Why Everything Was Always Your Fault (The Psychology of Entitlement)

Comments · 243

• MC

  @mckohtz · 2 months ago

  This is explains the dynamics in my +20yr marriage. I keep saying that he doesn't listen to me. In reality, my voice, opinion, point of view is dismissed because it is unimportant to him, because his more important.

  191

• KA

  @katec9893 · 1 month ago

  This reminds me of how I was always trying to have family meetings to resolve issues, thinking we needed to improve our communication. Then I realised family members weren't interested in being honest, clear or taking responsibility for anything. It's crazy making until you see the behaviour and accept they won't change.

  55

• TH

  @TheQuietTypist · 2 weeks ago

  &quot;You&apos;ve absorbed something that was now yours to carry: the sense that the way you are is the reason things are difficult.&quot;<br><br>Wow. You&apos;ve just summed up my core childhood wound in a simple phrase. Thank you.

  16

• JO

  @johnmcmillan59 · 1 month ago

  Employers seems to think people with these characteristics make good managers and supervisors, ignoring the high turnover of staff.

  73

• WA

  @water5620 · 1 month ago (edited)

  Entitlement schema: the belief that one&apos;s own needs, feelings, and preferences carry more weight than those of other people, and that the normal rules of social reciprocity don&apos;t fully apply to them. <br><br>Entitlement schema, per Bancroft&apos;s decades of research, is at the center of controlling behavior. It is the root from which everything else flows.<br>The specific structure of that belief is this: their needs are the primary concern. Yours are secondary, manageable, relevant when convenient, and easy to set aside when not. Your role in the relationship is to understand and accommodate what they need, and when you fail to do that adequately, their response isn’t just understandable from their perspective. It&apos;s entirely justified.

  85

• LI

  @LindsayThompson-p8r · 1 month ago

  Holy hell thank you thank you: as you described this it finally clicked in my head. Talking to my mom yesterday on the phone after taking space from her for a bit, she said “I thought you were going to be less triggered by me, and you need to expose yourself to me to get used to it and less triggered.” And I remember thinking…something feels very off about this and I feel like blamed or something and now you said it, that’s exactly what it is, she’s technically saying that if I was less sensitive the relationship would work. THANK YOU 🙏

  105

• ST

  @stephanielavin7717 · 1 month ago

  Exactly my mother and my grandmother. The &quot;queens&quot; of the family. Controlling and manipulating through their entitlement. &nbsp;Unbelievable entitlement.

  49

• PE

  @perseph1 · 3 months ago

  As someone who endured the entitled manipulation and narcissistic abuse of men as a teenager, student, in business and within my marriage/family, I find this explanation to be spot on. Got a grad degree in rhetoric because I was always looking for a new or better way to explain myself, which I called &quot;communication&quot;, but was really about managing the relationship. For them, it was always about control and owning the means of my liberation, personally and/or professionally, which is why I had to let them all go.

  113

• HA

  @HamzaKhan-px1fp · 7 days ago

  I wasn’t planning to take Anwen Reid’s anxiety quiz, but after seeing it mentioned three times today, curiosity finally won. I don’t normally care about online quizzes, but people are being strangely specific about their results, which makes this one harder to ignore.

  24

• JO

  @jos4628 · 1 month ago

  This is the greatest explanation I’ve heard. Thank you. I was blamed for EVERYTHING! And second guessed myself. Thank you x

  27

• JE

  @jeanetti8254 · 3 months ago

  Thank you. I have spent years trying to do better and agonizing over new approaches to communicate my hurt. You have provided an information life boat!

  34

• MA

  @Mari.alaskachic · 1 month ago

  Every single video of yours that I have viewed is like a deep breath of air after almost suffocating. &nbsp;It gives me vocabulary to explain, and better articulate my experience. &nbsp;24+ years of confusion, pain, blame, &nbsp;and emptiness that I can finally say enough I don’t deserve this.

  11