reacting to my salty opinions about marriage now I'm a wife 💍

Comments · 319

• RO

  @rochelle2758 · 1 year ago

  To your point about monogamy, it has always galled me that here in the States I can have fifteen children and my work health insurance will cover them all, but it is out of the question for me to share it with even one aunt, or neighbor, or friend.

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• H0

  @h0l4bb · 1 year ago

  as someone planning on being single forever, ive noticed the world around me is built for couples. it affects us singles in big ways, like being not able to get a mortgage on just one salary for example. i think we could do a lot better for singles

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• KA

  @katienorman5962 · 1 year ago

  In North Carolina a couple must be legally separated, living in different domiciles, for one full yar, before they can file for divorce. So, although there is supposed to be and emergency clause for abuse situations, good luck with that. If one party cannot financially afford to move out, and has no support system... this is how abusive relationships continue. So if anyone ever asks "why did she stay?'" Well, because the state told her she had to.

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• SY

  @sycamorelavender174 · 1 year ago

  One group you miss in the people who can't get married is the disabled! We loose benefits when we make households :(

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• ER

  @ErinCrook · 1 year ago (edited)

  We got married sort of out of necessity: we were vaguely planning to maybe do it anyway some time (definitely knew we&apos;ll be together probably forever but both had always thought of marriage and weddings as something that happens to other people; I&apos;d never even been to one as a guest), but then the roaring twenties happened, and before that we&apos;d been in a long (looong) distance relationship for several years because we were citizens of different countries. Namely, Ukraine and Russia. So first we didn&apos;t see each other at all for a friggin year and a half because of covid travel restrictions (couldn&apos;t cross the border on land unless visiting a relative/spouse, and there were no flights), and then, as I escaped Russia &quot;for good&quot; without finishing my degree in a deteriorating state of mind via a rare connecting flight that allowed no luggage (so I moved countries with just a carry-on), we ran to get married so that at least THAT didn&apos;t happen again. This was in 2021 (timely).<br><br>Our wedding budget was, like, two cans of red bull. I had my regular black summer dress and sport sandals and a fetching face mask, no bouquet, just the two of us -- we didn&apos;t even have witnesses, and we went back to work after marrying. We were going to celebrate by having ice cream at our favourite tiny old cafe, but there was power outage in half the town that day. I have two phone pictures of us returning from the registration along the riverbank which is now flooded and literally a frontline. We had to evacuate a year later, and we could do that together &apos;cause we&apos;re married, yaaaay.<br><br>Have not been separated for a day since. I had my complicated little thoughts about traditions and social expectations and trends and feminism and they all flew out the window.

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• EM

  @emisformaker · 1 year ago

  Someone else has also said this, but it bears repeating: there is no marriage equality for disabled people in many places. Being disabled is a category of marginalization that every human being experiences while their alive. &nbsp;Just on the face of it, it&apos;s cruel and dehumanizing that many disabled people who want to get married are prevented from doing so for financial reasons, but even more so because anyone can become disabled at any time.

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• EM

  @Em-bug · 1 year ago

  Love this - it reminds me of something Khadija Mbowe always says at the end of their videos (highly recommend if you haven&apos;t seen em) - &quot;remember you can always change your mind, cause you can&quot;! <br><br>It feels like there&apos;s a constant need to always be so secure and firm in your beliefs, to be unshakeable somehow, which to me seems like a really good way to shut yourself off from learning and growing your own opinions and selfhood?? Idk anyway congrats on the nuptials cuties

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• ER

  @erinreadsalot · 1 year ago

  I&apos;m married, and the wildest thing that happened when I was getting married and also attending friend&apos;s weddings is how many people say to you &quot;oh it&apos;s going to be so hard&quot;, &quot;some days you are going to hate your spouse and regret everything&quot; and stuff like that. Like geez way to make you excited about getting married! And because I love and like and trust the person I married, it has not been hard and we have not hated each other

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• CH

  @Charlie-im9iv · 1 year ago

  I just married my wife 6 days ago! We&apos;re Queer in the US. We&apos;ve romantically involved and living together for several years. But the primary reason we signed the papers was to make sure no estranged family members go against our wishes for medical decisions or if there&apos;s an unexpected death. ...and we thought we&apos;d better do it while it&apos;s still legal :/

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• AP

  @Applepopess · 1 year ago

  I&apos;d like to bring up marriage for people with different passports (e.g. EU and not-at-all-EU). Marrying someone who could otherwise be shipped off at a moment&apos;s notice, through no fault of their own but because government institutions are flawed and make mistakes – that hits different than any notions about romance, believe me.

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• WE

  @Weekendsofwhimsy · 1 year ago

  I got married just over 5 years ago and from a legal perspective, the biggest thing that surprised me and wish I’d have known was the absolute palaver it is to change your name! I know it’s not for everyone but for me personally I wanted to (Main reason being I think it’s a cool surname). But seriously 5 years on and I’m still my maiden name on certain documents purely out of laziness 😂 <br><br>I honestly assumed that when you get married you tell the government and then, I dunno, your name just changes on everything. But no you literally have to change EVERYTHING individually- passport, nhs, mortgage, bank etc. <br><br>Saying it out loud you think “well obviously you have to do that” but it feels like patriarchy in action - if it was more the custom that the man changes his name in a hetero-presenting marriage I’m almost certain there’d be a governmental service to make it happen more efficiently. It’d be interesting to see if that ever changes while double-barrelling or portmanteauing becomes more popular in the uk!

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• EL

  @ellenacollinson4448 · 1 year ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkoU3DW5Chs&amp;t=1189">19:49</a> In the UK if you want to seperate from your partner within a year of your marriage it&apos;s an annulment as opposed to a divorce. The requirments for having an annulment are different to a divorce, but there are still ways to end the contract within the first year of marriage (woohoo) thank you for coming to my ted talk

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