Who should take criticism in the age of parasocial relationships?

Comments · 92

• DE

  @derdsnibhrian7686 · 5 days ago

  I have thought a lot about friendships being parasocial now. I have a lot of friends who added me on social media as we were getting to know eachother, and the relationship never deepened. Or we drifted away from eachother. Or maybe i was added to a close friends story and never removed. And now i feel wierd because i am able to access so much about them and stay up to date but we never speak. I will frequently update my mum on what old school friends are doing but we havent spoke to eachother in years. It can be really warping. Like how many friends do i have versus people i sort of know online. Also has made it hard to develop my aquaintances as i might know a huge amount about them from their social medias but the number of times we have spoken isnt that many. I find myself wondering if i should ask them about stuff theyve posted or pretend like i didnt see it and try to see if it comes up organically - both feel strange. Learning about a friend through their posts feels like snooping in their drawers when they leave a room, even when its publically posted idk if people always realise who they are posting for

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• JE

  @jessd8357 · 6 hours ago

  Having a friend in common is such a good reference for parasocial relationships!

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• SO

  @socpancake · 2 days ago

  I move countries a lot because of my job in academia, as do a lot of my friends, and so at any moment most of the friendships I'm trying to maintain are long-distance, which is not always easy 🥲 even still, I refuse to use social media to passively absorb knowledge about my friends' lives. catch-up culture is painful, yes, and there's nothing quite having a friend living in the same place as you, so you can run boring errands together and share those inconsequential little moments most of our lives are made up out of. but a nice long video call with a jokey "recent life updates" powerpoint presentation is how we keep each other in the loop -- and it's infinitely more joyful than me learning about your engagement from an instagram story.

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• ZO

  @zoeziebee · 5 days ago

  It’s interesting to think about having para-social relationships with our real-life friends

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• QU

  @queenoftheverse · 2 days ago

  Yeah someone once told me "if the only way you know what's going on with your friends is what you read online, you're not their friend, you're just another follower." But even if you get the update from them in person it doesn't mean you're having a meaningful relationship with them. On the other hand I have a friend that I never manage to catch up with because we talk about ideas and concepts and tangents and then go home and realize we haven't shared our basic news.😂

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• MM

  @mmmsss2443 · 2 days ago

  I do find your videos really useful! You've introduced me to the Women's Prize, and through that, some of my favourite books. I've given up dairy this year, which I'm interpreting as a form of half-arsed veganism. And I've gotten more unapologetic about wearing my favourite colours all the time!

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• 0R

  @0roseable · 1 day ago

  The "six dot points about my life" is so relatable. It feels like that is a lot of my friendships - it is catch ups where we chat. But I feel isolated because there aren't people I do life with.

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• JA

  @jayalexandrah · 1 day ago

  Ahhhh!! That's it! You hit the nail bang on the head, Leena! Social Media is mutating friendships and acquaintanceships into parasocial relationships.... Oh... I really don't like it... What do we do???? This IS something to think about.

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• RE

  @RebeccaLeeAltamira · 1 day ago

  friend washing detergent smell is so niche and so true and now that im a parent im becoming aware that the random washing liquid i chose at the supermarket is becoming my kids core childhood smell memory of home

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• SH

  @shae7570 · 1 day ago

  nothing intelligent to offer - this is LOVELY <3

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• LO

  @lottas3561 · 1 day ago

  I found it interesting when you talked about youtube (or other platforms) like church and a sermon we just turn up to listen to and not participate. Because back in the days (was it the platform or was it me??) I used to comment but also participate more in general. With nerdfighteria but also with your channel - I&apos;ve even just remembered now that I recorded and uploaded a video of me ages ago when you did a series/playlist on bathtub busking and you added everyone to this playlist who made a video busking in their bathtub. woooooah the times have changed (maybe I&apos;m just 31 and not 19). But I also have felt the vibe shift on youtube and the other platforms (even reddit) - basically the only thing that stayed true to itself is Wikipedia. I found a lot of joy, inspiration and information on the internet and I still do in places like your channel. it&apos;s been incredibly useful to me. Thank you (and everyone who is reading this, because I also learned so much through reading the comments under your videos). I&apos;m trying to curate my experience, blocking ads, disabling trackers, not using instagram anymore, not using tiktok, no news apps, listening to the news only via a news podcast. But still I feel it&apos;s so hard to escape this flood of content for the sake of content. And I&apos;m sick of the parasocial plastic projections of friends or people I once knew. On the one hand I feel I should keep up and on the other I want to escape it all and I feel so much better mentally since I stopped consuming so much. <br>Criticism and thoughts on how we consume (physically and digitally) are also a HUGE takeaway from your videos. I don&apos;t know where I&apos;m going with this, but I think maybe it&apos;s time for a new (old) internet free from capitalist bullshit. Thanks anyway for being here and doing what you do since what feels like forever &lt;3

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• EL

  @eline.de.allerbeste · 1 day ago

  As someone who lives in a different country from my immediate family, I&apos;ve been thinking about this a lot even with the people closest to me. It has felt like more of a catching up relationship for a while, and I&apos;ve recently decided to visit home more often (I&apos;m also lucky enough to have a flexible job I can do from there) to be able to deepen those relationships again.

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