Repressed Anger Is Doing THIS to Your Body | Dr. Gabor Maté

Comments · 192

• FA

  @falconbritt5461 · 9 months ago (edited)

  Toxic, immature, controlling, narcissistic, aggressive, and/or mentally ill parents with those traits do refuse to honor their children&apos;s anger or needs. &nbsp;Expressing anger or asking for what the child needs (or even looking the parent in the eye) can catch the children unholy hell for months. &nbsp;The child&apos;s requests and needs are considered an intolerable imposition to parents that deeply disturbed, even when the child is young. &nbsp;Such parents somehow see children as lazy and worthless adults who are out to annoy them. &nbsp;Who deserve to be treated cruelly until they make the parent always happy. &nbsp;But such parents cannot be made happy because they choose to be chronically miserable and often build their identities around their victimhood. &nbsp;Such parents stay on top of the child like a ten ton weight emotionally, viciously attempting to kill off at all times any expression of a thought or feeling that makes the parent feel in the least uncomfortable. &nbsp;Since an emotionally disturbed parent feels uncomfortable at everything, the kid cannot win. &nbsp;Any thought or feeling or action or facial expression that doesn&apos;t make the parent happier brings down even more cruelty and pressure on their child. &nbsp;<br><br>Somehow those parents seem to think the child owes it to them to be their nurturing parent and their therapist (on call 24/7, untrained, and unpaid) whether the child wants these roles or not. &nbsp;Paradoxically, the parents may also expect the child to accept the role of being their emotional punching bag, to vent upon at will. &nbsp;And to be their emotional trash can, where they can dump their misery and blame and project their hatred and sense of worthlessness. &nbsp;And bizarrely, along with all that, to provide them loving support and praise any time they want it (which is often), to be their psychic energy vending machine, available at all times. &nbsp;<br><br>A child in such a situation is continually exhausted, confused, and emotionally distressed. &nbsp;They are not allowed to be a child or even evolve a separate self - it&apos;s a constant reactive struggle just to survive the continual energetic assault. &nbsp;Later, the parent hates their adult child for not successfully filling all these roles for them enough to make them happy (an utterly impossible task). &nbsp;Such parents become very dependent on having the child try to fill all these inappropriate roles for them, so they typically won&apos;t let them go be happy, either. &nbsp;They don&apos;t see the child as a separate person deserving of peace. &nbsp;Or happiness. &nbsp;Or freedom. &nbsp;Even if it costs the adult child their health, these kinds of parents are like drowning people who will drown their children beneath them in their emotional chaos. <br><br>Thus the large numbers of adult children going no contact right now. &nbsp;Nobody wants to lose their family, to be orphaned, but for emotional survival and to gain any physical health, no contact often becomes necessary. &nbsp;These kinds of parents refuse to take responsibility for their own lives and happiness, refuse to go get therapy and mature, refuse to become kind and respectful people. &nbsp;No wonder the health issues are severe as the years pass for children of such parents. &nbsp;Autoimmune issues in particular, of all kinds - it&apos;s the body attacking itself because the situation is intolerable. &nbsp;Children of such parents don&apos;t owe it to them to stay sick, miserable, and abused. It&apos;s appropriate to save themselves, exit if necessary, and suggest the parent see a therapist. &nbsp;<br><br>Parents need to grow up and learn to be kind and respectful people too. &nbsp;They need to take responsibility to learn about codependency and enmeshment and narcissistic traits, so they stop wrecking the health and quality of life for their family members. &nbsp;If they refuse to grow up, and insist on instead continuing to hurt and harm others, all you can do as an adult child of such a person is to save yourself. &nbsp;You deserve a life, and you don&apos;t want that kind of &quot;parental behavior&quot; modeled as normal for your children.

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• EK

  @eKoush · 2 weeks ago

  So that&apos;s why I am so healthy! I&apos;m angry at everything and everyone!!!

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• HW

  @hwilder111 · 9 months ago

  Had a 30 year chornic illness due to repressed anger.. from childhood sexual abuse...

  57

• HE

  @HeatherHighland888 · 9 months ago (edited)

  Suppressing and repressing healthy emotions that are trying to protect you can lead to chronic stress and disease within the body. <br>If you neglect one, you are also neglecting the other. <br>I get it. <br>Emotions and your immune system are your greatest allies and give you your energy and vitality. <br>Thank you for a fantastic explanation. &nbsp;❤

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• AL

  @Allison_White · 1 month ago (edited)

  Makes so much sense. I was not allowed to be angry as a child. So, I had severe depression &amp; fibromyalgia by 13 yrs old. Now in my mid 40’s, I’ve lost count on the number of chronic autoimmune diagnoses I’ve been given.

  24

• MD

  @mditt7 · 3 months ago (edited)

  This man seems to emanate gentle paternal Love to me. I&apos;m a 58 year old male. I&apos;m either messed up or I&apos;m right.

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• SA

  @sabinek.1772 · 9 months ago

  My husband always seemed calm and controlled on the outside and I even asked him once: where, how do you ever express your anger? &nbsp;He developped MS and died of a heart attack 3 years ago age 64.

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• DI

  @dianacarter_art · 1 month ago

  If I ever expressed anger, I was hit or punished or was told I was wrong and that person then treated me like I was a hateful villain. I have lots of trouble to this day expressing anger and I just try not to get angry about anything.

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• KA

  @Katiemadonna3 · 1 month ago

  I express my anger. It still hasn’t stopped auto immune disease from developing.

  3

• TH

  @TheBuckLook · 1 month ago

  I need the information on how to release repressed anger.

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• NU

  @number1angel66 · 1 month ago

  I am also dealing with repressed anger, as well as other emotions. I need to get back to doing daily guided Chakra meditations. (There are many to choose from here on YouTube. I start with the Root Chakra on day one, the Sacral Chakra on day two, the Solar Plexus Chakra on day three, the Heart Chakra on day four, the Throat Chakra on day five, the Third Eye Chakra on day six and the Crown Chakra on day seven.) I repeated that schedule for three weeks and decided to take a break. It helped quite a bit. I think what would help me more are several more rounds of EMDR. (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprossessing). It helps you, with a Therapist&apos;s guidance, to revisit a traumatic experience, while holding a device. The Therapist talks with you about the experience while the device helps your brain reprocess it. I only had one session but it helped tremendously. Best of luck to everyone dealing with repressed feelings and/or memories.

  3

• SE

  @Seltnyt · 1 day ago

  Okay, a good argument to stop being such a people pleaser as I am, which I already am trying to fix.