Why Avoidant Men Can’t Love You (Until This Happens)

Comments · 249

• IW

  @iwishyouknewpodcast · 1 year ago · pinned

  The How to Build a Secure Marriage course is now available to guide you back to that kind of love, the kind that lasts. Tap the link and get the offer now <a href="https://shorturl.at/89uGH">https://shorturl.at/89uGH</a>.<br><br>Use “podcast10” when check out to get 10% off!

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• BR

  @brittneyhemsley2020 · 9 months ago

  I was stuck in an avoidant cycle for two years. I wanted clarity, emotional conversations, and labels, and every time I reached for that, he pulled back. We would separate, reconnect, and repeat the same pattern over and over.<br><br>Eventually, I reached a point where I realized that having him in my life — without pressure — was better than constantly trying to define it. I stopped pushing for outcomes and focused on being present. I let go of fear and expectations, and surprisingly, that made me happier and more secure within myself.<br><br>As I became more grounded, he started to change. The fear disappeared on my end, and he began leaning in on his. He became consistent, stopped disappearing, initiated plans, and started opening up emotionally. He let me into his life in ways he never had before.<br><br>Afterward, I learned about avoidant attachment, and everything clicked. The love was always there — he just expressed it differently. By regulating myself first, the dynamic shifted, and the relationship began progressing in the way I had wanted all along.

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• AG

  @AgentM3tallion · 1 year ago

  It literally kills me, hearing myself laid bare like this. Therapy begins in 2 weeks! I&apos;ll keep you guys posted as to how it goes! As best I can anyway.

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• BR

  @Brawlstarsjesterchester · 1 year ago

  The avoidant man who loves you is worth the effort

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• 24

  @24_7Revelation · 5 months ago

  I&apos;ve known my husband for almost 29 years this year...8 kids, 7 years married, and last December and it will be 3 years separated on April 18th.<br>He&apos;s so isolated from everyone but our kids. We only talk about the kids and that&apos;s mainly just pick up times. Bringing up anything else he will shut down. &nbsp;<br>He has often said he&apos;s waiting for times like Fallout (He would thrive!)...I miss him, but I stopped chasing, &nbsp;and since December I&apos;ve remained calm and warm...I thank him specifically when he does something &quot;that&apos;s a real effort&quot; like keeping the kids extra days when I was stuck this winter. &nbsp;It was short and to the point and nothing that required getting anything in return. <br>I wish you were a neighbor, if you could scale that wall😱 wow, I&apos;d pay for the classes and I don&apos;t know what else!!!! <br>I&apos;ve given it to God, He&apos;s gotten us through everything else... I thank God for the marriages you&apos;ve been able to help save. ❤

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• AN

  @AnzeMofor · 9 months ago

  This explains my ex partner to the T. It breaks my heart to know that I could not understand all these and he is such an amazing human being. 😢. Myself and everyone of my friends and family love him so much. <br>I saw him try so hard and I made up my own ideas of what I thought it was. I’m not clingy and have a lot going on in my life with my a non profit organization I founded and work on. With him sometimes.<br><br>This makes so much sense. Smh. Thank you Adam. Whenever we work on something together he is so happy and hyper energized: he is such a gentleman, he protects me, supports me, loves on me and when I get into my feelings (things I can do on my own or with my girlfriends) He struggles with it but He is there, he listens, but I can see the uncomfortable patterns show up smh. He is such a great listener, we communicate so well and even when we bond intimately it is satisfying and divine. Arguably the only man I have ever felt safe with. &nbsp;Coming from a history of pain and abuse. I felt so hurt with his distance that I had to cut off after 2 warning. &nbsp;I have to get your coaching Adam. How do I do that.

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• DA

  @danieleseliuginaite6586 · 9 months ago

  I really triggered an avoidant man’s wounds… I feel like I’m done in his eyes and completely lost his trust…

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• GU

  @guitarsz · 9 months ago (edited)

  Adam you’re insane! And I mean that in a good way. The way you interpret the behaviors and underlying reasons for the way that people with trauma express themselves is so profound and at the same time when you explain it, it makes so much sense. It’s like an unlock to a combination and it’s such a gift to anyone who has &nbsp;the benefit of hearing your content or being in your presence as a client. Oh my GOSH so glad you’re here!!

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• RE

  @regi3756 · 1 day ago (edited)

  49 min in - I literally had this part of the conversation today! 😅 your advice has been so life-changing! I feel that this conflict actually made the repair deepen and clarify our friendship.

• JE

  @jehan9 · 7 months ago

  This is so true. The last 2 conflicts we had was “fixed with” just calming him and hugging. The last one - my emotions got the best of me and I pressured and pushed and I was heated in the conversation. Now we’re not talking. I miss him lol

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• NW

  @NWANYI · 9 months ago

  I did the opposite of this and now I’ve lost him. I just thought he didn’t really like me at all. He only wanted to work with me creative wise. I took it as a rejection. It just hurt too much

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• AL

  @alterralibra · 1 year ago (edited)

  Unless they are willing to drop the ego of knowing better than the rest, we can&apos;t accept the fact they are willing to love. Loving someone requires letting go of the ego. The worst thing is that they don&apos;t question at all their way of being. Those who do, can really be cured through secure attachment of their partner, because they are open to learning. Those who can&apos;t learn, are exactly those who never accept they have a fear of commitment or engagement. They just &quot;are not willing&quot;. Their way or high way.

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