The Stories of 'Hidden Heretics' | Ayala Fader

Comments · 395

• FR

  @FriedaVizelBrooklyn · 2 years ago · pinned

  Link to the book Heretic in the House: <a href="https://amzn.to/3WoH7u1">https://amzn.to/3WoH7u1</a><br>Link to the book Mitzvah Girls:<br><a href="https://amzn.to/4cLwRlh">https://amzn.to/4cLwRlh</a>

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• EL

  @elizabethmorton4904 · 1 year ago

  Listening to this conversation as a quite secular non-Jew (Christian heritage), I find myself reflecting on the subtle cultural codes and pressures in mainstream, secular life and questioning whether those of us in that world are really as &quot;free&quot; as we think we are. &nbsp;The secular, mainstream, Western community defines itself in terms of personal freedom and authenticity, but in fact we are highly conformist, and acting truly freely very often invites a lot of push-back. &nbsp;Because we are the dominant society, it is difficult for us to see the barriers we impose on each other; in fact, our own strong belief in our &quot;freedom&quot; and &quot;authenticity&quot; renders us blind to our own reality. &nbsp;But I hear it a lot. &nbsp;I hear people saying, quite vehemently, that those who embrace traditional religion are &quot;brain-washed,&quot; or &quot;stupid,&quot; or &quot;crazy,&quot; because they believe differently from us. And we do, in fact, have quite strict dress codes, they are just very different from those of high-demand religions. &nbsp;For example, I find headscarves quite warm and comfortable, but the people in my life are scandalized by the idea of me wearing a headscarf, because now it is unfashionable and unconventional. &nbsp;We suffer a lot from the &quot;fashion police&quot; and that is something we talk about all the time. &nbsp;There are all kinds of things that we &quot;have to do&quot; or can&apos;t possibly do, without escaping censure. &nbsp;I think every culture or society imposes it&apos;s own codes, behaviours, beliefs and ways of life on its own members, because that is the way that human societies work - it&apos;s how we create cohesion and predictability in our own worlds. &nbsp;I wonder to what extent anthropologists who are members of secular, Western society, are really conscious of this - it would be interesting to know.

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• MZ

  @mzalcyoga · 2 years ago

  Your channel gets better at every interview. I can’t stop to be amazed by your work.

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• ZE

  @Zelde-M · 2 years ago

  An eye-opening informed glimpse into the difficult world of double-lifers. Professor Fader does not take a simplistic approach to this struggle. She is charming and well-informed as highlighted by Frieda’s gentle but probing questions and comments. There is no one dimension of simply leaving the faith as we are a folk, a family. Shkoyakh!

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• DA

  @Davidl422 · 2 years ago

  Interesting topic and lots of credit for Ayala for picking up on a lot of the nuances. I wanted to highlight an often-overlooked nuance: the diversity within chassidish communities themselves. It&apos;s not just a binary of chassidish versus Modern Orthodox. Many chassidish families embrace activities that might surprise some, like skiing, biking, and enjoying movies, while still maintaining a culturally chassidish lifestyle. The boundaries between these communities can be fluid, suggesting that individuals seeking change don&apos;t necessarily have to leave their entire community and society behind I sure you all know many families that have made such changes but didn&apos;t really lose there prestige within the community. There are many well educated and out of the box Chassidim that are not hiding there way of life and yet are full members of the society.

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• CE

  @ceeceebeebee889 · 2 years ago

  I just bought Dr. Fader&apos;s book! I&apos;m so excited to read it.

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• BO

  @bonnielester3724 · 2 years ago

  I always tune into your interviews and leave with a deep appreciation of your insightful questions. You have a gift and a healthy curiosity. Dr. Fader speaks to my experience about people having doubts about their faith so I’m going to buy her book. I’m a Jewish chaplain who provides spiritual and emotional support to people of all faith traditions who are facing a life threatening disease or family trauma. In my work I often come across individuals who have doubts about their high orthodox religion (Orthodox Jews, Jehovah Witness, Mormons etc.) I don’t judge them and always offer them a listening ear and a compassionate heart.

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• VI

  @virginiahawkins-td4jt · 1 year ago

  I encountered a frum woman in a 12 step chat room. I could see how difficult it was for her to reach out for help! What a heartache! What I do deeply appreciate is that Orthodox and Chassidic Judaism can bring a sense of the sacred into everyday life.

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• RF

  @rfried686 · 2 years ago

  Intelligent, sympathetic, insightful, human, emotional; with many ancillary notes as you traverse the main topic.

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• PA

  @Patent-Lawyer · 2 years ago

  I appreciate the honest and balanced discussion of the issue. &nbsp; Thank you for providing that.

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• LI

  @liseklerekoper2441 · 2 years ago (edited)

  Fascinating discussion &amp; love the questions Frieda chose to ask. I’m a licensed clinical social worker in private practice &amp; see a number of clients who have left high demand/high control religions, though none who have left a Hasidic Jewish community. I find religious deconstruction &amp; the reconstruction that follows, so interesting &amp; eye opening, &amp; I am grateful for this conversation. <br>What makes Judaism so different than the various Christian-based religions, imo, is that Judaism seems to be much more a culture than just a faith. That cultural connection to others is powerful &amp; fiercely bonding in a different way than say my religion, Episcopalian. <br>My best friend of 45 years is Jewish, &amp; I was always so jealous of her lighting the candles for Shabbos on Fridays, &amp; celebrating the different holidays &amp; festivals. Part of that was just because it was different, but looking back now, I think what pulled me in the most was the sense of connection &amp; community that was palpable.<br>I’m definitely going to read both of the professor’s books that were discussed here.

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• ET

  @ethelcarson1162 · 2 years ago

  Another great interview, Frieda. Love the gentle chemistry between interviewer and interviewee. Especially loved hearing about the cultural importance of chasish lifestyle as a factor for keeping people in the community. Definitely want to read Dr. Faders’ books.

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