Long-distance Relationships (LDRs) of Narcissist, Borderline

Comments · 85

• MA

  @MariePerez-e2l · 2 years ago

  Professor Vakin you have absolutely explained this in such a way that I have searched all over the internet for and every single key point or example is absolutely correct. From the BPD point of view and the NPD point of view it is so unbelievably accurate. What was most impressive was your ability to know exactly what kind of arguments would take place in such a relationship and even how at some point it would become sadistic. Very impressed and very thankful to you for your work. <br><br>If anyone really looks to learn or know about narcissist or BPD or any other disorders , this is the professor to follow and learn from. I highly recommend his books as well.

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• TL

  @tlxxx1596 · 2 years ago

  I’m a BPD in a long distance relationship. Thank you, I’ve been dying to learn about this topic. Right on time Sam, right on time.

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• JE

  @jeanettebarker9519 · 2 years ago (edited)

  This is helpful to understand. My narcissist partner and I were together for 1.5 yrs and then he moved for work. He became incredibly restless. He always needed to be around people. And, within just a few weeks he became very abusive and angry towards me. He kept saying “I need more emotional support” and “you’ve changed.” &nbsp;It was quite bizarre to witness. I had to walk away and block him. It was incredibly painful. This helps me to better understand his behavior.

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• BL

  @blueskiesatx · 1 year ago (edited)

  I’m not BPD, nor with a mental illness, but I had an LDR with someone I finally figured out was NPD. Oddly I’d think to myself at times … I feel like I’m in love with his avatar (which wasn’t him, he didn’t look like his avi at all IRL). <br><br>It was insanely disorienting for me. &nbsp;I wanted the relationship to progress, while he lied, gaslighted, future-faked, back-pedaled then love bombed and hovered. <br><br>He rarely called me by my real name, he called me by my social media handle. I told him &nbsp;it really bothered me so he’d use my real name sometimes. It was like I wasn’t a real human being to him even though we had met in person. Total mind fvck that messed me up badly. <br><br>He once said I was a distraction 😮 yet … I believed the lies and breadcrumbs not the NPD I was actually dealing with.<br><br>Thanks for this valuable insight Sam.

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• HI

  @HighEnd-S · 2 years ago

  I have a huge 8 Years experience with this, when the time was for me to fly back to meet my Histrionic girlfriend, she was excited and then later on she was upset and distant ....it was like flip a coin....

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• OT

  @OtsoSevilla · 2 years ago (edited)

  I wish I knew then what I know now.. I went full blown self sabotage.. &nbsp;Things Ive never done before.. I’ve never Isolated myself for more than a week til this thing happened to me, that If I told my oldself that her future self would Isolate herself for a year my old self would definitely say HELL NO! 😂 I’m sorry but you did! And here we are &nbsp;today after a year and a half ago &nbsp;Prof Sam Vaknin is the &nbsp;only best thing thats ever happend to me

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• VY

  @vy5922 · 2 years ago

  I can&apos;t wait to see one million subscribers here.☺ Thank you for another great video and facts prof. Vaknin.

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• LI

  @lindanicola · 2 years ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW5UA6CDcCE&amp;t=3469">57:49</a> thank you ever so much Prof. Vaknin. Listening to you puts all I went through with a long distance relationship in perspective. Your words are golden. ❤

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• TH

  @thedecayingman101 · 6 months ago

  My ex, who seems to have BPD and NPD traits, almost exclusively did LDRs. We started out as friends, but she was teaching abroad about 4 months into knowing her and we spoke almost every day, turning to every day. She has a BF back home I didn&apos;t know about and she never mentioned until months and months into her being abroad. I don&apos;t think she got &nbsp;with him until a week before she left. Her only other long term partner she lived with, but spent a year of their 2 years together abroad. <br><br>I find it odd, but she was excellent at controlling the relationship despite the distance. When we got together and then she got home, everything was cool for 6/7 months, maybe longer. She moved me into her parents house real fast, too fast for my liking but I was sofa surfing at the time. Then when we moved in together (which I didn&apos;t really wanna do, but as we&apos;d loved together at her parents she was convinced if we didn&apos;t live together we&apos;d have to break up) that&apos;s when I started noticing all the gaslighting, the lies, the crazy making, the constant need for validation, the insecurity, the jealousy etc etc. <br><br>It&apos;s my theory that she knows all this about herself, she knows that eventually she&apos;ll just make selfish decisions and only really care about what you can give her, and this is easier to control in a LDR because there are way less pressures and there is no microscope on your behaviours.

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• DY

  @dylanfrasier4054 · 2 years ago

  This was very helpfull.I am in a fake ldr and i dont know if im mentally ill but it triggers me.Thanks Sam another gem of wisdom.

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• MA

  @mark-931 · 2 years ago

  I still don’t know if I was dealing with NPD or BPD. <br>In the beginning she was incredible when we were together.<br>but when we were apart.. my gosh….<br>I’ve been through hell. Literally. <br>In the end her rage was massive, and she also became exploitative, scheming … a true nightmare

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• RU

  @RuAce22 · 2 years ago (edited)

  Thank you for this. He still is very controlling even tho he is miles away. Somehow, I can&apos;t get away from him or this &quot; relationship&quot;. I block, delete, and no contact, and somehow, he wiggles himself back to me. 5 yrs &nbsp;yea, anxiety, Depression body dismorphic. He does work his majic but at the cost of mental torture. 😢 We play this game called Second Life, and that&apos;s how we meet online, we hug and everything with avatars. So it feels so real as real as it gets. Mr<br> Sam is correct sometimes I feel anxiety and my heart is bursting until I start to talk to him. But now I am ok I no longer feel this after a started to watch narc videos, now idc of this LDR.We just cant be without each other. Lonelines used to each other?

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