Quiet Disorganized Women Aren’t Broken — They Just Never Felt Safe | Adam Lane Smith

Comments · 152

• AL

  @alysal2568 · 1 year ago

  I am a quiet disorganized and it’s very true that I don’t have a clue what my needs are. I get so frustrated because it’s like missing something you’ve never had before. I’ve only ever taken care of everyone else, and I don’t know how to start taking care of me. These videos are a start and I feel some hope, so thank you.

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• ZE

  @zenmaiden1 · 1 year ago (edited)

  Yes the lonliness .. in a room full of people. It’s haunting.. I don’t trust anyone really, only myself.    Hyper vigilance, my middle name, always 10 steps ahead. So much disappointment.. and learn to expect nothing..calm detachment, learned surpression of needs. conditional love.

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• CR

  @cristy0716 · 1 year ago

  I’m too exhausted to be high achievement driven anymore. I do put 110% into my job, and put 110% into making sure people get their needs met through me, but it doesn’t sustain me anymore like it used to. I feel like all my drive for anything is gone. I also don’t know what I’m feeling at all. But I can tell you what everyone else around me needs just by looking at them.

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• IA

  @iamdannita · 1 year ago (edited)

  Yes, i feel safe when I am completely alone but my heart craves a deep genuine spiritual love.. Thank you for this video Adam 🙏🏼✨

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• AK

  @akshayar5306 · 1 year ago

  For the 1st time in 25 years I feel seen and heard, and finally being &nbsp;addressed as not broken. Now I realize why I have never been able to communicate while confrontation, even the basic questions seems like a threat, uttering the wrong words leads to punishment is what i learnt and i would do anything to avoid conflicts. <br>Its a game of trust actually makes me very anxious around people and also feel lonely when they withdraw. I have always been the ice princess😅 <br>To people i look totally fine while im breaking beneath invisibly.<br>I was happy to hear it can be changed. 😭❤

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• AM

  @amyjomoore9390 · 1 year ago

  Adam, THIS DESCRIPTION is ME 100%

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• TH

  @thecookiekatie · 1 year ago

  adam, im sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks because ive never felt seen or understood in such a meaningful capacity as i do right now. thank you! thank you for investing your effort, time and resources to this. <br>now that the cause of my lifetime of issues has been identified and given a name, how do i change it for the better instead of just attempting to accommodate for it? i don’t want to feel like this anymore. simply existing &nbsp;is exhausting to a level that most will never understand, but i want to feel safe and happy. i want more from life than just existing and i need some help to get there, please

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• EL

  @Els-ku9np · 1 year ago

  My system gets filled with stress along with feeling safer while experiencing a good conversation or afterwards. It is a struggle.

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• CR

  @CR7-u1e2j · 1 year ago

  LOVE, LOVE, LOVED this video!!!! Feel like I’m so seen. I freeze when emotional conversations happen about my needs.

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• RA

  @Rastaelmi-f4q · 11 months ago

  Adam please talk a bout what secure partner can do for them to feel safe

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• IR

  @IrenAmpir · 1 year ago

  OMG, that is so me! Sometimes I hide just to be myself - tired, broken and disorganised — just to have this burden of being good off. And I do want to be myself with other people and I am sometimes, but they still think I am amazing and organised. They just don’t get the depth of the abyss in me even when I try and show them. &nbsp;And I can be myself only sometimes, because I care for them more then I care for myself — I can manage my stress and hardships, I don’t want to burden others with them, but I can help others with their problems for they’re not as bad as mine and I’m so good at solving problems. <br>And you nailed it when you described the longing and fearing close relationships at the same time. I do wander why I want it so much. Why do I need them? Do I at all? I prayed and God showed me in a dream that the relationship I want is the friendship type, when my husband is my best friend that accepts me as I am and never abandon me even if we disagree. &nbsp;<br>Looking forward to the Q&amp;A ❤❤❤

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• WH

  @WhattheMidlife · 1 year ago

  I never knew I had this until my wonderful fiancé broke up with me 8 weeks ago. I feel like the most horrible person. He treated me like a queen and I just kept pulling away and not talking when he would say or show any emotion. Now, it’s hard to even get up in the morning. What’s the point? I’m 51 and have 2 failed marriages and now this engagement and he was the most secure safest person and it made me act more avoidant until he was crumbling emotionally trying to be intimate. I’ve never felt so bad about anything, I probably messed my kids up too. I just didn’t know until now

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