Managing Boundaries with Narcissists Part 1

Comments · 554

• DA

  @DarrenFMagee · 4 years ago · pinned

  The videos I make are requested by you the viewer. Please feel free to suggest any mental health related topics you might like me to cover in the future.

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• PL

  @planetmchanic6299 · 4 years ago

  It's not about boundaries, it's about barricades. They talk to or at you, never with you.

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• SI

  @SineadAshley · 4 years ago

  I put boundaries in place. And it caused the narcissist to have a meltdown and told me they didn’t want me in their life as I wasn’t respecting them.. I think they were trying to manipulate me and expected me to cave. I instead saw it as my opportunity to leave. And it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself.

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• EE

  @eeyoresgirl55 · 4 years ago

  It’s extremely difficult to be safe in these relationships, the first thing they do is get control of your life and resources so you don’t have viable options.

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• MA

  @marymcclanahan1757 · 4 years ago

  I learned an acronym in my 12 Step Al-Anon program:  JADE. I don’t ever have to Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain (to a narcissist). It’s saved me a lot of pain and confusion, and I recommend it to my sponsees who have narcissists in their families.

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• SN

  @snuggleb100 · 4 years ago

  If your in a situation where you can&apos;t leave such as I am, the best advice I ever got from a Dr was stop CARING!!! Stop caring how he/she feels about you, whether or not they love you, appreciate your thoughts, how you view things, etc. When I stopped caring, it was the most impowering thing I EVER did for myself. Then, I started learning tactics on how to deal with their awful, childish behavior. One thing I did was when he started yelling at me, I put my finger up and said &quot;Stop yelling at me, talk to me&quot; and I said it repeatedly until he stopped talking completely. I stood up for myself and refused to back down. Most of the time, I don&apos;t ask him, bc I get the sulking &quot;I guess&quot; response, LOL!!! So now I just tell him in a nice way &quot;This trash is full, it needs to go out&quot;. Or I&apos;ll use flattery to get something such as &quot;your stronger than me, can you take this trash out its to heavy to pick up&quot;. Such a ridiculous way to live but for the most part these ideas work.<br><br> The other thing is walk away, its called &quot;gray rock&quot;. Meaning become silent as the grave and walk away. Stop engaging him. Darren is right, I quit explaining myself. These are my thoughts, take em or leave em! I don&apos;t care if you like it or not. His opinion of me no longer matters. I don&apos;t care how he feels about me, I just stopped caring, that was impowering!!!

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• BI

  @bicho.cosmico · 4 years ago

  I&apos;ve watched this video more than ten times, because it&apos;s so hard to realise that we have been waiting for validation in our entire life and we were consistently neglected and depreciated. It&apos;s so painfull to realise that you are sorounded by people that envy you and tret you like an object

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• GW

  @gwendolynwehage6336 · 4 years ago (edited)

  This is excellent!!!! Having been gaslit for the first 18 years of my life and to this very day, I have lost all desire to share anything with them. I am thankful God has given me confidence and pleasure in just knowing I enjoy the projects and work I do. I have no need for anyone to validate me when Christ lives in me and He validates my decisions as He guides me.

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• AL

  @alfredotebasco · 4 years ago

  I managed my boundaries with my parents by cutting them off completely. It was literally the only way. Luckily I didn&apos;t realise their narcissism until I had long moved out and became completely independent, so it was a simple matter of blocking and deleting them. Yes I second guess myself sometimes but nowhere near as often and the guilt of cutting them off is subsiding into indifference. In even coaching a sibling into raising boundaries and cutting them off now that she has seen the light and realised she&apos;s in a tar pit of dysfunction. I&apos;ve never felt as good as I do now thanks to removing my family from my life. Only those that recognise the narcissism and are willing to cut them off are welcome into my circle, I won&apos;t entertain agents and flying monkeys and enablers, only healthy people, and it is absolutely essential I do that so I may be free to be a good parent to my children.

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• JA

  @jacquelinefroehle3583 · 4 years ago

  Being around them is not worth the effort.

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• ST

  @starseed2271 · 4 years ago

  Here&apos;s a suggestion, stay 5,000 miles away from them!

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• CO

  @CO77938 · 4 years ago (edited)

  The most interesting aspect I have seen is, the covert narcissist in my life has stated that they cannot remember what awful behavior they did, but in the same breath, bring up things from many months, years, ago with pinpoint accuracy. I call it their convenient ailment.

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