Understanding How to Manage Anger in Motherhood - Amber Lia & Wendy Speake Part 1

Comments · 154

• RE

  @rebeccawalker515 · 3 years ago

  I watched this video this afternoon and then went out to messy church with 4 of my children (all under 7) After we got home and went to get ready for bed, I was knackered and my two year old started jumping on my bed (as usual) Instead of saying "Please stop" or "I have told you before not to jump on the bed" I said "ah -oh, did you make a mistake jumping on my bed - shall we try that again and go and get your PJs on?" She got straight off the bed and ran to get ready! I was amazed!! Thank you so much for sharing!

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• AY

  @ayodari_style · 3 years ago

  I needed this. The whining and having to repeat the same thing every single day makes me feel so. Much. Rage. I think I need more time in my Word.

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• BE

  @BelovedMe1529 · 3 years ago

  Needed this, I’ve been struggling with anger and I see the damage that it’s currently doing. My daughter told me she wished she had a different mommy and I about died and I am determined to get it together.

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• WO

  @wombamakuwanashiwaya5879 · 7 years ago

  i needed this. its tough with toddlers. I have been praying to take it easy as a mum of two boys.

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• JE

  @jessicaaye3738 · 3 years ago

  Exactly what I needed. Been struggling as a single stressed out mother. 😢

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• OL

  @oliviairmgard7290 · 6 years ago

  My mother is an angry woman and as a result four of her children are estranged from her. Her mother is also estranged from all her children. I don't want to repeat the cycle and lose my family. I need Jesus.

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• FA

  @fastpitchmermaid4550 · 3 years ago

  Grateful for this, 36 weeks pregnant with our second son and really struggling with my 4 year old who i love more than anything. I need the Lord every hour.

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• DR

  @Dr.JessicaFraser · 9 months ago

  Praying for all us moms watching this

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• SP

  @spendleton14 · 7 years ago

  I’d like to praise God for this video. I’ve been struggling with depression and anger since becoming a new mom. This morning was bad and I saw myself getting angry at dumb little things so much that I started crying. I received a message to look it up and see if someone can offer some word of advice. That someone is always God, but I am SO thankful for this channel and these people for bringing his word to my life. Truly I thank you💕

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• DE

  @detoxARNP · 7 years ago

  Thankkkkk you!!!! I’ve been praying for moms to speak about this!!! I am soooooo sad for all the angry moms and dad out there and their poor kids!!! We all need more love and help and less shame!!!!

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• BE

  @beatricesalome8249 · 7 years ago

  I’m one of the single moms who was struggling with my 13 years old son in silence, but I thank God and I thank you for this precious program

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• PA

  @PaigeSquared · 3 years ago

  As a kid, I didn&apos;t think about my parents&apos; &quot;doing wrong.&quot; I think a lot of parents don&apos;t realize that kids view them as superheroes or infallible; if kids are being treated as if they are not valuable, they will believe they are not valuable. I turned all of my mother&apos;s negative reactions on myself, and took her avoidant attachment style personally. Sure I was &quot;easy to parent&quot; for a decent set of years; the anxiety and depression from the &quot;behaving&quot; (self suppression) caused mental health issues as I aged. Kids DO NOT blame parents while they are young, and even though it feels that way in the moment, kids ultimately blame themselves for most of the negative interactions they have with their caregivers. The symptoms of self shame are more severe if the parents do not: admit to making mistakes, include kids in discussion of difficult topics/family challenges and decision making, follow up after incidents, apologize, and model basic conflict resolution themselves. I think a lot of parents aren&apos;t emotionally available to their kids, even when they want to be. <br><br>The redo is a great way to reframe &quot;bad&quot; behavior in the home and shift the kid&apos;s focus and goals. I have to admit what made a larger difference in my life- compassionately allowing a redo for MYSELF! As soon as I catch myself, I tell my toddler I want a redo, that this isn&apos;t how I want to conduct myself. Then I fully act out a redo, from the start, paying attention to tone, language/phrasing, body language, eye contact/level, location, background noise. Calling it out and actually <b>physically doing the redo,</b> instead of a quick apology then isolating &amp; beating myself up for it afterwards, allowed me to actually start doing better on a regular basis. The practice of the preferred behavior helps the brain create neural pathways so that the next time the situation occurs, the path is at least there as an option. Shaming ourselves without practicing how we would like to behave (with the other person present) doesn&apos;t help create the better option for us to utilize when we need it. Choosing our preferred response won&apos;t be automatic until we choose that path over and over, and allow the old path to become overgrown, eventually it can become counterintuitive to react in anger.<br><br>I often felt serious shame about how I handled my toddler&apos;s more adventurous behaviors. Now that we both have the ability for a &quot;redo,&quot; I find myself more proactively interacting with him in a respectful way. There is less yelling from both sides. I&apos;m hoping to create an environment where mistakes aren&apos;t just accepted, they&apos;re expected and normalized and handled compassionately. Mistakes don&apos;t make us less worthy of love.

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