you've been lied to about self esteem

Comments · 3.2K

• RO

  @Rod-1520 · 1 year ago

  “Social media is just a platform for other people to tell you what to want”<br><br>Sir, that’s exactly right.

  3.1K

• WH

  @WhoCaresAlisha · 1 year ago

  One time, I told a therapist about the severe bullying that I experienced as a young teen. <br>All she could say was, &quot;well, I think you&apos;re beautiful.&quot; As a shock to no one, that didn&apos;t help.

  2.3K

• RE

  @RehmanMalik-z4l · 2 days ago

  If you’re exhausted from constantly trying to keep your thoughts under control, Anwen Reid’s anxiety quiz may give you a different way to look at what’s going on.

  15

• IL

  @iluxa-4000 · 1 year ago

  I heard it before that you can&apos;t increase self-esteem and confidence, you can only regain it. Because our default setting is confidence, so we can only lose it when we have some sort of trauma. So I find it to work best to just think &quot;when did I become insecure about this?&quot; And try to solve the underlying problem

  2.8K

• XU

  @xuyennguyen7110 · 1 year ago

  I&apos;m so happy to see Alain&apos;s quote here: &quot;We no longer need to judge ourselves through the eyes of people who were too unwell to see us properly&quot;. I have kept on reminding myself about it.

  1.3K

• LO

  @LouisaWatt · 1 year ago

  I’m studying postgraduate psychology and working part time as a therapist. When it comes to “positive affirmations” I tell my clients their brain will automatically reject those as untrue. The first step is to identify the automatic negative cognitions, then start challenging their veracity and suggesting alternative truths. The alternative truths need to be more realistic and nuanced, accepting flaws and challenges but rejecting the idea that flaws justify punishment or an absence of love.

  431

• SW

  @swordseye · 1 year ago

  I farted rather loudly and then you started talking about &quot;a potent gas being released into the room&quot; and now I&apos;m basically crying. Great video though. It&apos;s everything I need to hear as I have an anxiety disorder

  1.2K

• JE

  @jestforyoooou · 11 months ago

  I’m pretty convinced that the “Self Esteem Movement” as described here is essentially a neoliberal cultural myth. I grew up in American public schools in the 80’s and 90’s. I never received a “participation trophy” or knew anyone who did. I never even heard of such a thing until it became an unquestioned straw man punching bag about 20 years ago. Growing up at the supposed height of this movement, I certainly never felt that any teachers, parents or adults that I knew had any particular regard for the self esteem of me or any other kids. In fact the general attitude passed down from adults that I remember was essentially the same as what is advised in this video and pretty much everywhere else that I’ve seen for my entire life: shut up and work harder. Embrace the grind, go towards to problem, do the hard thing, stop complaining, suck it up, walk it off, etc. etc. etc.

  14

• LC

  @lcatty67 · 1 year ago

  The &quot;low self-esteem&quot; problem existed way before social media. &nbsp;I noticed my self-esteem improves when I stop thinking about myself. &nbsp;The other thing that helps is just accepting myself like I would a child or an animal- no conditions. &nbsp;Yeah, im not the prettiest or the smartest, but that&apos;s fine. &nbsp;Let me work on improving what I can. &nbsp;What I can&apos;t, just accept it.

  594

• MA

  @martialmusic · 1 year ago (edited)

  Psychologist Carl Rogers had remarks on this earlier. He asserted that low self esteem was a function of the difference between who you thought you were and who you thought you should be.

  1K

• LE

  @levifoster2992 · 1 year ago

  I love affirmations, but only since I learned how to use them. In my experience, affirmations are useless in the context that influencers tell you to use them - &quot;Just lie to yourself until you believe it! Gaslighting but make it self care!&quot; Where they ARE extremely useful to me is when I already believe something intellectually, but my emotional state hasn&apos;t caught up or I&apos;m having a trauma response. <br>When I used to think I was ugly, &quot;I am beautiful&quot; was an absolute joke. <br>But when I&apos;m freaking the hell out because I think people are being judgmental towards me, &quot;How others see me is not my business&quot; and &quot;My worth is not determined by the thoughts of others&quot; are very grounding, because rationally I know that a stranger having a bad thought about me does not impact my life in any way, shape or form.<br>If I&apos;m having a panic attack, repeating to myself something like &quot;The emotions feel suffocating but they will pass, I&apos;m strong enough to handle this, I will be okay,&quot; while breathing through it, can really help create the distance between myself and my distress that I need to be able to actually look at it, make space for it, and process it *properly*.<br>Utilise affirmations, people - just not in the way social media wants you to. Shape them to yourself and the things you ACTUALLY believe, use them to ground yourself.

  59

• TO

  @Tomy_Yon · 1 year ago

  People: &quot;You should smile more.&quot;<br>Me: &quot;Turn me upside down.&quot;

  615