Stuck In Betrayal Trauma Recovery? The Year-Two Wall Nobody Warns You About

Comments · 45

• NO

  @Normalize-therapy · 3 months ago · pinned

  If anything in this conversation landed where you live right now, you do not have to keep navigating the year-two wall on your own. Our therapists at Therapevo specialize in betrayal trauma recovery for partners. Sessions are via Zoom, so location is not a barrier. The easiest first step is a free 20-minute consultation to see if we are the right fit: <a href="https://therapevo.com/contact-us/?utm_source=youtube">https://therapevo.com/contact-us/?utm_source=youtube</a>

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• CU

  @curly_blonde_unicorn7832 · 3 months ago

  Great video. Its now been 7 months since discovery, then his disclosure. To hear my nervous system &nbsp;reactions could still be happening in year 2 is hard to hear😢 But at this stage we are still trying to work through it, and realise that it cant be rushed. I will definately save this video, to come back to in the future.<br><br>Also i would really like to stress just how much your videos have helped me over these 7 months. Learning about Betrayal Trauma &amp; nervous system reactions, from you has been life saving for me. The pain &amp; stress this has caused is just overwhelming at times. Thank you so much, you have made a difference, your care &amp; knowledge is greatly appreciated.

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• MA

  @mattimus1979 · 2 weeks ago

  I know other&apos;s have said that you so often only mention the betrayed wife or unfaithful husband.<br>That said, though I only heard &quot;betrayed wife,... or husban&quot; once in this video vs. saying just betrayed wife, I wanted to thank you on behalf of myself and all the numerous betrayed men out there. It can be so much more demoralizing when most of what we hear and see is solely focused on betrayed women and unfaithful or sex addicted men. <br>Thank you both for all that you do in this work. <br>God blees.

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• OL

  @OliveGreen0516 · 2 months ago

  Sounds like too much work. If they cheat, just leave them. Love shouldn&apos;t be this hard. Trust me, you will find a better love ❤

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• PY

  @pyrozman2912 · 2 months ago

  Thank you for your videos. &nbsp; We are at this point right now and I am beginning to realize I have not been an active participant in my wife&apos;s healing. I have done to work on myself to overcome the addiction and the Betrayal but have not been there to support her and sitting with her and her pain. I deal with her triggers with defensiveness and remain shameful when she continues to ask questions 2 years later. I am starting to realize that those are two things I have got to really work on in order to help her in her healing and the path forward.

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• SM

  @Smitty813 · 1 month ago

  I’m at month 5 since D Day. He saw his coworker that he fantasized about and compared me to for three years the other day. His automatic thought was “she does have a really nice smile”. I’m struggling with this. The continuation of acknowledgement of what seems like a forced attraction that he utilized so much that he can only see it through a heightened lens (he finds her personality annoying) feels counterproductive. He only saw her at a distance for a brief few minutes. Why isn’t the thought “I’m so dumb for risking my marriage for this woman”. That’s where my mind would go, but maybe the shame is too much for him?

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• DA

  @danielam2808 · 1 month ago

  I firmly believe its all a performance, and the minute I put my guard down he will do it again, different but again, and if caught will say “I didn’t know this would hurt you!” Honestly, I can’t trust him. Exhausted.

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• DA

  @davidlindasmith672 · 1 month ago

  This is literally my life today. I’ve been in 12-step for a year and a CSAT. He’s been in 12-step for over a year, CSAT, 2-week intensive. We’ve done FTD and poly. &nbsp;He insists I know the full truth yet he’s still full of shame, anger, gaslighting, deflecting. I’m still raging. Divorce seems inevitable as there is little attunement. We both have had multiple big T childhood traumas.

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• LU

  @lucillerodgers2170 · 5 days ago

  When the same conversation keeps happening. I need more emotional awareness and attunement and less emotional bracing or separation from you. I see the things that happened before still happening within you and it makes my alarms start going off.

• MM

  @mmorgan4359 · 2 weeks ago

  Keep these coming, they are helpful. Many vids are out there to help, but not as helpful &nbsp;&amp; thorough as y&apos;alls. Thank you.

• KA

  @Kay_Liz · 1 month ago (edited)

  This was a very good video, thank you so much. My husband and I have been in this 2-year wall for about a decade now since the first betrayal in our marriage, and it wasn&apos;t until I saw this that I had a way to communicate this stuckness to him.<br><br>Both of us have experienced childhood trauma. We are now learning that he is avoidant and I am anxiously attached and it&apos;s explaining so much about all of the pain we&apos;ve been through.<br><br>Following a new betrayal recently we&apos;re now both freshly committed to doing our individual work, so that we can come together and do couples therapy at a trauma level to hopefully get out of this once and for all. <br><br>But it&apos;s highlighting how much pain and trauma I still carry from the original betrayal, and how the only way out of all of this is going to be feeling our way together through what happened then, not just what&apos;s happening now. We need to start at ground zero.

• FL

  @FlyingRedCat · 1 month ago

  During a discussion one year post discovery, my husband got so frustrated he violently shoved me away, causing me to fall so hard on my back that it took over an hour for me to be able to get off the floor. That is when I realized that a year of him doing &apos;everything right&apos; was still not enough for my recovery.

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