Psychologist on ADHD, Attachment Styles, and Relationships: Common Challenges & How to Overcome Them

Comments · 211

• AL

  @alexanderalexandrou · 7 months ago (edited)

  As a therapist, I found a breakthrough in the books written by Elaine Aron on highly sensitive people. People with ADHD are often both highly sensitive and high sensation seekers. Their range of optimal stimulation is really narrow and can fluctuate wildly. If you add attachment and trauma into the mix, you end up with a highly complex and unstable psychological landscape. But people can work through it and enjoy highly satisfying relationships and lives. I'm a living testament to that. I spent a big part of my life informed by trauma and not knowing I had ADHD. But loads of therapy and medication for ADHD slowly but steadily did the trick. Ironically, I'm in a relationship with a lovely woman, who was also traumatized in the past and had no clue she was neurodivergent. It took a lot of effort, but this relationship has become the warmest, most loving part of my life.

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• MU

  @MultiOrri · 1 year ago

  My ADHD ruined my relationship. I was too impulsive, made her think i didn't care about her, and couldn't regulate my emotions.  I wish i never had ADHD, it's a curse

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• NO

  @noedimas · 3 months ago

  I am sorry that those of you that struggle with this have to go through the symptoms of ADHD. I am currently and have been in a semi long relationship with someone that has ADHD and honestly speaking it gets tougher the longer I am here. I am and have been trying to learn more and how to cope and not take it personally but it&apos;s getting harder and harder to feel wanted, heard, special. I hate all of this because I know she doesn&apos;t mean any of it. <br><br>Wishing you all the best

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• 10

  @102wingnut · 7 months ago

  This was actually really helpful, to understand that ADHD doesn&apos;t mean they don&apos;t care about you just that they have a lot going on inside. &nbsp;Thanks 😊

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• KI

  @kirancapoor1994 · 9 months ago

  It’s a cycle of terrible stuff whether I’m alone or in a relationship. Diagnosed very recently, and it’s destroyed my marriage.

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• TE

  @texasgirlhowdy · 8 months ago

  My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend that has ADHD. I hate this and wished it never existed!! I&apos;ve been reading up on this disorder to help explain to her his actions. I wish he would have been more honest and open to her with what he was going through, but I know he was probably ashamed, embarrassed and exhausted from masking all day long. On the outside, it appeared he was this perfect human but I know inside he was hanging on by a thread. I wish him luck in the future and want nothing but the best for him. My heart goes out to him and anyone that has this awful disorder.

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• BU

  @bushidoflowmma · 6 months ago

  I have never heard my adult life explained so well

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• BR

  @brocanada6418 · 7 months ago

  As someone with ADHD and alot of Exs , i dont blame them for braking up with me . Being with me can be hard, i am disorganised and difficult to work with do to my lack of executive functioning .<br><br>I cried every time i had my heart broken. &nbsp;<br><br>But i just kept to my training and eating . I kept lifting weights and dieting and focusing on that .<br><br>I now am in a loving relationship, &nbsp;i have a person i love and a diet i stick to .<br><br>I still have a messy life, i still cry alot and i still fall behind. Not everything is perfect, &nbsp;but i sometimes make perfect things with other people and that often makes all the hardship worth it .

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• TI

  @tira2993 · 1 year ago

  I&apos;m late diagnosed ADHD at age 39. I had already been in therapy for decades and had some moderate improvements, but getting onto stimulant medication was shocking. I still can&apos;t believe how much it helps me with regulating my emotions! My normally racing thoughts slowed down enough that I could tease them apart and sit with and work out what was actually urgent or something from a past trigger. I have a lot of work to do still but it was so eye-opening to realise most other people truly were operating on an easier life setting than me.<br><br>I&apos;d love if you&apos;d do a video about PMDD as well as I was diagnosed with that in my early 30s and that one was also very eye opening. Not a lot of good treatment options for it unfortunately though.

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• CO

  @copperxpenny · 2 months ago

  I&apos;m DISABLED by my ADHD. It is so severe it affects everything in my day to day life and even feeding myself and general hygiene is a full effort task. &nbsp;I just wanted to say the way you articulated how our brains works and what is going on made me cry because it made me feel validated and seen. Thank you

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• IA

  @iasydk · 1 year ago

  At age 66 I have started to understand I clearly have ADHD; due to my wonderful adult kids who are both diagnosed with ADHD. This is so helpful and rings so very true Dr. Maika!

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• NS

  @NS-xt5wv · 1 year ago (edited)

  I’m neurodivergent myself but due to C-PTSD and I have very strong ADHD-like symptoms. But I went on a date with a man who has ADHD and it was unbearable, he kept talking and talking and talking to the point I got exhausted. He IS diagnosed, he is in therapy and takes medication situationally. I thought it was the first date nerves, but the story repeated itself irl and through texting, the worst part was him not engaging with my scarce responses (scarce due to the lack of space for them). It was so extreme to the point that I knew everything about him from the moment his grandparents met each other (I’m not kidding), and he didn’t know absolutely anything about me, not even where I am from… So to me it’s wasn’t just ADHD, it was extreme self-centeredness + ADHD = self-centeredness on steroids. I had to stop seeing him because it was in no way manageable or sustainable. And as a neurodivergent person myself, I take a full responsibility in self-regulation and I always do my best to correct myself to give another person the best experience possible with me. So maybe ADHD explains a lot of behaviors, it can’t excuse them.

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