Estranged Adult Child? When Autism Was Missed in Childhood

Comments · 130

• DR

  @drsamtherapy · 2 weeks ago (edited) · pinned

  💬 I’d love to hear from you: Has a late autism diagnosis changed how you understand your childhood or your relationship with your family?<br><br>p.s. sorry about the fly I try to wave off early on😅

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• SI

  @sixtysense · 2 weeks ago

  Definitely the length of time it took me to recover emotionally after a telephone call or contact played a huge part in me becoming estranged.

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• RE

  @renatemocza7195 · 2 weeks ago

  I think there is no &quot;too sesitive&quot;, but an unempathic, even emotionally cruel environment provided by the &quot;normies&quot; and this is not only valid with autism.

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• FA

  @FallerinasWelt · 2 weeks ago (edited)

  Being constantly misunderstood and not believed if I spoke the truth - my truth. All the mirrors were flawed around me and that caused cognitive dissonance and an insecure sense of self. It felt like gaslighting. And my parents still fall back into the old patterns or are ridden by enormous shame and guilt, but I just want to be seen and finally validated after having proof that I was always what I said...

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• PL

  @plursocks · 2 weeks ago (edited)

  I&apos;m ADHD and my fiance is late diagnosed AuDHD. I&apos;ve been no contact with my family for three years and he&apos;s been low contact for a little over a year. Both of our reasons fundamentally boil down to years of ableism from parents taking out their internalized ableism on us. Now that we&apos;re living together, it amazes both of us how easy it is to have a relationship with the other one because we&apos;re both just so used to being rejected. We&apos;re able to talk things out and understand our differences and we&apos;ve created our home and routine to accommodate those differences instead of complaining about them or trying to force the other person to change. We&apos;re really really good for each other and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.

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• FL

  @floppychopperz812 · 2 weeks ago

  50 years later my family still dismisses it🤷‍♂ to them I&apos;m just choosing to be difficult.

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• GR

  @gracevalentine1666 · 2 weeks ago

  Mom was desperate to have me institutionalized. &nbsp;An autism DX in the early 1960s could’ve gotten me a lobotomy.

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• AD

  @AdamJ-G.P.S.-InfiniteSpaceTime · 2 weeks ago

  About 1/2 way. I feel like bawling my eyes out.

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• BO

  @borderedge6465 · 2 weeks ago

  ❤ for this! Hit so hard. Late diagnosed AuDHD here now in my 50’s. And - not only my parents, but my siblings as well suffer from this bizarre condition that is: <br>“I don’t learn things, but I know everything anyway!”<br><br>This ‘ignorance as lifestyle’ has not only been damaging for me personally and my ability to keep meaningful relationships to my close family; THEY also are victims of their own ignorance, staying stuck in hapless loops of “Why does she/he/they always want to hurt me?!”, when they instead could unstuck themselves by applying a minimum of the easily accessible mountain of modern information out there about psychological family dynamics, generational trauma, codependency, and such.

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• MW

  @MW3JMJ · 2 weeks ago

  Would like a video about for when mom isn&apos;t diagnosed with ASD until later after the adult child is grown. Devastating.

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• NO

  @northyland1157 · 2 weeks ago

  In 1978 kindergarten and grade school they knew I was having trouble socializing. &nbsp;Back then Autism was only low functioning. &nbsp; They held me back a year.. then put me in speech classes and special PE classes. &nbsp; By 3rd or 4th grade they forgot about me. &nbsp;My mom never understood what I was going though. &nbsp; I didn&apos;t find out till I was 45 years old that Its autism. &nbsp;Wasn&apos;t diagnosed until 50. &nbsp;My life might have been a lot different if I got support. &nbsp;I did a lot of things struggling though them not knowing, &nbsp;such as Military and being a mechanic and owning websites. &nbsp;But I used to want to have a family and kids but not at my age, &nbsp;and have spent many holidays and vacations alone. Things would have been different, &nbsp;but I can&apos;t say better or worse.

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• AY

  @aylan.6212 · 2 days ago (edited)

  I was diagnosed at 46 with ASD, diagnosed the year prior to that with ADHD. By that point, I was already alienated from my young adult and teenage daughters, when I was the primary parent both when I was with their Dad and as a single parent. In my relationship with their father, I was very young (15) when it started, he was 10 years older. I am not so much prone to physical abuse, but highly prone to emotional abuse. Did not know what was going on. <br><br>In my grief over losing my girls, also right around perimenopause where body changes also increased differences in my brain, I started therapy and gained a lot of psycho-education. I can now see patterns of behavior that were right under my nose with the kids, the family dynamics and in my own head. Haven&apos;t heard from my girls in years, though. I have tried and tried. Part of me is dead since losing them....on a real level, I haven&apos;t stopped crying in over 6 years...<br><br>Before I knew any of this, I&apos;d heard that estrangement and alienation were hereditary. My own father took off, we never really sustained a relationship, even when I met him much later. He was diagnosed with Tourette&apos;s, probably on account of the tics. I am convinced the doctor missed his Autism by a mile. Don&apos;t think my Dad suspects anything other than the Tourette&apos;s to this day. <br><br>This is a heartbreaking realization, when connecting with others is already difficult.

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