Why Gay Men Are So Divided On Monogamy

Comments · 327

• JO

  @jondeanallout · 3 months ago · pinned

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• JO

  @jordsrvr · 3 months ago (edited)

  Why is it that a desire for monogamy is a trauma response, but a desire for an open relationship is being framed as the healthy choice? &nbsp;Why is the same level of questioning not being placed on the person who has a desire for an open relationship? <br>Plus, if one person asking for an open relationship and another saying they don&apos;t want that, is the &quot;start of the conversation&quot; is this not just coercion? Maybe not as directly as an ultimatum, but it still feels like it&apos;s forcing someone to do something they don&apos;t want to do.

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• IR

  @ironwill8345 · 3 months ago

  Open couples pay a very high price to have access to sex with others, and they can’t stand being reminded of that price, so monogamous couple need to be denigrated by open couples. We remind them of what they’ve lost and it’s intolerable to them.

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• CO

  @coburgkid · 3 months ago

  When one partner begins to have more feelings than expected from an outside encounter, all boundaries and rules are secretly thrown out the window.

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• JE

  @jeanbergeron6451 · 3 months ago

  I was in an open relationship once where we would add a lover once in a while. &nbsp;What I found was that most of the time, the added lover is normally attracted to one of the partners and there is always someone left out or getting less attention.

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• EN

  @EnsignTaurik · 3 months ago

  The bottom line is: &nbsp;know thyself and get with someone who knows himself. This is a discussion that should occur early on when the relationship becomes serious. There should be no assumptions.<br><br>A &quot;mixed&quot; monogamous/open relationship is only going to end badly. Either the partner who is monogamous by nature is going to cave in to the partner wanting to open up the relationship and then die a little bit inside each time that partner is hooking up with someone else, or the partner wanting the open relationship will agree to be monogamous but then secretly get with other guys on the side, anyway.

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• AN

  @antartistube · 2 months ago

  @<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOp9ksvokc&amp;t=1758">29:18</a> It feels like most of the arguments I&apos;ve heard so far focus on the insecurities, self issues, of the person that choses a monogamous relationship, as if the decision, conscious or unconscious, comes from a place of insecurity, lack of self esteem, self worth. And in fact, in my perspective, I believe that there&apos;s also the other way around, regarding people who embrace non monogamous relationships as a response to their fear of intimacy and commitment.

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• TO

  @Toxicmedicine94 · 1 month ago

  In a monogamous relationship, I don’t trust people in open relationships. I do not approve of these friendships for me or for my partner. <br>Hard pass.

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• 24

  @24megabytesleft · 1 month ago (edited)

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOp9ksvokc&amp;t=3774">1:02:54</a> I find it baffling and amazing that out of all of these conversations people don’t ever bring up STD prevention and checkups the conversation, never reaches practicality only hedonism

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• WY

  @wyattbenett4221 · 3 months ago

  For a video where a professional says this is a nuanced subject, this comments section is really incapable of displaying it.

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• JA

  @jamesb1159 · 3 months ago

  One of the best episodes ever. I love the elegant and precise way he describes this. Such clarity. Well done.

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• BO

  @bobnelson1730 · 3 months ago

  The timing of the advert for Sniffies is perfect...

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