Restitution After Betrayal: What Your Partner Actually Needs From You

Comments · 150

• NO

  @Normalize-therapy · 3 months ago · pinned

  If anything in this hit a nerve, the work of figuring out what your partner actually needs from you isn&apos;t something you have to do alone. We work with betraying partners every week on the specific clinical work of betrayal recovery and what real repair takes. Sessions are via Zoom from wherever you are, and a free 20-minute consultation is the easiest first step. <a href="https://therapevo.com/help-for-the-betrayer/?utm_source=youtube">https://therapevo.com/help-for-the-betrayer/?utm_source=youtube</a>

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• AR

  @Arkenva · 2 months ago

  I heard a therapist say that lying <b>is</b> a betrayal

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• JO

  @josephmbimbi · 3 months ago (edited)

  That was an incredible video. Contrast it with some dudes on youtube with LARGE audience telling the betrayed partner (often a wife) to be the ones to &quot;give a roadmap&quot; to trust to the betraying partner, like it&apos;s on the betrayed partner to fix things, smh

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• BU

  @BuccaneerOrion · 3 months ago

  I tell my wife her apologies feel performative and I cant trust her until she can show me real effort.

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• TR

  @TreeGirlDesigns · 3 months ago

  I’ve scoured the internet for some help with recovery after cheating. Most people just tell you to walk away and stand your ground. Especially when you look into Christ related marriage solutions. This is the first informative piece of advice I’ve seen to help those of us with post traumatic cheating trauma. Thank you for sharing your valuable knowledge for those of us trying to repair our hearts and repair our relationships

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• BR

  @bryanstephens4800 · 1 month ago (edited)

  Cheating is a deliberate choice to wound the person you claim you love. And the cheater knows in their heart. If this was done to them they would be that hurt. Somebody being honest with themselves knows how wrong with they&apos;re doing is. Problem is they build an entire framework of justification. They lie to themselves. And then use that lie to justify horrible behavior. <br><br>Or they really don&apos;t care about the other person and they&apos;re just using them for something else.

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• MA

  @MaruzsSusan · 3 months ago

  I appreciate the clarity and blunt simplicity of what needs to happen for restitution. Have been waiting for this a long time. Thank you!

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• ME

  @melissap4711 · 3 months ago

  My husband calls this “holding it over his head”. I should put here that my husband has also expressed frustration with me that I cannot accept apologies. However I want to say that I don’t remember often receiving a real apology from him. All of these are examples of what he may say: “I’m sorry, but…”, “I said I was sorry, okay? Just drop it!”, or like you all described here “I’m sorry I’m such a screw up, I’m sorry I can’t do anything right.” &nbsp;Coming back to me though, if I hear what sounds like a true apology, I don’t want to just say “It’s okay!”, I don’t want to minimize what happened. And also because I look more to actions rather than words, If they are sorry, I will see that they move forward in the future without doing that behavior any longer. And at that point I will know that the apology was sincere. &nbsp;But in the meantime my husband is waiting to hear an “I forgive you” immediately after he apologized and just move on. So I feel almost emotionally stupid by saying this, but I simply don’t know what to say when my husband gives either a real apology or a non-apology apology. Hope this makes sense.

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• OH

  @oh2262 · 7 days ago (edited)

  This is so good. I’m an offending partner and I desperately want to have the rot cut out of me and to honor my spouse through true restoration and have her heal. This is hard and yet very encouraging. Unspeakably grateful for this video and excited to explore the other videos.

• GE

  @georgethompsonjr6082 · 3 months ago

  This was very helpful and put words to some of the ways that I’ve been falling short in helping my wife heal. Thank you for this and all of your other videos.

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• AN

  @andreaparsons5949 · 1 month ago (edited)

  The hard part is some people who have been betrayed over and over by the same person can honestly not tell whether them saying they are going to change is real or not and more often they don&apos;t believe it because they have been betrayed over and over and met with manipulation to minimise the extent of their behaviour until they get caught, 8 1/2 years was all a lie

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• TH

  @ThePanamanianMike · 2 months ago

  This is so hard to listen to. I feel so bad for what I&apos;ve done to my wife. I&apos;m trying so hard to save my marriage

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