From Nice to Kind: Building a Culture for the Future | Round 2

Can a workplace be so nice that it stops being kind? When leaders avoid uncomfortable conversations, employees can miss the feedback they need to succeed. On this episode of Water Cooler Wednesday, David Shar, PhD, talks with Jeff Makries, PHR, Director of Human Resources at Surf Internet, about the difference between keeping people comfortable and helping them grow. Jeff explains how Surf involved employees in defining internal core values and the behaviors behind them, developed its Culture for the Future book, coached managers through feedback conversations, and incorporated those expectations into onboarding and performance reviews. We also explore why asking for feedback is easier than receiving it, how recognition and everyday relationship-building affect difficult conversations, why a performance review shouldn't contain surprises, and what leaders face when a high performer undermines the culture. We discuss informal upward feedback and whether formal 360 reviews could be a useful next step. The conversation closes with a practical starting point for managers and HR professionals who can't redesign the whole organization: begin with one person and one honest, constructive conversation. Recorded live September 23, 2026. CHAPTERS 0:00 Can being too nice become toxic? 2:50 Meet Jeff Makries and Surf Internet 4:08 Six in 60: getting to know Jeff 5:30 Nice culture versus kind culture 7:04 Why Surf began changing its feedback culture 9:39 Building core values with employee input 11:55 Integrity and the cost of avoiding honest feedback 16:37 Asking for feedback versus receiving it 18:13 Constructive feedback and performance improvement plans 20:54 Employee buy-in and Culture for the Future 23:42 Coaching managers to address behavior, not identity 26:34 Objective feedback and reducing defensiveness 29:09 Recognition, trust, and filling the bucket 32:34 Rolling out new expectations and holding managers accountable 37:32 Upward feedback and the possibility of 360 reviews 42:32 Why performance reviews shouldn't bring surprises 44:15 Build the relationship before the difficult conversation 47:08 The name-tag story: say good morning first 49:12 Values in performance reviews and changes in turnover 52:24 When a high performer undermines the culture 59:15 Start small: one manager, one conversation 1:01:52 Connect with Jeff and what's next on WCW Connect with Jeff Makries: LinkedIn: jmakries Explore working with David and the KINDER Leader Training Experience: https://linktr.ee/DavidShar Subscribe for more Water Cooler Wednesday conversations about leadership, workplace culture, and building a kinder kind of workplace. #WaterCoolerWednesday #Leadership #WorkplaceCulture