From Knowing to Doing: How to Actually Change Your Patterns | Being Well

Comments · 77

• N8

  @n888-y4z · 2 months ago (edited)

  Nothing changed until I changed my environment. Work, family, friends.  All. Of.  It. All those relationships hinged on my unhealthy fawning and actively resisted  me changing. Environment is the most underrated element of mental health.  Sometimes we're unhealthy because we're in unhealthy dynamics that benefit.

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• MA

  @mayaaaav · 2 months ago

  the part that got me was realizing my journaling every morning wasn't progress, it was a really sophisticated way of avoiding the one conversation i actually needed to have with my sister. all that insight and nothing moved. i remember reading "for those of you who feel invisible" during that period of my life, there's a line in there about how understanding your cage in perfect detail doesn't open the door, your hand on the handle does. i put the notebook down after that and just called her instead of writing another page about calling her. that's the only thing that actually changed anything. we talked for two hours and said things i'd been drafting in journals for months.

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• PR

  @Preetikumarilifecoach · 2 months ago

  Godd!! The kind of relationship you two share- It's dream!! So comforting to even watch.

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• TH

  @thriftEgamrr · 2 months ago

  What really took me from knowing to doing was spending a summer caretaking for the family member whose relationship to me when I was growing up hurt me the most. I spent three months crying, drinking, checking out, and feeling sorry for them as they approached the end of their life in an early and brutal fashion. Looking back at that three-month hell after getting home, I realized with an urgency I'd never felt before that I did NOT want to repeat the same patterns as that family member. I would never want to go through that experience again but boy howdy it gave me the backbone I needed to go from crawling to running.

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• LE

  @leila595 · 2 months ago (edited)

  1 flower doesn't mean it's spring. There is a resistence because you don't trust it will work out next time. You need more times to be sure your choice is respected without a fight. I'm always amazed by Rick's capacity to perfectly describe the full complexity of the process. Wow.

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• MU

  @MuseVault23 · 2 months ago (edited)

  Gosh I wish I could find a therapist or counselor like either one of you. I’ve had several over my teenage and adult years and never had a bad relationship with any of them but also didn’t find them very helpful outside of the IOP classes which helped a lot with coping and growing perspective. I’m still not able to be above my cognitive distortions. I still see them happening, fortune telling, mind reading, catastrophizing and all.  I’m really isolated and I feel really alone and I feel that it robs me of new and better corrective experiences which can help reshape my thought patterns and predictions. It robs me of opportunities to test my predictions. You guys are SOOO good at what you do and really know how to help us understand our minds and the way we were shaped and can continue to shape our inner world. ❤

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• ME

  @mercifulmermaidtarot2630 · 2 months ago

  This was me. I literally told my therapist, there’s nothing more to talk about, I need to start doing something to change, and I know I’m not ready to take action.

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• RA

  @rachelharvey6477 · 2 months ago

  Been listening to this wonderful podcast for quite sometime. Love how over time, both Forest and Rick have really given in to being looser with there approach to sharing themselves. Makes for great listening and viewing. A pleasure to see them together ❤

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• SL

  @slangsd · 2 months ago

  The big breakthrough for me changing from being outcome-oriented to process-oriented. I developed positive reinforcement for how I show up in the moment instead of the external outcome of the moment.

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• MA

  @manideli2662 · 2 months ago

  These two gents are God sent!

• LE

  @leoarnstein9444 · 2 months ago

  It's a great point that even if your prediction comes true, you might learn that the negative outcome wasn't as bad as you expected or that you were able to cope with it. I guess it depends on the fear though - if someone is scared of flying, the goal of exposure is to learn that flying is safe, not that they'll be able to cope in the event of a plane crash.

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• RU

  @rubanmauve · 2 months ago (edited)

  There is something so healing in just seeing you too interact together. Heartwarming. Thank you for your thoughtful works, it is affecting me in beautiful ways.<br>On a more concrete note, I would love more concrete examples in situations that feels like life-threatening situation but that need to happen in everyday life. <br>(Struggling with male authority following SA in the workplace and want to stop avoiding professional spaces with males)

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