10 Years as an ADHD Psychiatrist. This Is What My Patients Regret Most

Comments · 114

• ZI

  @zia_kat · 2 weeks ago

  here i am, finally dxed adhd at 59 and dxed with autism at 49. all the symptoms were present af when i was a toddler but it was blamed on my high iq. bullied at school so obviously i didn't want to go and that sent me into counseling where i was dxed as depressed... but i always felt depression for me was situational and a perfectly healthy response to being thrown in trash cans by other kids. i mean, come on, wtf? who would be happy in that situation? in college bc i had no idea how to get through undergrad classes with 500 kids in a lecture hall lit by fluorescents, i'd sneak off to sit in on grad classes i wasn't enrolled in bc they were a) more interesting and b) smaller w 20 kids at most and held in rooms with natural light. i dropped out when my grades caught up with my ditching under grad. then i had a very stressful but also fun career designing for film and tv but it was all barely held together with hyper-vigilance, gaffer's tape and the terror of failure. every so often throughout these decades i would completely fall apart. it was so frightening that once i'd dragged myself out of those pits i would try to pretend they never happened. i couldn't even face that they happened. outwardly i presented as a super creative has her shit together person which was a character i created based on me, it was a me i wish i was, but it wasn't reality. it was the hirable me, the me other people found strange but charming, a fabrication that came with a high price to manage and keep playing. i think living in extreme fight or flight my entire adult life took its toll and i became chronically ill and unable to go on. realizing i was facing homelessness if i didn't recalibrate what the rest of my life would be, i chose to drop out, take my savings, buy a cheap fixer upper in the middle of nowhere and commit to living in poverty so i could get the healthcare i needed. that's when i got my asd dx, 5 yrs ago i began to wonder if there was something beyond asd that was happening with me. it took me 5 damn yrs and another total emotional and metal collapse but choosing to face it this time to get it together enough to make an appt for an eval. so now i'm just trying to put myself back together but authentically this time, with the help of meds and giving myself the accommodations and kindness i wish i'd received as that weirdo, clever kid. it's really painful to think how different my life would have been if this had come sooner.

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• TH

  @TheRawDose · 2 weeks ago

  <b>Key Points to Remember After You Watch The Video. (Thank Me Later):</b><br>1. Many adults wait too long to get checked for ADHD because they are afraid to admit how much time they have already lost (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=25">0:25</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=94">1:34</a>).<br><br>2. Doctors often treat the wrong problem, like anxiety or depression, when the actual cause of a patient&apos;s struggle is undiagnosed ADHD (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=94">1:34</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=313">5:13</a>).<br><br>3. Masking is when people hide their ADHD symptoms to fit in, but this can make it hard for doctors to believe you actually need help (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=313">5:13</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=484">8:04</a>).<br><br>4. People with ADHD often blame themselves for their struggles, thinking they are lazy instead of realizing their brain works differently (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=484">8:04</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=615">10:15</a>).<br><br>5. Trying to act normal all day takes a lot of energy, leaving many people feeling completely empty by the time they get home (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=615">10:15</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=727">12:07</a>).<br><br>6. When you have no energy left after a long day, it can make being a good partner or parent feel very hard (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=727">12:07</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=817">13:37</a>).<br><br>7. This exhaustion can lead to difficult patterns in relationships where a partner feels like they have to act like a parent to the person with ADHD (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=817">13:37</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=872">14:32</a>).<br><br>8. Remember that your past struggles were not your fault, and you were actually working hard to build ways to cope with your brain (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=578">9:38</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtTO43OaumI&amp;t=615">10:15</a>).<br><br>@thepsychdoctormd I made a full content pack from this episode, starting with short-form video clips, along with a newsletter, short summary, glossary, mind map, infographic, and ready-to-post versions for X, LinkedIn, and Facebook. Let me know if any of these would be useful for your audience, and I’d be happy to send them over.

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• MO

  @MohmadMohmd-l1w · 12 days ago

  I nearly closed Anwen Reid’s anxiety quiz halfway through because some of the questions didn’t seem relevant at all. I’m glad I finished it though, because the result explained what those questions were apparently measuring. Still not sure I agree with everything, but it was interesting.

  23

• KI

  @Kittykitten1022 · 2 weeks ago

  My ADHD and Bipolar have ruined my life. I have lost friends and jobs over it. &nbsp;It&apos;s an excruciating lonely life because you are always in your own head. No one seems to understand what we go through.

  24

• LE

  @lesliepalmer7407 · 10 days ago

  Diagnosed at 58 by the person I was seeing on the side because she couldn’t write prescriptions. One day, he just said “you might have ADHD, have you ever thought about that?” I said no, it never entered my mind. I knew I was dyslexic, not a great student and that my parents knew I was below average. He then tested me, and told me I was ADHD. I cried. I cried for the girl that had accepted the fact that I was dumb, for years of hearing “if you would just apply yourself”, it has taken me years to understand and accept me as me. And it is taking more time for others to accept me as me, they might not ever.

  1

• DO

  @Dokram · 2 weeks ago

  I am self-diagnosed. Unemployed and can’t afford insurance. Honestly, I don’t need a “real” diagnosis as after I went down the ADHD rabbit hole until I got to China, suddenly EVERYTHING MADE SENSE! <br><br>Learning that it actually runs in my family is what got me to start asking the question and every answer I got was like finding puzzle pieces I didn’t even know were missing. <br><br>Accepting my own self-diagnosis as fact has allowed me to recognize that I’ve already done so much of the work to address it already. The only difference now is that I no longer feel like I’m doing everything wrong, need to “fix” myself and blaming myself. &nbsp;Instead I now accept myself as-is and it’s made a world of difference.

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• TR

  @troopandfire · 9 days ago (edited)

  I was diagnosed with adhd at 52 years old. &nbsp;But the path was long and hard. &nbsp;I was told I was depressed and put on antidepressants. Did not work. &nbsp;Then told I had high anxiety. &nbsp;I lost my job as a female firefighter because of bullying mixed with anxiety that caused a diagnosis of ptsd. &nbsp;I could not filter the judgement I was getting due to adhd. &nbsp;Even the departmental psychologist bullied me saying that I was delusional in thinking I was being bullied. &nbsp;My psychologist who was a captain at a bigger fd recognized what was going on. &nbsp;He helped me so much. &nbsp;I was able to retire with excellent benefits. &nbsp;But I still did not have an adhd diagnosis. &nbsp;It took me 3 years after I finally told myself that I may have adhd to get it. &nbsp;But man after that, things are awesome. &nbsp; I understand who I am and why I was the way I was. &nbsp; &nbsp;Hyperfocused on everything and then gave myself grace to recover. &nbsp;Gave myself permission to say I am not feeling like going out in public because I did not have the energy to deal with all the &quot; noise&quot;. &nbsp;My NP started me on meds and it has been an even bigger change. &nbsp;The mental noise is quieter and the number of days that I needed to recover have lessened. &nbsp;Your channel has been a huge help in my journey. &nbsp;Thank you!

• BI

  @bionic0n3 · 10 days ago

  I appreciate that Sasha has a good cry before filming every video. Makes me feel not alone since I cry before doing something.

  4

• TH

  @Thyraveller · 13 days ago

  Anytime when living with other people, including my parents, I would get critiqued for being moody and looking sad and that being a problem for them. So I started isolating, now I live alone and it makes more sense so I can see it as me unmasking and being tireddd instead of a character flaw

  1

• RO

  @RobD-g7l · 10 days ago

  Dr Sasha, your energy and support of the ADHD community are very welcome, but please don&apos;t forget to look after no.1 :thanksdoc:

• 49

  @49ersfoldem · 9 days ago

  I was diagnosed with MDD back in 2017 two years later 2019 I stopped taking the medication with my doctor fast foward 2024 diagnose with ADHD life changer.

• LI

  @lilgem250 · 12 days ago

  I was just diagnosed a few months ago but suspected I was ADHD for years. &nbsp;Not only did I feel like a whole boulder was lifted off my shoulders but I felt validated and that I finally understood how my brain works. &nbsp;And I have finally embraced working with my brain instead of against it. &nbsp;The reason I sought a diagnosis was because I masked so well, until I didn&apos;t anymore, and things fell apart at work. &nbsp;I couldn&apos;t keep up anymore and started spiraling. &nbsp;Getting my diagnosis helped me find ways to cope, ways to calm my brain, and helped me to adopt ways to work with my brain to get things done instead of against it. &nbsp;My diagnosis helped me overcome my challenges and my only regret was not being diagnosed sooner. &nbsp;But I feel more relieved now. &nbsp;I jist would have been relieved sooner. And also, all the struggles I had as a kid finally made sense and I was able to forgive myself. &nbsp;And now I try to use that understanding to help my ADHD child so she doesn&apos;t have to suffer like I did.