50/50 Isn’t the Problem… This Is (Hard Truth About Dating)

Comments · 243

• SH

  @shydebhar · 3 months ago

  People who repeatedly tell you they are kind or generous are usually managing an image, not demonstrating a character.

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• TA

  @taste0ftruthtuesdays · 3 months ago

  “ I personally never believe things that people say that that’s just noise their making with their mouth. It means nothing. I only believe actions.” 🔥

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• PA

  @patriciaa4451 · 3 months ago

  Make it a habit to listen to your gut. If several years of observing someone has told you he’s not a good romantic partner, don’t do it.

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• KE

  @keptbygrace6221 · 3 months ago

  "If he changes nothing about himself, is he a person you want to build a life with" 🎯

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• RE

  @reginabaldwin7543 · 3 months ago

  A great relationship is one where the person is tripping over themselves to find ways to be generous with you. A cheapstakes with money is cheap with their time, attention, and love. It also reflects a huge entitlement issue.

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• LE

  @leza4453 · 3 months ago

  The point is, it SHOULD be fair to go <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKT87292eJ0&amp;t=3050">50:50</a>, on finances, chores, parenting, supporting each other, etc. But the huge problem is that it just isn&apos;t fair in hetero couples.<br>The sheer risks of pregnancy and a society that build itself around expecting and enforcing gender roles, makes sacrifices so uneven, that a woman without a generous partner is cooked. Because she cannot simply walk away in the same condition as if she had stayed single, if they don&apos;t work out.

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• AI

  @air7285 · 3 months ago

  Thanks for the thoughtful video as always, Tanya! “He will only pay if you be intimate with him” is a good observation, and I think this mindset is pretty normalized in relationships.

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• AN

  @Andi_andI · 3 months ago (edited)

  I wouldn’t date a “male bestie” of 7 years to begin with tbh, unless we’re talking about childhood sweethearts who met as children.<br><br>7 years is a long time to realise you have feelings for someone and then act on it. Either he will be dragging his feet every other step of the way beyond that too, or his interest was never high to begin with, and you’re his 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th option after his 1st choice didn’t work out.<br><br>Men’s investment/interest usually starts out high and dwindles over time. So she was expecting a friend who was already low-effort, low-investment about their dynamic to step up as a high-investment partner. Never going to happen. When you start dating someone you need to accept who they are to begin with. He probably liked their 50/50 dynamic as “besties” and thought hey why don’t I just date my bestie, she never expects me to invest all the effort my dates do, she’s convenient and easygoing.<br><br>Now granted I am in a romantic relationship with a guy who was my bestie for 3 years before we officially got together. But we both knew we had feelings for each other within a few months of having met. We only took our time because both of us were processing deceased former partners, and had initially said we didn’t want a relationship with anyone. But from the beginning he treated me with respect and generosity and affection, even though there was nothing “in it” for him like getting laid or whatever, just the pleasure of my company.<br><br>I’ve had long-term crushes on long-term friends before; IME if you aren’t together by a certain point there’s a good reason for that, and they typically start to take you for granted over time. Better to build something new with upfront high expectations/standards on how you want to be treated in a relationship.

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• PE

  @percha099 · 3 months ago

  JUST IMAGINE GIVING HAVING A COMPLICATED PREGNANCY WITH A 50/50 MAN.Now imagine what would it be when he stop loving you as a mate

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• AN

  @animeaddict13 · 3 months ago

  I’ve often asked my parents their advice on a happy and long-lasting marriage (they’re going on 37 years). Their answer? “Marriage is not 50/50 ever. It has to be 100/100.”

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• ME

  @MechtildWittkowski · 3 months ago (edited)

  I agree with what you are saying about generosity! The idea of a 50/50 relationship sounds appealing. But it&apos;s not the reality. In parenting, especially, each person feels like they are giving 200 percent. I was a single mother so I gave 300 percent and had no-one to complain to.

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• JU

  @Julia-Lovingu · 3 months ago

  My “favorite” moment is when stingy people who think they are generous believe their tales how generously they were treated other people and how ungrateful everyone was

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