THIS Is Why Avoidants Return After No Contact - Will Yours?

Comments · 488

• LA

  @ladyofspa · 1 year ago

  This should be named how to break your own heart.

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• SO

  @SomeTechGuy666 · 1 year ago

  Yeah, let's talk about needs.  The non avoidant partner has a need for a stable life and relationship.   Not be chasing an avoidant partner, tip toeing around their every trigger, wondering if they are going to leave again. It's unhealthy for people to be in relationships with avoidant people.  It's unhealthy for someone to have to learn all these rules and guidelines in order to have a "normal" relationship with someone.   Avoidant people need to take ownership of their issues and work on them.  That is the solution here, not 101 guidelines on how to live with an avoidant.

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• ES

  @estellesstories7467 · 1 year ago

  Speaking as a former dismissive avoidant who now has earned secure attachment: if a DA is not working on their relationship and attachment skills *of their own initiative*, they will persist in DA patterns and your needs will go unmet.<br><br>As a DA, I decided it was MY responsibility to do the healing work before even considering another relationship. Any partner worth having deserves the best version of me that I can offer, and that means not dismissing or devaluing the needs of the other. <br><br>DAs: it’s a scary journey to secure attachment. We have to perform what feel like wild feats of vulnerability to learn to trust safely. The result is worth it. Not having to look over our shoulders all the time, not expecting an attack, not having to plan an escape…that’s real freedom.

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• YO

  @yousifshafo5508 · 1 year ago

  The worst part is after learning about attachment styles you start to feel sorry for them and try to help them which will make it worse. <br>Healthy relationship is simple. <br>you like someone you show them that and if they like you back they will do the same.

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• FI

  @FinallyElaineCare · 1 year ago

  I felt that my DA only spoke about how “they” were affected by the break-up without acknowledging how they pushed me away. Focusing on my anger and speaking up for myself turned to “you hurt my feelings and it felt like an attack.” &nbsp;How does one talk to somekne and set boundaries when everything I say was an “attack” on their ego? &nbsp;Exhausting. I broke it off. I deeerve to be happy with an emotionally available person.

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• CR

  @craigbromiley7837 · 1 year ago

  An avoidant believes that there is someone out there that is so secure in themselves that they don&apos;t have to work on anything. I don&apos;t think they have it in themselves to really change. They are looking for the perfect partner. And will sacrifice a good partner.

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• JO

  @JosephPallares · 1 year ago

  Don’t mistake emotional unavailability for high-value

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• RA

  @RaZX6r6 · 1 year ago

  Then as soon as they get feelings back and people are stupid enough to take them back, then get ready for the exact same cycle. The fears come back and boom!!! Gone again. Not worth it. Save yourself.

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• AL

  @alleung42 · 1 year ago

  I think the big thing for me is learning how to engage with such a person without being thrown into anxiety, without losing myself. I think if I can master that, then whether they stay or go or give mixed signals it shouldn&apos;t really affect me and I&apos;ll keep living my life regardless of their own confused state.

  94

• SN

  @snakeeyes7973 · 1 year ago

  Avoidant ex probably isn&apos;t coming back for me. I lashed out on them with full intentions of getting blocked by them and they followed through with that. Haven&apos;t heard from them for months. I was initially devastated, although everything that transpired has brought me back to my self healing journey. I found out that I may have C-PTSD, which explains some of my overgiving to those that aren&apos;t actually available emotionally and then eventually lashing out at them when my needs/desires aren&apos;t reciprocated. I hope everyone finds their peace within. I love you all and please be safe 💙

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• JF

  @jflsdknf · 11 months ago

  who th has time for this kind of behavior. life is short

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• UM

  @ummjunayd1511 · 1 year ago

  Mine reached out to let me know I “once meant a lot to him”<br>And he “cared a lot about me” lol bro I’m so irritated. What does he even want me to do with that useless information.

  33