Trauma Plus Shame Make it Hard to Recognize Mistreatment

Comments · 445

• WO

  @wordivore · 4 years ago

  I just want to point out, when someone continually asks you for something you've already said no to (eg., a guy who keeps on asking you out after you've already said no) that's coercion and a violation of your boundary. Your original "No" was a boundary.

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• PR

  @princessm8977 · 4 years ago

  I'm convinced that good men have always been good men. Crappy men like this tend to never change, even after 11 years.

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• H.

  @h.newton8982 · 4 years ago

  I don&apos;t think she fell in love with him. The best thing I ever learned in my romantic life, is just because you can&apos;t stop thinking about them, doesn&apos;t make it love. I remember I got cheated on years ago and it broke my heart and I confused the pain for that I must love the guy, so I went back to him.<br> Another guy I was with I had strong limerence for years and only learned that it wasn&apos;t &quot;the one that got away&quot; it was just limerence. He was exactly like the guy in this video - future faked me, breadcrumbed me, used me for his own ego trip.<br>In both circumstances, it was my low self esteem, low self worth, identity, image that was being damaged by these people. That&apos;s what hurts, it&apos;s not love. <br>Pain, is not love. <br>It took me so long and a lot of toxic experiences to work this out.

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• LU

  @lumpyspacecadet · 4 years ago

  Never date someone you don&apos;t really want to date. Some guys just wear you down by not giving up until you agree, but these guys usually lose interest after a while. They&apos;re not worth it. It&apos;s better to be pursued by someone you want to be with anyway.

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• KC

  @kcflygirl29 · 4 years ago

  Patty, you are an emotional “ high “ for this man. It has nothing to do with your character, looks, or station in life. He knows that you care for him, and that you will always build up his low self esteem. Ignore him; let him get his “ high” elsewhere.

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• CL

  @clancyk8497 · 4 years ago (edited)

  I&apos;ve decided after 57 years of living on this planet that if you have suffered from childhood trauma you&apos;re more emotionally needy than people who have had healthy childhoods.You tend to attract emotionally unavailable partners. Unless you really work on yourself as you go out in the world as an adult, you will so sadly attract what you&apos;ve been used to. &nbsp;It&apos;s imperative to LOVE and <br>APPRECIATE YOURSELF. DONT TAKE YOU OR WHAT YOU HAVE FOR GRANTED. <br> Some people who are not emotionally healthy, some people with disorders, there are a lot of very damaged people out there, will take you for granted and take what you don&apos;t cherish to the cleaners. Know what triggers you. Know how to cope with the pain of unresolved issues from your past. Don&apos;t think anyone else will fix you. Don&apos;t whatever you do wear your heart on your sleeve and expect kindness from everyone, or anyone who you really havent taken the time to get to know really well. We tend to rush in too quickly, starving of love and desperate for reassurance.It&apos;s important to have a faith.To rise above the madness and to realise what we and other people do matters and there are consequences to actions in this life time and in the next. Be careful out there. Look after yourselves!

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• ST

  @starboy2013 · 4 years ago (edited)

  I grew up with a guy who was like a brother to me.<br>He was the closest thing to what I thought a friend was.<br><br>He betrayed me at 11.<br>He betrayed me at 20<br>He betrayed me at 30<br>He was the same guy dieing of bowel cancer at 40.<br><br>I kept thinking if I gave him one more chance he would return to his better self.<br><br>It comes down to this.<br><br>If they work you over once.<br>They will do it again.<br><br>If you stick around it is on you.<br>They don&apos;t change.

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• PR

  @pranthalover9405 · 4 years ago

  It&apos;s a rule for me that I do not interact with anyone who knew me back when I was at my lowest and wasn&apos;t there for me 🥴✌️✨

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• AC

  @acfatemi · 4 years ago

  Patty, You gave this man, an ex-boyfriend, a chance to show You that he had matured and also that he was ready to be serious with You. Be proud of Yourself that You could be generous enough to give him another chance after a long time, 11 years! But when he quickly shows that he hasn’t developed in a good way, just follow the advice in the video….

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• MI

  @MichelleMy_Unwell · 4 years ago

  Girl, run. RUN!!! He&apos;s not a good guy. He&apos;s selfish and manipulative. He will spend his lifetime putting you down and calling you names.

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• ME

  @Merbella · 4 years ago

  I don&apos;t think the guy in the story has a sexual fetish where he liked the chase, I think he was an anxious avoidant. He love bombs, future fakes, pulls away, then discards. Classic signs!

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• JE

  @jenrich111 · 4 years ago

  The dsm6( the Diagnostic and statistical manual of psychiatry) is being released soon and it STILL does not recognize/acknowledge childhood trauma/cPTSD. &nbsp;I shake my fist. &nbsp;We know it&apos;s real and we are healing childhood chronic trauma within our own communities.

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