“I Had to Drink to Stop Withdrawal!" Alcohol Addiction & Recovery. School of Rock Bottom 91: Aish

Aish went from drinking 2–3 glasses of wine a week to more than 400 units of alcohol a week. She became physically dependent on alcohol, experienced severe withdrawal and alcohol-induced psychosis, got sober, stayed sober for a year, and then relapsed. Now sober since November 2025 and in early recovery, Aish joins me to tell the story of how her drinking spiralled, what finally brought her home from Canada, why she relapsed, and what recovery looks like this time. Aish has always struggled to find her place in the world. She began drinking to fit in after a misdiagnosis at 17, and what started as social drinking during years of summers abroad slowly became something far more hidden — and far more severe. At its worst, Aish became physically dependent on alcohol and experienced severe withdrawal, including vomiting, blackouts, confusion and episodes where reality itself became unstable. A move to Canada was meant to change everything. It didn't. By September 2024, Aish describes reaching complete exhaustion — mentally, physically and emotionally — sick and tired of being sick and tired. She flew home, got sober and, a year later, relapsed. Aish takes us inside the reality of severe alcohol addiction and explains how something that initially helped her feel accepted and normal eventually became something she couldn't function without. She recalls one of the darkest moments of her addiction: sitting on the floor of an airport toilet in Canada, drinking whiskey while families around her prepared to go on holiday. She was physically unwell, struggling to walk and drinking simply to prevent withdrawal so she could make the journey home. Aish also opens up about the periods when alcohol affected her perception of reality, including hallucinations and alcohol-induced psychosis. She explains how frightening it became when she could no longer trust what she was seeing and hearing. The conversation explores what may have been underneath her addiction, including a late diagnosis of ADHD and autism, an ongoing OCD assessment, trauma, masking, intrusive thoughts and years of feeling different and misunderstood. She talks about lockdown, losing three friends to mental health struggles and becoming consumed by intrusive thoughts about death, leading to months of isolation and an increasingly difficult relationship with her own thoughts. Aish is also incredibly honest about relapse. After a year sober, she returned to drinking despite knowing where alcohol had taken her before. She explains why getting sober for other people wasn't enough, what happened when she relapsed and how subsequent withdrawal became even more frightening. Oliver and Aish discuss the physical and emotional consequences of addiction, the guilt and shame that can follow it, and the difficult work that begins once the drinking stops. Aish also shares a deeply personal experience from her past and talks about learning to separate the things she regrets about her addiction from the things that were never her fault. Now in early recovery, Aish is learning to stop masking, confront the parts of her past she previously avoided and discover who she is underneath addiction. And despite everything she has been through, she has discovered something remarkable: sobriety is giving her the connection, courage, authenticity and freedom that alcohol promised but could never deliver. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Support School of Rock Bottom: https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:05 A rock bottom moment 6:05 Sleeping tablets & Food 8:05 Feeling "different" 8:50 Becoming a bully 10:35 ADHD & socialising 12:45 Misdiagnosed with bipolar 14:35 Being sectioned 16:05 Masking 17:20 Lockdown accelerates drinking 21:05 OCD 24:05 Alcohol tolerance & 400 units a week 28:20 Suicidal thoughts 29:45 Alcohol psychosis 32:35 Alcohol withdrawal 34:45 Relapse 36:05 The kindling effect 38:05 Wet Brain 40:35 You have to WANT to get sober 41:20 Aish's recovery 43:50 Guilt, shame and vulnerability 48:05 Forgiving yourself 54:20 The joys of sobriety! 56:05 Try everything to get sober! Follow Aish TikTok - aish_thesoberseat Instagram - aish_thesoberseat Podcast - https://tinyurl.com/znf5m6ja Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - “I Had to Drink to Stop Withdrawal!" Alcoh... Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4dwd6utu Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AlcoholAddiction #Recovery #Sobriety