you come across as needy, desperate or crazy to the other person.<br><br>Just be straight forward and ask or take the time to look at the information you have and decide for yourself and ask them out or walk away.

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• GE

  @gemmadidit4118 · 4 months ago

  If you&apos;re above average in attractiveness the problem is that everything you do is perceived as an invitation. If I smile. if I&apos;m friendly. if I&apos;m open to conversation I very often find myself cornered by someone who feels invited. I don&apos;t warm up to attraction immediately the way some people do. It takes me a minute. So if you&apos;re in doubt just be friendly and don&apos;t assume 🙃.

  13

• LI

  @Linda-BTJ · 5 months ago

  That last one surprised me -- that by asking directly, it can also help you quickly identify who is just playing a manipulative game. &nbsp;That idea is enough to help push through the anxiety of looking bad if you are rejected. &nbsp;Maybe you are not imagining that they are flirting, maybe they really are -- but why waste time in the ambiguous prolonged state of limerence with someone who is a bad apple. &nbsp;I never would have thought that this direct approach would help weed out those kinds of people.

  21

• WH

  @Whathappensnowkyle · 5 months ago

  Also, having also experienced limerence myself, I get that as well. I am glad that my limerent object did clarify the feelings and that helped me to understand nothing was going to happen.

  13

• JU

  @juboo4451 · 5 months ago

  I play with my hair whenever I&apos;m little nervous amongst people. I don&apos;t necessarily need to find them attractive. I&apos;m just a little insecure in general.

  38

• MA

  @maviandrei44 · 1 month ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66FRACBugyE&amp;t=224">3:44</a> that me. If I like a guy I avoid him. I can talk,joke, look at somebody else easily but not a guy that I like.

  1

• DE

  @dennisdante2336 · 3 months ago

  Dr. Tom, your content is freaking gold. I&apos;m dealing with that right now. Although your content came late.... still gold advise 😊

  1