The Dark Side of a Mormon Mission - Brinley Jensen Pt. 1 | Ep. 1680

Comments · 3.1K

• RI

  @RichardMumford1 · 3 years ago

  70 years old, 60 active LDS years, 2 year mission, BYU graduate...now binge listening.  We don't get time back.  I wish I had her courage.

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• DO

  @dorelkynaston1468 · 2 years ago

  Thank you Margi for being there.  I hear your gasps and deep empathy for this young lady.  It brought me to tears.  You verbally gave such support.

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• RA

  @randyporter3491 · 3 years ago

  This young lady is beyond impressive. She is profoundly intelligent and self aware, and she has a glow about her. Just a beautiful young lady, inside and out.

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• HU

  @HunterRobinetteBrandon · 3 years ago

  The way she internalized Mormonism and perfectionism is literally the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard on this podcast. Proud of her for verbalizing it so well.

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• SO

  @sommer8337 · 3 years ago

  I love this young lady!! She’s so aware at such a young age! <br>The Mormon church is EXCELLENT at gaslighting. They always have been. I have been out of the church for about 20 years and I STILL struggle with things that were deeply, subconsciously indoctrinated into me…. I was made to feel like I was absolutely crazy for asking questions. &nbsp;<br><br>Example-My family was different than most Mormon families. I grew up in Sandy, UT. My dad was inactive, my mom was an atheist, and I was their only child. I wanted some kind of stability, acceptance, togetherness, and spirituality SO BAD that I began walking myself to church every Sunday when I was only 5 years old. This was in the 80s. By the early 1990’s, we had moved to southern CA- I was a beehive in Young Womens, and I truly felt like God spoke to me. That I was CALLED TO SERVE. I felt chosen and special and loved by Heavenly Father. I told my young women’s leader that I felt like maybe I was supposed to be a prophet. I started asking questions about women as bishops, women in the presidency, etc…. And, after she gave me a thorough talking to, I was immediately taken in to see the bishop. He let me know how very wrong I was and to be careful with my thoughts. <br>Then, when I was 14, I got my first kiss. It was very innocent- but yeah. I knew I needed to talk to the bishop. I wanted to be able to be temple worthy to do baptisms for the dead, and I felt like he needed to know. So, I asked for a meeting with my bishop, told him about my closed mouth kiss by the school bus… he proceeded to ask me a lot of VERY inappropriate sexual questions and eventually informed me that I had to repent and not partake of sacrament for a year. Mind you- I am still walking myself to church. Have no family to sit with. Etc. And now, I was in huge trouble. Again. I couldn’t stop crying, sitting there with this old man that I didn’t know. That meant no temple recommend. No baptisms for my ancestors. The bishop told me, if he let me go into the temple, I would literally leave black footprints on the white carpet, because HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS. <br><br>Now, I knew that the other girls in YW were sexually active. At our next meeting after they all went to the temple and I stayed home, I asked them if they left black footprints. In front of our leader. They all giggled and blushed and told me how stupid I was. Privately, one girl told me “why did you even tell the bishop? It was one kiss! I just lie and then everything is fine!” I was blown away. That’s TWO BIG SINS- lying to a bishop AND premarital sex… but she didn’t leave black footprints?!? And I would?!? <br><br>At 15, I was raped. I didn’t tell the bishop. God only knows what my punishment would have been for THAT. <br><br>In those days, girls weren’t allowed to go on missions. By the time I was in my early 20s, I had “studied myself out.” &nbsp;I dared to read all the church history, Brigham Young journals, Joseph smiths version of the Bible, read the actual Bible cover to cover….. and, after lots of internal struggle… yeah, I wrote my letters and withdrew my membership. <br><br>This brave, beautiful young lady is so inspiring. I hope that many people who have grown up culturally in the LDS faith but don’t TRULY have a testimony of their own, I hope they will take the time to really study and learn. Being FREE to choose is a beautiful thing. Knowing I’m not inherently bad…. It’s just good. <br><br>Jeesh- didn’t mean to write a whole novel. Apparently this still affects me more than I realized. Anyway- Thank you to this platform for giving all of these amazing people a voice, and to the interviewers for their compassion and well thought out questions. It’s much needed and so very appreciated.

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• SK

  @skipschauer5535 · 3 years ago

  About 30 years ago, I found a Mormon missionary on the side of the road. He was suffering from heat stroke! In Phoenix, Az, it gets a little warm here. So I took him to his Bishop&apos;s &nbsp;residence and explained the situation. The poor kid was from Idaho!

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• LO

  @LordBaranax · 3 years ago

  The mission experience can twist and break young adults. It&apos;s insanely high demand, non-stop full submission to the church and all of their silly rules. I had to go through a stint of therapy after coming home from my full mission just to feel normal again.

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• DI

  @DizzyIzzyMom · 3 years ago

  Here I sit as a 75 year old ……In my youth I was in preparation for the Catholic Sisterhood ……this sweet young women is so brave to start taking back her power. &nbsp; It took me over 40 years to be as mature as this lovely 21 year old.

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• NA

  @NanaJeaniemarie · 3 years ago

  Oh my gosh, &nbsp;I had to pull over from driving .. I am crying, Brinley!! I am so so so proud of you for bucking the system. &nbsp; You were NOT being evil. You were being REAL! &nbsp;You have endured the discomfort of anxiety as you were becoming into yourself while being on this ‘mission’. &nbsp;Sweetheart, your mission was much more than you can imagine! &nbsp;DON’T CHANGE. &nbsp;Keep evolving, you have a great, pure heart. &nbsp;You have your whole life ahead of you. &nbsp;<br><br>Amazing.

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• AL

  @alisaspear3382 · 3 years ago

  Margi&apos;s voice and message in this is so incredibly soothing. That divine feminine coming thru to heal all us ex mormon women and girls with her gentle support and validation. So glad she was here for this one.

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• TR

  @trembletea · 3 years ago

  Just wanted to applaud John’s interview skills. He maintains the narrative flowing and makes sure there are no open loops where the listeners are wondering, “So how did that story end? How did that situation turn out?” And he does all this while giving the interviewee a lot of space to tell their story their own way.

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• HO

  @hollieanderson-rambo17 · 3 years ago (edited)

  This is my first time hearing this channel and reading through the comments I&apos;m beginning to realize that Margi isn&apos;t in all of them and honestly I don&apos;t think I can be as excited about episodes that she is not on!! 😫 He is a great interviewer but she adds the heart and the warmth that makes this one of the best interviews I&apos;ve ever listened to!! Please become a permanent part of this show Margi!! 🤞❤️❤️❤️

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