5 Signs You're Chronically Outside Your Window Of Tolerance (And Need More Stability To Change)

Comments · 812

• NN

  @nnadia.g · 4 months ago

  I remember my therapist once said to me: 'To get out of your comfort zone you have to get in it first'.

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• IM

  @imgoinghome1111 · 2 months ago

  when you need more stability to change but you need to change to get more stability

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• TI

  @Timblisi · 2 months ago

  I was 42 years old when I stopped in the stairway of my apartment building because I had an odd feeling I&apos;d never had before. &nbsp;I thought at first I might be sick, or having an emotional meltdown, or some sort of episode. &nbsp;And I stood there puzzling over what this strange feeling was that I&apos;d never felt before. &nbsp;And after about 5 minutes, it came to me.<br><br>At the age of 42, I was finally experiencing for the first time what it felt like to feel safe in my home.

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• WA

  @wandaad · 4 months ago (edited)

  Imagine you shutdown because you get heavily critisized, and the one critisizing you is your own inner dialogue. So your chronicly in a freeze from your own imagination.

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• GE

  @georockstar09 · 4 months ago

  Reminds me of when I was a kid, and my dad spontaneously raged at me for some nothing that I did, and I would berate myself and tell myself, &quot;be quiet, and no facial expressions! Say nothing, show nothing!&quot; and I learned these skills of having a completely blank face that now will put people off, but at the time helped me keep some stability with my brain-damaged dad as he&apos;d monologue away. Now I will politely listen to other older dysfunctional individuals and they love the attention as they talk gibberish like my dad did for minutes and minutes on end, just monologuing, and I would feel accomplished at mastering this skill - until recently I finally realized, &quot;you know what? I hate this!&quot; And I finally kinda said no to something.

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• LU

  @Lucas-Stainsack · 4 months ago (edited)

  For those of us who grew up in abusive households, realizing that your body can feel safe and regulated can be a spiritual experience. I had my first truly &apos;regulated&apos; moment in therapy last month and it felt like a body high.<br><br>Thank you for shining a light on the &apos;deep freeze&apos; response that so often goes unnoticed, Heidi. Your work is deeply appreciated ❤

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• SA

  @Sanorace · 4 months ago

  Sometimes becoming more resourced looks like applying for disability or food stamps, reaching out to a neighbor for help or visiting a food bank. You may not think you need it, but if you&apos;re watching this video and you think it would take some stress off of your plate, then yes, you need it.

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• SN

  @snoozyq9576 · 3 months ago

  Every job I&apos;ve ever had is outside my window of tolerance. But I&apos;ve gotta pay the bills 😢

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• SA

  @Sarara-mv5sx · 4 months ago (edited)

  I think what I like about this video is that you address what we actually need in a context that makes these needs seem concrete. For those of us who grew up with neglect and abuse, there is that terminal sense of feeling that you have no idea what you need -- on the less toxic end of the spectrum it can lead to exploring all sorts of hobbies or career paths we have no real interest in with the intention of feeling better or becoming a &quot;better person&quot; -- essentially chasing our tail because we are so out of touch with what normal is or is supposed to feel like when in fact, as you describe here, we DO know when we feel okay and when we feel bad. Many of us just push through because that&apos;s what we&apos;ve always done.

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• SR

  @srijitakarmakar2765 · 4 months ago (edited)

  I lost my closest friend to suicide 10 months ago, 2 weeks after the break up of a 3 year long relationship that was so important to me, triggering conflicts with my roommates and to me moving out: losing my friend, my partner, my roommates, the home we built and the birds we got together all within the span of a couple months, and I have been so so tired all the time: even just cooking my meals and doing laundry had me feeling like I had the flu or something... this feels so validating to hear, thank you for all you do, Heidi!

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• SH

  @shted224 · 4 months ago

  Can&apos;t emphasise how much of a blessing this channel exists. No other channel explores these sort of nuances in such a practical way. Channels just like to describe what cptsd is and that&apos;s about as far as they go

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• AC

  @aciddiver1978 · 4 months ago

  Im constantly in flight / freeze mode. Always exhausted.

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