Crucial Questions to Ask a Potential Spouse Before Marriage

Comments · 107

• MU

  @MuslimahOfIslam-b6r · 2 years ago

  As a 19 year old girl who’s never married I really appreciate this raw , honest and Islamic content that gives me and many young adults a  example to follow that is very adheres to our deen❤️

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• PU

  @PureTawhid1707 · 1 year ago

  Before asking the questions:<br>&gt; Know the answers you are looking for<br>&gt; Never settle with someone you aren’t compatible with, don’t convince yourself that you will change this person<br>&gt; Don’t be hasty in terms of making a decision, take your time, consult people you trust, pray istikarah<br>&gt; Don’t base your decision on attraction/emotions alone<br>&gt; When asking the questions don’t mention what you are looking for, focus on asking questions to keep the Person honest, asking face to face/directly/in person (for females with mahram) get more authentic/accurate answers<br><br>PERSONALITY<br>Are you more introverted/extroverted?<br>What are things that bother/anger you in terms of other people’s Personality?<br>What are things that make you happy (materialistic &amp; physical)?<br>What Experiences (traumas, emotional situations) have you gone through that affected your life and caused you to be a certain way today?<br>What do you do for fun/entertainment?<br>How are your friends like? Things you do with them?<br>How do you behave when you are upset?<br>What are your good and bad habits?<br>What do you think about (input your personality traits/type)?<br>If you were to be terminally ill how would you deal with that? (—&gt; Ask them about different scenarios/issues that are happening in the world smth that brings out their mentality and outlook on things)<br><br>FAMILY DYNAMIC<br>Are your parents divorced or together?<br>If they are together what is their relationship like?<br>If they are divorced what is your relationship with them both is the other one still in your life etc?<br>If divorced how has it affected you in terms of emotions/has it affected your view on marriage?<br>For sisters: important to find out his views on woman, relationship with sisters (if he has any) and likewise ask his sisters about him<br>For brothers: important to find out her views on men, relationship with brothers (if she has any) and likewise ask her brothers about her<br><br>RAISING CHILDREN<br>What is your role in terms of a mother and raising children? &nbsp;Do you believe in sending your children to daycare? Having a maid that raises the children? (to female)<br>Do you believe in raising the children by iPads/Tv/smartphones etc?<br>Would you allow dressing your children in a more open manner/not modest? <br>When do you believe to get your daughters used to hijab?<br>How would you raise and discipline your children?<br>How do you view raising the children with music toys, music games and generally music?<br><br><br>BELIEF<br>What is your aqidah and methodology?<br>Who do you take your knowledge from? (Are they willing to stop listening to someone who should not be taken from?)<br><br>GENERAL<br>Ask specific marraige scenario questions: How would they behave in that situation? How would they act? What do they think is right in that situation?<br><br>BROTHERS ND SISTERS<br>What type of weeding do you plan to have? (catered food, type of dress, mixing, dancing, music etc.)<br>Your expectations for living standards?<br>How do you view your relationship to in laws?<br>What do you think are the causes of divorces nowadays?<br>What do you believe does a husband/wife have to do that would warrant a divorce?<br>What are the rights of the husband/wife?<br>How do you view the nature of men/females? How woul you deal with it?<br>What is the purpose of marriage?<br>What do you think about doing hijrah/future plans?<br>What does your ideal marriage look like?<br>What does a man want in a woman?/ What does a woman want in a man?<br><br>FOR SISTERS<br>What is your role as a husband?<br>What is your role/duties as a father?<br>Details on plans to take care of me as a husband<br>Future/current career financial situation?<br><br>FOR BROTHERS<br>questions about points/aspects on feminism to see what a sister feels about it without mentioning the word feminism: Do you prioritize having a career over children? What is your view on having a career?<br>View on amount of mehr/dowry?<br>What are your views on obedience to a husband? What entails obedience/ is it conditional?<br>Thoughts on being feminine and submissive to husband or masculine? Conditional?<br>What role do gifts play for you?

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• SA

  @salmannasir793 · 2 years ago

  Time stamping this video would be amazing

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• SA

  @salmannasir793 · 2 years ago

  @<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOO6USP9_O4&amp;t=3462">57:42</a> , questions brothers should ask sisters starts

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• FA

  @faisals.inbox7 · 1 year ago

  ‏جزاك الله خيرا <br><br>A lot of us have not had the privilege of righteous elders to teach us these matters. May Allah reward you for filling the gap, and may Allah aid you to benefit us more.

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• AB

  @abuhijjra · 1 year ago

  People don’t need to be very compatible in personalities. Sometimes when people have opposite personalities they compliment each other. I have had a more difficult time with women that are more like me, whereas the women that have opposite personalities to mine bring out the best in me.

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• AS

  @asophfable · 6 months ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOO6USP9_O4&amp;t=4560">1:16:00</a> Yes! I have experience, alongside 7 others in the community, in a man completely relaxing and never leading, being indecisive, being passive, submissive, wanting to be taken cared of. It goes both ways, and doesn&apos;t have to be gendered— it can be a woman who takes out the trash, man who cleans, works, and woman who takes care of the kids, but goes out with her friends, etc. It can be a mix and match, tradition from our cultures does not always equal Islam

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• LI

  @lifewithuf · 1 year ago (edited)

  The culture in asia really doesn&apos;t allow to ask broad minded questions I pray Allah gives each of us the chance to get answers for these questions or as anyways make us the best versions of ourselves and bless us with a blessed loving marriage

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• AB

  @abuhijjra · 1 year ago

  There should be no emails or chats between a brother or sister, because this is a form of the man being alone with the woman. The prophet peace be upon Him said, a man and a woman alone together, shaitan is the third.

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• ZA

  @zain1132 · 1 year ago

  If a person is angry and they get quiet to calm themselves down, that shows maturity. Why would anyone be against that?

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• LI

  @lifewithuf · 1 year ago

  Hope we get the best spouse for ourselves 💓 in sha Allah

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• AB

  @abuhijjra · 1 year ago

  People do need to ask about the Aqeedah of the other person. <br>Brother, if emotions get involved then they have been spending too much time together without a mahram.

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