How To Stop Ruminating On Past Relationships (And Finally Move On)

Comments · 862

• RY

  @ryanslings6234 · 3 years ago

  "Murder the what-ifs" is one I'm going to take and use for everything now. I absolutely love it.

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• RE

  @restythenurse · 2 years ago (edited)

  Step 1: Admit that the break-up hurts ( betrayal)<br><br>I&apos;ve been separated from this person for 3 years now. I played hundreds of stories in my head about why this relationship ended. But ultimately, it was about crossing a boundary. This person cheated on me, and I made him decide whom to choose, and he chose the other person. That decision SHATTERED my heart into pieces. I was deeply hurt. We had bargaining moments (we met up several times), but he still didn&apos;t want me. After a year, I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship again. He told me he was already in love with someone else. Got my heart broken again. <br><br>This is the real story. For the time in my life, I finally had the courage to share this. This is what happened, and it HURTS so bad. It made me scared to love again. <br><br>Writing this down gave me a sense of hope. I am finally learning to stop making up nonsense stories about my past. I&apos;m positive that this will be over soon and I can finally love again!

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• SA

  @Sariimura · 3 years ago

  Heidi, I cannot stress this enough: This is one of the best channels in YouTube and EVERYONE could benefit from watching your videos. Thank you for helping us through our struggles and pain, and reminding us there is hope.

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• FR

  @freshfalcon3996 · 1 year ago

  The worst is when you want to show up to have a vulnerable, honest good faith conversation, and they won&apos;t even talk to you. Yes, that in itself does tell you everything you need to know about their capacity to meet you halfway in a relationship, but it adds a new layer of grief--feeling erased/canceled, which makes the pain even deeper. because you never even get to express yourself.

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• LE

  @Lesane007 · 2 years ago

  Don&apos;t be afraid to start over again, because this time you &apos;re not starting from scratch.... &nbsp;You&apos;re starting from experience!

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• MA

  @maunaowakea777 · 1 year ago

  A video on how to deal with avoidant ghosting if you keep ruminating would be helpful. &nbsp;No communication makes it much harder to align with reality.

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• DI

  @discopotato675 · 3 years ago

  The narcissist/borderline really makes the aftermath so much more difficult somehow. Even knowing you&apos;re better off without them. That toxic trauma bond holds you hostage.

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• JE

  @jeremiahleasure4301 · 3 years ago

  Thanks Heidi. It’s been 8 years and I’m still really sad and depressed about my breakup. I think I’m messed up. I really did love her. At least I didn’t kill myself.

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• WY

  @wyattcoe8825 · 3 years ago (edited)

  “Nothing heals from a place of invulnerability.” Beautifully articulated ❤

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• JO

  @joselingarcia4580 · 2 years ago

  After I said “admit that it hurt” I started crying like a baby.

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• WI

  @wildflower1052 · 2 years ago

  Man. I went to therapy today and it was the biggest waste of time. Basically she told me I just needed to focus on myself and the future and what I can fix. True statements, but not what I needed to hear. I needed to hear THIS. Thank you for doing what you do.

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• VI

  @vincentblea4285 · 2 years ago

  I’m struggling with the fact I’m losing my best friend. Thank you for this

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