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Psychologist Discusses Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) versus Defiance in Children & Adults

6.4K views · Sep 13, 2026 · People & Blogs

Navigating Neurodiversity w/ Psychologist Dr Berry

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Comments · 23

@Juciwaters · 2 weeks ago
I love that there are parents who get curious about their child’s mental health developmental issues.  Instead of punishing them
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@UncensoredAction · 2 weeks ago
The brushing the teeth thing......... get a sponge holder from the dollar store and hang the toothbrushes and toothpaste in the shower. The visual que often trigger tooth brushing automatically. (might have to scrub the tub more but it's a fair trade-off) Another thing that I found...... my son HATED HATED having showers. It took me YEARS to figure out that he felt trapped, confined and had extreme anxiety about the shower curtain. He couldn't see through it and didn't know what was happening on the other side. He was scared someone would come in on him. So I bought a clear 'shower liner' (with no curtain) and he has never had a problem with the shower since. He can see now and he feels MUCH more comfortable...... he even spends hours in there sometimes 😭 (2 forward, 1 back)
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@TischTosh · 2 weeks ago
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCLLfpyMbSc&t=567">9:27</a> thanks for explaining that laughing at the hard times is okay 👍🏽. (Most) Humans need humor to survive challenges with resilience, humor brings hope and brings us together. IMHO of course 😊
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@UdidSoIcan · 13 days ago
Executive Functioning is a huge struggle for us. The schools are a huge problem for us. Life is mmmmmm
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@UdidSoIcan · 13 days ago
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCLLfpyMbSc&t=1142">19:02</a> Reward/Consequence System for a neurodivergent brains is so important do you understand and to know because of the intricate way that their brains work. Huge. Help!
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@CCalifornia92104 · 2 weeks ago
Thank you for sharing the differences. My 11 yo has told me for years he doesn't want to do things as soon as I remind him to and this makes so much sense! He also struggles with rejection sensitive dysphoria as well so he's all over the place. My little old soul trapped in a human body hasn't been the easiest transition for him this time around. ❤
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@UdidSoIcan · 13 days ago
My psychiatrist diagnosed me with transitions of Life disorder or something like that and black children, specifically boys, are quick to be diagnosed with ODD!!
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@TischTosh · 2 weeks ago
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCLLfpyMbSc&t=984">16:24</a> habit trackers and rewards for meeting goals meets this need for adults sometimes?
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@UdidSoIcan · 13 days ago
Is lying a problem with PDA?
@AF4US113 · 13 days ago (edited)
How do we know orders are seen as a threat? Self reporting or fmri scans?
@mtc-j9i · 2 weeks ago (edited)
While this is interesting, in practice, the two look identical. Any child who grows into an adult struggling with these two issues, will struggle in all their relationships as well as professionally. Also, these two labels in particular were not much of an issue in the 80s when we were kids… that leads me to believe that it is at least in part caused by space and opportunity.