Why making babies "cry it out" is harmful

Comments · 331

• AN

  @AnaPsychology · 1 year ago · pinned

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• AN

  @Anna133199 · 1 year ago

  &quot;Imagine how much better the next generation could be&quot; is quite beautiful. I agree. I don&apos;t want kids to turn out &quot;fine&quot;, I want them to turn out better!

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• KI

  @kimberlyhovis5864 · 1 year ago

  I used to think that the cry it out method was fine in certain circumstances because I was told off and on growing up that I threw my first &quot;two year old temper tantrum&quot; at two days old in the hospital. The head nurse went into my mother&apos;s room and said, &quot;I hope you have a lot of patience.&quot; I also wanted to be held and nursed all of the time, would have projectile spit up all of the time, and my mom had to put me to sleep at an inclined position before being able to lay me flat in my crib due to all of the projectile spit up that would come up. As such, I have been told my whole life that I was stubborn and had been since birth. So, I figured, with some babies, like the one I was, you have to use the cry it out method for your own sanity. <br><br>It wasn&apos;t until I had my son with the same symptoms that I realized what was most likely going on with me. It was reflux. Once I gave my son medication for it, he got a lot better, and the projectile stuff stopped happening. So, it wasn&apos;t that I was born stubborn, I was most likely in a lot of pain from all of the stomach acid bubbling up, unfortunately.<br><br>Bottom line: A baby cries when they are in distress or need something. Just because you can&apos;t tell what that reason is, doesn&apos;t mean that there isn&apos;t a valid reason for it. Go with your gut, advocate for your baby, and listen to your instincts. If a baby is crying a lot it&apos;s because they need help.

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• ZA

  @zak-a-roo264 · 1 year ago

  An infant left crying in the wild would be tracked and taken by an animal. My buddies hunting call &nbsp;device has actual recorded baby animals distress calls to attract predators. There&apos;s NO way allowing a baby I cry it out is &quot;natural&quot; for a Mother.

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• ME

  @Meohmyh · 1 year ago

  When I become a mom, it felt gut wrenching to let my baby cry. I held it him ALL of the time. It made me feel good too, his smell and the sight of him. He’s a healthy, happy, and well adjusted 4 year old.

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• LO

  @louise6268 · 1 year ago

  We can all agree children are the most vulnerable population, yet the terrible things we do to them we would NEVER do to other adults! If you heard your spouse sobbing in the other room, would you just let them cry it out???<br><br>I saw a parent with their kid in a stroller, and the kid started calling out to the parent but received no answer. The kid started to panic, calling out louder, crying and screaming, and the parent just kept quiet, looking annoyed. Can you imagine this doing this to a partner or friend? We don&apos;t even do this to people we hate.<br>And let&apos;s be real, if/when the child starts ignoring the parent in the same way, you can bet they&apos;ll get heavily punished for disrespect.

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• PA

  @pambeta22 · 1 year ago (edited)

  My pediatrician recommended this method to my parents and they unfortunately utilized it on me when I was a baby. Can’t believe people didn’t question this method especially professionals since it intuitively feels wrong and cruel.

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• PA

  @paranoah8550 · 1 year ago

  I hate it when people describe babies as &quot;manipulative&quot; and say they are &quot;being difficult&quot; or &quot;being stubborn&quot;. Kids don&apos;t even develop a theory of mind till they are about two, i.e., they don&apos;t even know that others have thoughts different from theirs. They see the grown up as all-knowing people who will be able to know what is causing them distress and be able to help them. There is no attempt or even ability to &quot;manipulate&quot;.<br><br>On a different note, i also hate it when parents say things like he/she is doing this &quot;just for attention&quot;. Attention is not a trivial thing. For babies attention is survival and kids don&apos;t develop fully without &quot;attention&quot;. I have a friend who didn&apos;t learn to talk even at school because his parents didn&apos;t spend enough time with him at home. Finally they took a few weeks off, stayed at home and talked to him and he was able to start talking soon. Attention is everything for kids, they shouldn&apos;t have to cry or display anger for it

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• RI

  @rileyp0320 · 1 year ago

  As someone from a “cry it out” family, I really struggle with self-soothing as an adult. I’m so glad to see this being talked about😊

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• TA

  @taramcflara · 1 year ago

  My mom did that with me, but she took it a step further and locked me in my room. The bedroom door swung inward, so she tied the outside doorknob to another nearby door so it was physically impossible for me to escape. I remember screaming and crying for hours on end, doing whatever I could think of to try and force her to come in and interact with me, but that was met with mocking, belittling, and more ignoring. <br><br>Later was diagnosed with DID (and a dozen other issues, there was a lot of abuse/neglect) and have not yet been able to have healthy relationships because letting anyone get close to me feels like the most dire mistake I could possibly make.<br><br>Been in therapy/recovery for years and while I&apos;m more sane and more capable of actually thriving now than I ever have been before, these attachment issues still keep me isolated, especially the times when I need help the most. <br><br>Don&apos;t ever do this to your children.

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• YE

  @yeeter2669 · 1 year ago (edited)

  I have the clingiest toddler, he barely plays on his own. He&apos;s always running up during any chores trying to drag me to something, or bringing me a toy to play with him. He still breastfeeds and snuggles all night. Somedays I question if I should have let my son cry it out and be away from me as a baby.<br><br>But my son is the HAPPIEST little thing. At the playground he is tolerant, loves to share, always smiling and quick to greet others. He&apos;s always talking now. Can even read a few words and he&apos;s only two. There&apos;s no amount of chores or sleep in the world worth him. It&apos;s hard work, but that&apos;s being a parent your child deserves.

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• PH

  @phoebe543 · 1 year ago

  I got a lot of unsolicited advice about this when my, now 3 year old, was a baby. I feel like &quot;cry it out&quot; is about training parents to be unempathetic to their children and view childrens distress as a power struggle between them and the child.<br><br> Another example of this is viewing a screaming a toddler as just trying to bully caregivers into getting their way when 9 times out of 10, they are completely overwhelmed and dont know how to calm down. It&apos;s scary for them and you can see it in their eyes. You can&apos;t always give them what they want but you can help them through the disappointment or whatever it is they&apos;re feeling.

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