Adopted from Indonesia to the Netherlands: A Dutch family’s reckoning | Witness Documentary

Comments · 2.1K

• AL

  @aljazeeraenglish · 1 year ago · pinned

  Thanks for tuning in. Filmmaker Huibert van Wijk explores the complexities of international adoption through his own family’s story. His adopted brother Tim and their father Lex have been estranged for years, grappling with the emotional scars and regrets left behind. As the Netherlands moves to phase out international adoption, their story offers a poignant reflection on the past. We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Please remember that hateful comments will be removed. Watch more documentaries from Witness here: <a href="http://aje.io/witnessyt">aje.io/witnessyt</a>

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• KI

  @kilanspeaks · 1 year ago

  It’s disheartening to see so many harsh comments about Tim from people who clearly haven’t taken the time to understand where his pain comes from. The worst are those insisting he should just “be grateful” for being adopted, as if gratitude should silence all the complex feelings that come with a life uprooted.<br><br>I believe Tim’s adoptive parents had good intentions. But even his father admits he was young when the decision was made. The fact that the couple later divorced speaks volumes about how unprepared they may have been. Religion seemed to play a major role, the desire to do something “good” or “holy.” And while I don’t throw around terms like white savior complex lightly, it’s hard to ignore when his father says, “It was like pregnancy, only the baby came from a plane instead of a mother.” That statement, however innocent it might’ve seemed to him, reflects a deep disconnect from the emotional reality of adoption, reducing it to an act of charity rather than a lifelong responsibility toward another human being. <br><br>Yes, Tim probably grew up in a safe and loving home. But love doesn’t erase cultural dislocation. It doesn’t erase the confusion of growing up different, or the feeling of being someone else’s project. And yes, he may be more Dutch than Indonesian, but his point remains valid: maybe instead of relocating children, efforts should’ve gone toward supporting families and communities in their home countries.<br><br>Tim’s story is not an attack. It’s a reflection of what happens when children are moved across borders without truly understanding the lifelong consequences. You can see in his eyes how much he’s still processing. That deserves compassion, not mockery.<br><br>I hope Tim finds peace. And I hope he and Sumi are able to build a life that finally feels like it’s fully his.<br>Warm greetings from Indonesia.

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• ZI

  @zia03 · 1 year ago

  All Tim ever wanted is a sense of belonging like we all do. I pray that he will find it one day. ❤

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• WE

  @wenvri · 1 year ago (edited)

  His father loves him, you can see it, the way he talks and tell story’s about tim, baby tim. His smile on tim wedding. At the end “you are my son” always be

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• BR

  @brucee6123 · 1 year ago

  &quot;Nobody goes looking for disappointment on purpose&quot; .... powerful words.

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• JE

  @jennad6805 · 11 months ago (edited)

  It&apos;s clear to me that Lex loves Tim very much. He talked about him and to him with so much care and love. He&apos;s happy when Tim&apos;s happy (he looked so happy, touched, and grateful in Tim&apos;s and Sumi&apos;s wedding), and the realization of how his own action left a deep scar on Tim must&apos;ve crushed him. There&apos;s no school on how to be a parent, and Lex probably tried his best, but life happened. For an adopted child so far removed from his own culture, navigating life without stability or a constant mother figure must&apos;ve been really difficult for Tim. Glad they started to talk openly to each other and like Tim said, just don&apos;t push things under the rug anymore. Like any other parent, Lex probably did not always understand Tim, but in his eyes, this child will be forever his adorable eldest son. Hope, they will go on a trip to Indonesia one day and get to talk about many things!

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• PU

  @purpurina5663 · 1 year ago

  Slightly off topic but I&apos;m fascinated by the fact that while Tim&apos;s facial features are Indonesian, his visage, attitude and demeanor are those of a Dutch man, almost to the point of altering said features.

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• PE

  @percycat213 · 1 year ago

  As an asian adopted child raised in Europe, i can say that the most traumatic and damaging part of my childhood was my adoptive parents&apos; divorce. &nbsp;Not only was i taken away from my birth place and family, but i also had my new family torn. Parents who choose to adopt need to be keenly aware of the responsibility they have towards adopted children. &nbsp;They are essentially choosing to raise someone else&apos;s child, nobody force them to do it, so they have to make sure they do their very best to maintain a nurturing and loving environment.

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• NC

  @ncoppens · 1 year ago

  I am Dutch, white, and born in the same year as Tim and I was adopted by a very loving Dutch family. I have always wondered a lot how hard it must be to have that feeling of not belonging in any country on top of all the other standard adoption trauma. On top of that not having the choice because of skin color to decide if you want to share the fact that you are adopted or not. It also differs a lot on the person, because my older brother who was also Dutch, white and adopted carried the same kind of anger Tim has and I never did. <br><br>In those days you had television, radio and the newspapers and they all sold this story that these children needed to be saved by adoption. &nbsp;Many children where &quot;saved&quot; from countries like Indonesia, Colombia etc and people genuinely thought they where doing the right thing. If it was the better choice no one will ever know, but it is a fact that a lot of these children developed problems rooted in being pulled away from their culture and feeling they didn&apos;t belong in either. I don&apos;t think with the information we have now that adopting a child from a different country is the best way to help a child, but I think that goes for many of these adoptive parents who adopted back in the day too. <br>I feel sad for both Tim and his father that life developed this way so far. I think the last conversation they had was &nbsp;very important first step in their healing process. Dutch people, especially men the age of Tim&apos;s father have a problem opening up about their feelings and saying directly what they feel or apologize. To me it is clear they love each other and I hope talking more and doing that trip will help them both a lot.

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• CH

  @CharJurge · 1 year ago

  I feel compassion for Tim and the rage he felt since a child, being adopted by parents who may have loved him but did not respect or appreciate his racial or ethnic culture as being equal to theirs. Children are highly perceptive. Telling a child his birth mother was poor and by our adopting you we saved you from a wretched life in Indonesia is to spit on Tim&apos;s racial identity and dignity.

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• LE

  @leightonbuchanan-cates3932 · 1 year ago

  As an international adoptee, I felt Tim&apos;s deepest frustrations and his distrust of his parents love for him at a young age, as well as the trauma that comes from being adopted into a family that is falling apart. This type of trauma never really leaves you. I was crying for him and &nbsp;I honestly have no words to express how much I understand what he went thru as a child. My heart goes out to you.

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• DU

  @durgalin341 · 1 year ago

  I’m so glad the father said he’s not sorry that Tim is his son. It needed to be said. I hope Tim slowly heals.

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