Why Stay-At-Home Motherhood Doesn't Work Anymore

Comments · 370

• MA

  @mainbae6154 · 1 month ago

  Money is freedom. A partnership without financial support is slavery.

  291

• AL

  @alizackrone2995 · 1 month ago

  I switched to a fully remote job and took a big pay cut in the process to be home with my daughter. My husband also reoriented his career and searched for housing to minimize his time outside the home when he was working in person (blue collar) and now also has a fully remote job with some travel. Your husband needs to be not just willing to “have a wife”, he needs to be enthusiastic about taking on the responsibilities of being a supportive husband and father. Do not marry or have kids with someone who doesn’t clearly show you they are enthusiastic about taking on the additional responsibilities.

  168

• AT

  @atanamorell2 · 1 month ago (edited)

  The thing is, even if you have a job, you can still get chronically ill or experience severe burnout. Then you are screwed whether you're married or not. If married, your spouse easily falls into treating you as a burden. If single or divorced, you just lie in the gutter being ignored. Life should not come with the expectation of constant health and vitality because that is not how it works. Our society is just not made for real people to live in. That said, it's better to have a job than not. You'll be better off for a while, anyway. Best luck to all of us 💕

  188

• JA

  @Jac527 · 1 month ago

  My hairdresser got baby trapped by her abusive baby daddy, a military man and he is still financially controlling her yet she and her neighbour also SAHMs, have the audacity to tell me that I need to give a man kids to keep a man otherwise I will end up living with my parents. I told both of them I don’t need a man to buy my own house and car, and to enjoy my life in this century; I can buy on my own. I could see them processing that information because religion has brainwashed them to centre a man over themselves.

  95

• JE

  @jenniferesein4813 · 1 month ago

  Maybe it's time to advocate and fight for lowering the full-time work hours from 40 a week to 20 hours a week, to match the pay differential and aggregate productivity.

  52

• JE

  @JessicaPolman-i2p · 1 month ago

  I know so many women who gave up careers for motherhood and are bitterly divorced now. They have no money and have to still ask an ex for an allowance. It is sad.

  109

• 27

  @2745fitness · 1 month ago

  Why would the group that historically has hoarded all the resources be viewed as providers? That never made sense to me.

  175

• LR

  @lr50plus54 · 1 month ago

  What is never really discussed is the effect of being a SAHM on that woman’s future social security. &nbsp; While we may argue that SS might not be around in a few years, it’s still a topic that should be discussed with women. &nbsp; For every year that you stay home with children and don’t have any reported income, you will<br>Have that ZERO calculated in to your highest 35 years of earnings to produce your monthly benefit in the future. &nbsp; &nbsp;Saying that you will be able to receive your husbands benefit is true but ONLY AT HALF OF WHAT HE RECEIVES. &nbsp; If you divorce and live as a single woman, you will receive half of his benefit unless you managed to work and produce a higher benefit on your own. &nbsp; It’s only if you become a widow that you will receive his full benefit as a survivors benefit. &nbsp; The unfairness of this is astounding. &nbsp;Women (and a stay at home dad) receive ZERO credit for those years. &nbsp; &nbsp;We need to start talking about this and find a better way to compensate the work of childcare.

  51

• A9

  @A9322-b9v · 1 month ago

  An IRA in her name only that the wage-earning partner maxes out every year is the absolute bare minimum for this arrangement

  159

• HE

  @heidi4752 · 1 month ago

  Wow - listening to this, it&apos;s like the all the warning lights on the car dashboard have been blinking this whole time, but we&apos;ve been conditioned to ignore them! And here we are, finally seeing these massive problems. <br>This is so important to share. I hope every woman hears this.

  32

• AN

  @andyanderson6522 · 1 month ago

  I tried being a SAHM… I was belittled for not making money!?! WHAT! I divorced him and I don’t &nbsp;even bother with men

  12

• AB

  @abigaelrArts · 1 month ago

  The short series called &quot;Maid&quot; was illuminating to me about what it&apos;s like when you&apos;ve gone the route of staying at home and being fully dependent on your partner&apos;s job to financially support you and your child. She experienced his alcoholism and abuse and found it incredibly difficult to leave. It&apos;s really worth a watch. And she&apos;s smart and she&apos;s capable and she is still subject to so many barriers.

  28