“I ruin every relationship I care about.” - BPD

Comments · 563

• OL

  @oliviabrienzi8350 · 1 month ago

  I don’t know if this is common in most BPD people, but I’ve seen that their “acting out“ and abusive behavior seems to be centered towards their “safe person“. This person seems to be the one that gets the brunt of the black and white thinking of either being the worst human on the planet that has betrayed them or the best person ever who has always been there for them, depending on if they have fulfilled the request of BPD person. One thing that I have found to be very important to BPD person is “proves of love“. These have to be actions that are directly asked for by BPD person not historical care that you have given BPD person. If you go against their wishes, then they will flip to the other side and now you’re the evil person again because you’re not “proving your love”.

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• HE

  @heide-raquelfuss5580 · 1 month ago

  Run away from people who abuse.<br>No matter their issues.<br>Nothing will be the same anyways after abuse.<br>Does not matter what kind of abuse.<br>Life is short.

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• DA

  @danielwright6277 · 1 month ago

  Being on the other end? The cyclic pendulum swing caused something like addiction, and wreaked havoc in my nervous system. &nbsp;Knocking me off my center, &nbsp;even causing disregulation where it didn&apos;t exist before.. i wanted so badly to heal her fractured identity, but that&apos;s beyond my ability as a human being. &nbsp;Being in a relationship with her felt like being a stellar binary, &nbsp;until my outer layers get stripped off, and I get knocked outta orbit...ejected. Cyclic pattern, &nbsp;extremely painful, emotionally expensive. 20yrs of loving a woman, who in the end ultimately rejected me, wherever she&apos;s floated off too, I wish her well, and hope she avoids the lure of rebound relationships. I myself will not entertain such a notion, as filling a &quot;void&quot; in such a way is self defeating. I&apos;ll just wander off into the sunset, it&apos;ll take years for me to recover i figure. People you love aren&apos;t replaceable parts to substitute. I hope she finds peace someday.

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• KH

  @KhaoticDeterminism · 1 month ago

  my splitting has been coming down with parts therapy over the last 3.5 years …<br><br>it’s a lot of pain

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• OL

  @oliviabrienzi8350 · 1 month ago

  A lot of people who watched the obsession movie who had been in long-term relationships with BPD people described Nikki’s actions in that movie to be very similar to things that they have actually experienced in their real lives dealing with BPD partners.

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• AN

  @Anotherday50 · 1 month ago (edited)

  I glad you addressed the quiet BPD, I don’t think it is talked about enough. &nbsp;I was diagnosed with BPD in my 20’s PTSD. &nbsp;I was more obnoxious, but I learned from that. &nbsp;At the same time, as I got older I just internalize it and went more quiet, because I don’t like drama. &nbsp;I think there might be a lot more people with BPD that are quite because they, ( &nbsp;As I do, don’t like the drama of other people when you get angry, so you internalize it) &nbsp;Drama can be more scary, overwhelming so it’s easier to keep it in your head and constant internal dialogue I have with myself is never good. &nbsp;It never shuts up. &nbsp;That’s just me.

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• AL

  @allisonandrews9445 · 3 weeks ago

  This has been the most clearly described BPD explanation I’ve<br>Come across

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• MA

  @maidofhonor · 1 month ago

  It’s the “Fear of abandonment” forcing them to do more unnecessary testing and toxic acts that actually ruin the relationship. So the story repeats, and more self-sabotage keeps happening.

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• RA

  @Raphael-t5y · 2 weeks ago

  I’m a husband to a wife with BPD and while this is clarifying. I’m at wits end and I’m so exhausted. I don’t know what else to do other than get a divorce and protect our children. It’s breaking my heart because I love so much.

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• NE

  @Neno5782 · 1 month ago

  I left my ex after 9 years. The first 2 years ok honeymoon phase but there were signs. The next 7 years miserable all the signs she was sucking the life out of me. I had to self help through reading a number of excellent books. &nbsp;One sentence screamed through Run Like Hell. I did and never looked back. It took 2 years to find myself again and completely detox. That was 17 years ago never had more peace in my life. I believe their weak energy sucks the positive energy out of you until you are a shell of a person. They are Emotional Vampires.

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• BA

  @babybluecheeks · 1 month ago

  I wanted to add that if someone isn&apos;t managing their BPD, it doesn&apos;t just affect the people that are with them on the outside, as you said. I&apos;m not even sure what that means. It also affects us on the inside. Dealing with someone who chooses not to manage their BPD is horrific and can be mentally abusive, extremely manipulative.

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• JN

  @jnmedina8989 · 1 month ago (edited)

  I&apos;ve done a couple of courses of DBT treatment, across many years. I think the skills I learned and practiced from it have been crucial and at times truly lifesaving. Last year, I started a psychoanalytic treatment because I knew I really needed to get at the core issues underpinning my psychological struggles (as you mention, the *complex trauma*!), which I don&apos;t think behavioral therapies alone can truly tackle (the outside is better but what about the inside?). But I also know that without the DBT skills, I wouldn&apos;t have been capable taking on doing analysis, I wouldn&apos;t have been able to face the depth-work. Some days still are hellish to be sure, but looking back over the last decade of work I have done, I can really see vast improvements in many of my borderline symptoms, and I can see that I am moving towards what Dr. Linehan likes to call &quot;a life worth living.&quot; Perhaps in another 10 years, the progress will be just as striking! I hope so.<br><br>Thank you for all your care work. Your video essays have brought comfort and helped me with reinforcing many of my coping skills over the years. I&apos;m glad they&apos;re able to reach so many. Take care &lt;3

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