How to Identify a Social Predator (The 4 Phases) - Dr Peter Salerno

Comments · 843

• BR

  @BradCarr_ · 3 weeks ago · pinned

  Dr. Peter Salerno discusses why you do not need a diagnosis to identify the patterns of a social predator, the four phases every predatory relationship moves through, and the critical difference between a defense mechanism and what he calls a preference mechanism. Time stamps below.<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs">00:00</a> In This Episode<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=32">00:32</a> Introducing Dr. Peter Salerno<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=44">00:44</a> Predatory Relationships: The Most Common Patterns<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=160">02:40</a> Why You Are Targeted by a Predator<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=299">04:59</a> Who Is Vulnerable to a Social Predator?<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=491">08:11</a> The Tactics of a Social Predator<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=607">10:07</a> The Psychological Structure of Predatory Behavior<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=809">13:29</a> Learn to Use Patterns Not Diagnoses<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=974">16:14</a> The Lingering Upset Effect<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1118">18:38</a> Gut Feelings and Predators<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1240">20:40</a> Questions to Ask Yourself In Relationships<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1347">22:27</a> Finding Useful Information on Personality Disorders<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1540">25:40</a> When to Stop Studying Predators<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1618">26:58</a> Group Therapy and Recovery<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=1727">28:47</a> Phase 1: Idealization (Trust)<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2179">36:19</a> How Idealization Ends<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2265">37:45</a> Phase 2: Devaluation (Control)<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2404">40:04</a> Intermittent Reinforcement and Gaslighting<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2538">42:18</a> Identifying Intentional Harm<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2809">46:49</a> Maintaining Control Over a Target<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2882">48:02</a> Why We Can&apos;t Recognize Devaluation<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=2962">49:22</a> Social Isolation and Immersion Tactics<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3100">51:40</a> How Devaluation Ends<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3150">52:30</a> Phase 3: Abandonment (Avoiding Accountability)<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3193">53:13</a> Shocking the Target<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3298">54:58</a> Publicly Replacing the Target<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3448">57:28</a> Tactics of the Abandonment Phase<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3520">58:40</a> Recycling Tactics of Idealization<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3701">1:01:41</a> How Abandonment Ends<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3738">1:02:18</a> How to Disengage<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3784">1:03:04</a> Phase 4: Post-Relationship Abuse<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3856">1:04:16</a> Tactics of Post-Relationship Abuse<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=3938">1:05:38</a> Smear Campaigns and Reputational Destruction<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4082">1:08:02</a> Preparation for Post-Relationship Abuse<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4237">1:10:37</a> Are Predators In Denial?<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4357">1:12:37</a> The Most Important Thing to Understand<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4423">1:13:43</a> Trance and False Intimacy<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4488">1:14:48</a> Callousness: The Most Important Trait<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4652">1:17:32</a> find Dr. Peter Salerno online<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4684">1:18:04</a> Upcoming Project with Dr. Debra Lieberman<br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NIPDxiiRrs&amp;t=4790">1:19:50</a> Further Recommendations

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• TE

  @TeresaY2A · 3 weeks ago

  &quot;Genuine intimacy is never that quick.&quot; 🎯

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• JM

  @JM-uy3ce · 3 weeks ago

  Narcissists are playing a cruel game with you, manipulating you, confusing you and making you sick and then playing the victim to everybody, including you. The best thing you can do is eliminate them from your life or if that is not possible, reduce time with them and know their tactics so they don’t screw up your brain and body. You can end up with complex PTSD so it’s no joke. It truly is an operating system that is identifiable.

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• WI

  @windypine69 · 3 weeks ago

  The nugget here is about confusion, how confusion is on purpose, and how its a red flag, a warning.

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• LO

  @lonewolf-25-02 · 3 weeks ago

  This clarifies so much, I remember in 2005 after my mother died of battling cancer I sat in the garden, broken, crying and my ex husband closed the patio door and went to bed. No empathy, no compassion, &nbsp;it actually irritated him when I showed any kind of emotion

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• FO

  @fokopushma · 3 weeks ago

  I have a severe aversion to being idealized and &apos;mirrored&apos; by adults. Having raised 4 kids, it reminds me of stages of natural childhood development and is off-putting in adults.

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• MY

  @mysatiricalspirit · 3 weeks ago

  Just giving credit where credit is due, I was literally saved by Brad Carr and Dr Peter Salerno&apos;s earlier video &quot;Narcissists Aren&apos;t Victims. They&apos;re Just Cruel. | Dr. Peter Salerno&quot; and my psychotherapist Nicole Helbig. Recognizing that the abuse I was subjected to was deliberate and intentional and therefore making the behavior tantamount to cruelty literally lift the fog that I was in for 6 years. I highly recommend anyone who is confused about who they are dealing with, especially in an intimate setting, seek professional mental help, not because we are mentally ill but we need someone outside to help anchor us to reality. I was isolated yet I did not know I was isolated. It seemed like I was with my friends yet my now ex-husband was constantly shadowing me wherever I went or whoever I was with.

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• KA

  @karmathephoenix2474 · 3 weeks ago

  I love it when Dr. Salerno says, &quot;So any intimacy that&apos;s true and genuine would by nature just like you would plant a seed you have to wait for it to produce fruit at a pace. There&apos;s a steady pace.&quot;

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• GR

  @GratefulChildofGod · 3 weeks ago

  I like that you replaced the phase “Discard” with Abandonment. So very accurate!

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• ON

  @onthewaynow55 · 3 weeks ago

  Forget about their back story...how they got that way...just take care of yourself. 😊❤

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• JO

  @jodiburnett6211 · 3 weeks ago

  “They vet everyone, to see who’ll stick around..” <br>You’ll know them by their charm, and they’ll become your new bestie. They’ll bring little gifts and notes to your door, “Howdy neighbor!” And then you’ll notice they’re asking a lot of questions, you’ll have everything in common, and suddenly they’re sleeping on your couch for a couple days….

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• LA

  @Laura-uq3xk · 3 weeks ago

  I have studied personality pathology for mor than 10 years now, but I never try to think of what diagnosis this person might have.<br>I use it to recognize the patterns these people have, the lovebombing, devaluation, gashlighting, manipulation etc.<br>It has helped me recognize these predatory individuals sooner than I used to. Which I needed, because I stayed in relationships with these types of individuals way too long. Not having the persective thay some of them were really just trying to exploit me, so I stayed to try and fix it.<br>I dont think it matters what type of personality disorder someone has, there &apos;s always overlap.<br>As soon as I recognize the pattern, I get out of the relationship!

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