How to Raise Successful Kids -- Without Over-Parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims | TED
4.2M views · Oct 4, 2016 · Education
Comments · 2.2K
@TED · 4 years ago (edited) · pinned
Whether you’re just launching your adult life or finally giving yourself permission to question assumptions about adulthood, learn practical strategies to build a future that fits you from Julie Lythcott-Haims. Enroll in her TED Course “How to become be your best adult self” today: <br><a href="https://tedtalks.social/3OmpymZ">https://tedtalks.social/3OmpymZ</a>
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@deejay824do · 4 years ago (edited)
My father who passed away on August 28th, 2021, taught me to do chores at home. Laundry, dishwashing, cooking, house cleaning, taking care of my younger brothers. Now my wife is so happy she married me because I do our own chores without complaining, Thanks Pops. Miss you.
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@abigailap-apid6513 · 5 years ago
My parents are farmers. My mom spent almost her entire life under sun and rain and wanting that her kids not end up like her. My dad was a small-village pastor who helped out in the farms whenever he could. They both understood the value of education,not just at home but in school as well. Discipline was important to them but they never failed to tell us and show us how much they loved us , even while disciplining us for our wrongdoings. But most importantly, even though they both never finished high school, they made sure to live by example in the things that they knew best: being compassionate, kind, loving and so on to any and every person. We're 12 children. The twelfth had just enrolled into university as a nursing student. They have raised 12 children who will forever be grateful for having them as parents.
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@vchafab · 5 years ago
I told my daughter’s teacher that she will no longer be doing homework a few years ago. We now tell her new teacher every year the same. She thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. She does chores, has horse riding, and family time, she is already in school 7 hours a day. And guess what, she scores the same as the other students but she is much, much happier. Our anxiety ridden 4th grader is now a confident bright young woman.
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@princessesther7706 · 5 years ago (edited)
Lol I’m 14 and I’m already trying to figure out how to raise my future kids correctly😂I just see a lot of my friends suffering because of their parents and I’m like “nope, not gonna be me”. I plan on collecting knowledge throughout my teenage years so when the time comes I’ll hopefully be a good mom.
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@happinesschepkemboi · 3 years ago
I am a 25 year old female, who unfortunately grew up with such parents. I went to the best schools, I had food on my table, every "material" thing I needed, they provided. I don't complain, I am really appreciative and respect my parents.<br>But later on in life, I realized they neglected something else, my emotional growth.( Probably they had no information about it, they just did what they knew)<br>I came to understand my parents were toxic, controlling and damaging to my emotional being.<br>I realized that I had all these receptors of fear, anxiety, self doubt and yearn for approval.<br>I realized that growing up, I ended up raising my " emotional growth" on my own.<br>I realized I ended up repressing every emotion that I felt because no one was receptive to what I felt.<br>I realized that I was a sensitive and highly expressive child but every time I expressed how I felt, my emotions were blocked and perceived as weakness, meanness and seen as a difficult child.<br>I realized that this helped my build confidence in order to protect myself.<br>Every time any of my parents hurt me, I always felt the need to let them know I wasn't happy.<br>Instead, they overly criticized me and termed it as disrespectful.<br>I had to reparent my emotions myself.<br>I had to make myself understand that even though I got all the material things that helped me in my growth, I knew I lacked something.<br>That is why I intentionally am interested in learning everything I need to know to become a healthy parent and raise balanced children.( Emotionally, physically, spiritual, mentally)<br>And to everyone reading this, it's not your fault that you were raised that way, I hope that you get to heal.<br>And that you learn what you need to, and unlearn what you were exposed to and is unhealthy.<br>And that you will be the best parents!<br>Much love!!
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@arielgrushka · 4 years ago
"Self-efficacy is built when one sees that one's actions leads to outcomes", I love that.
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@kaitlynbrady3017 · 9 years ago
The fact that people need to be told that their kids are their own people and not their parents' vanity projects is so sad.
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@lmo1389 · 8 years ago
We are imperfect people trying to raise perfect children. Go figure.
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@leldejansone7645 · 2 years ago
Raised "school smart" and "life stupid" was my experience, that and the resulting adult I was for about a decade after left me with a lot of scars. Education is great, but a healthy human being needs that unconditional love, those acts of kindness between people, and those opportunities to grow own resilience in all aspects of life. It's that balance between "let kids be kids" and "children are people too", meaning care and protect, yes, but let them think, do and figure stuff out for themselves too! That's what I've come to believe, anyway.
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@glauciamsq · 5 years ago
My parents used to be like that. Then, when I got into the perfecte degree in the perfect college, I had a breakdown that left me bedridden for a whole year. They realized what had happened and now they are being absolutely amazing, understanding and encouraging-but-not-overbearing parents to my little brother (and to me as well). I love them so much, and I respect and admire them so much for havig the courage of admitting their own shortcomings and to truly rethink their parenting style to become better for their kids ❤️
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@bobdabuilder3291 · 9 years ago
I would show this to my parents but they would just ask why I'm not doing homework....
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