Total compatibility is not a requirement for a long-lasting partnership | John & Julie Gottman

Comments · 84

• IL

  @iliketoknit · 1 month ago

  Lovely. I’ve read their books, highly recommend. They talk about this concept called “bids for connection” and give an example. Partner A says “what a lovely bird”. Partner B can either say “whoa, I love the color of its feathers” or they can say nothing. For Partner A, it probably wasn’t about the bird. They wanted a moment to connect and saw the cool bird as an opportunity. I’ve been trying to work on that a lot. Even if I don’t care about birds, I care that my partner cares about birds (I like birds that was just an example 😊).

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• RU

  @rustyshimstock8653 · 1 month ago

  Nice to hear the word Affection being used in one of these.  Many folks are talking about a crisis about people having less sex, or no friends...  The crisis is all about a decline in affection and related skills and abilities in giving and receiving affection.

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• EV

  @evanshaw17 · 1 month ago

  Prior doctoral psychology student Indian University many years ago and assisted Dr John Gottman in research for a semester. Since then as a child and adult  psychologist and a forensic psychologist who administered a five million dollar grant to develop multidisciplinary teams to responsibly evaluate and help sexually abused children. I’ve found his work immensely valuable and at 77 years old still practice. Thank you Dr Gottman!!!

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• UN

  @UNPRECEDENTEDPICTURES · 1 month ago

  Absolutely brilliant! I love all of the Gottman's resources. They are true pioneers of healthy relationships.

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• CE

  @celestegonzalez2257 · 3 weeks ago

  Thanks to this couple that gives out themselves through out their huge investigations in order to enhance love as a pathway to grow together by the side of each other.

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• AU

  @auro793 · 4 weeks ago

  Thank you so much for sharing this content, it's really enriching.

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• ST

  @StephenGrew · 8 days ago

  Beautiful people!

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• BI

  @bilyanatomova7677 · 4 weeks ago

  Love is not a choice. Being a good partner is.

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• LR

  @LRauth-n2r · 4 weeks ago

  Literally, what I have given as the biggest explanation on marriage or any committed relationship for over 30 years. True love and true joy are not about the temporal of emotions and storms of life...otherwise you are chasing a high..a temporary state based on circumstance..which is usary and codependent.

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• CI

  @cigxhang486 · 7 days ago

  the biggest takeaway for me, is to be in relationship and be in love even if I don't feel healed, I'm messy, and I don't feel like I love myself. Relationships might do a better job at teaching me how to heal and love myself than anything else.

• LY

  @lyaloka23 · 2 weeks ago

  Thank you

• RA

  @RapIndulgent · 11 days ago

  I’m craving and would love to hear John and Julie talk about one another. What they like and dislike and do it together and separately. I think there’s so much joy and delight in watching and observing a couple that really cares and loves for another. Especially John and Julie who have made a career out of understanding relationships, the fact they have businesses and projects together, and the years behind their relationship. It would be so fun!