How long does limerence last?

Comments · 130

• AR

  @Ari-m7h · 1 year ago

  Now I understand why it’s hard to stop obsession over a person who has antisocialpersonality and narcissistic tendencies. He always kept it uncertainty and made me false hopes (hot and cold). I know he has many red flags and he is not a dream partner just because it feels like it for me. Thank you.

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• AK

  @akula9713 · 9 months ago

  When she enjoyed the attention, actively encouraging it, flirting, but that was all it was. Then you realise you’re wasting time and energy on a mirage, a fantasy. You cut off all contact, ensure you avoid them, but they keep popping into my head at odd times, having a shower, doing housework, etc. I just wish they’d get out of my head!

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• KE

  @kellyscourfield77 · 1 year ago

  I love your videos on limerence. They are appreciated. My current limerence has so far lasted 9 months and is ongoing but I actually think it’s helping me cope with a difficult time in my life. It fades and comes back but it never goes completely not yet anyway.

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• GA

  @gabrielakarl3859 · 1 year ago (edited)

  My limerent object died two years ago and my limerence  lasted for 2 years and just now after watching your videos I feel like I truly get it.  I feel like I've been in a trance all this time.  I was here without being here.  An absolutely awful feeling, driven by shared feelings but lack of closure and a state of limbo and intermittent reinforcement.

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• MA

  @marielfernandez4471 · 1 year ago

  Once reality of life sets in it tends to fade away …

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• AS

  @asgr3970 · 8 months ago

  Ok the comment that limerence is a threat for an otherwise happy life just made so much sense.

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• SI

  @siktunez8910 · 11 months ago

  im still in the limbo state but slowly getting better by realizing its not the actual person that i am obsessed with, but moreso how i felt because of how they person made me feel about myself. and realizing that i cant let my mood or how i think about myself change based on how that person is treating me

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• PA

  @patodonald7174 · 1 year ago

  I first heard about this term while searching to find the cause of my obsession with a fictional character. It's going to 2 years now, I have photos of him all over my room, action figures, everything. I am a 29 year old female with no problems with dating, but my dates always fail because I never fall in love or get interested in real people. I just want this character. I even miss daydreaming with him when I'm out at parties, doing other things, I just want to go home and be "with" him

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• BR

  @bru1s3d3g0 · 1 year ago

  I never talked about this with anyone and I understand now that, when I think I&apos;m going to finally open up to my bestfriend about how I suffer from &quot;being in love&quot; with someone I don&apos;t know almost nothing about, I say something that makes her think I&apos;m kinda joking about the crushes I had in life. But it&apos;s not a crush, and I don&apos;t know how is this possible. It&apos;s been 5 years now, and I don&apos;t see my LO for 2 years now. She was my teacher in college, she teached dance. I only had 1 or 2 classes per week with her, for 3/4 months, but since day one that I was mesmerized. All I ever wanted was for her to notice me and when she did, I always acted in a blasé way when in fact I was terrified that she was noticing me. So I was just stuck in this vicious cycle and everyday I would woke up in the hope to catch her walking down a hallway or something, my heart would almost jump out of my chest at the slight possibility to catch a glimpse of her, so you can imagine what felt like really watching her, I would feel sick to my stomach. And yet it was the only fuel I ever needed to live. That&apos;s how I never got the guts to tell anyone about this, because I feel like a diseased woman. So, now, 2 years of not knowing anything about her, of not seeing her, here I am, still thinking about her everyday, fantasizing about that day when she paired with me in a body movement/dance exercise in a class. Afterwards we finished the exercise, almost everybody was like &quot;wow it was beautiful&quot;, and those are the little things that pull me deeper into this obsession over the thought of her, over what she made me feel even though she may not be aware of. I was in my 20s and she was in her 50s, another thing that&apos;s so common in me, being in this state of adoration for someone in a weird power dynamic and much older than me, most of the time teachers, and I was, myself, studying to become one (which I am now). (P.S. I live with OCD and, surely, that plays a big role in these feelings and emotions and states of mind)<br>Thank you for the way you talk about this topic and make me feel less alone.

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• JO

  @jonnygreen2602 · 1 year ago

  Hi Tom, thanks for all you&apos;re doing. I&apos;ve been experiencing this on-and-off for 32 years and have only just discovered the term limerence and started doing something about it to address the root causes. Luckily, my episodes, while intense, last only a few weeks. It&apos;s helping a great deal to listen to these doses of reality.

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• XA

  @Xaremathraas · 4 weeks ago

  I was pursuing a girl for 2mo, and it ended in dramatic fashion. <br>Been a full month now...I have mostly moved on, but she still occupies at least 25% of my mental space. <br>I think another month ill surely be over it. <br>My regards to all the ppl struggling! Stay strong, find yourself without that person.

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• XX

  @xXhunnybunniiiXx · 1 year ago

  Cannot WAIT for your new book. Your previous one and your website, plus Dorothy Tennov’s saved me when I was at my worst with my limerent experience. That was in 2022, I’m still struggling with it but it’s faded massively since then with time, patience, self exploration, and no contact.

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