The Psychology Behind the Avoidant Discard

Comments · 142

• JA

  @jayjohnson4352 · 1 month ago

  This should be taught in high school! Not that anyone would pay attention at that age. Hollywood definitely doesn’t help by making every character in every movie turn out just fine in the end and live happily ever after.

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• ST

  @StevenSampsonMedia · 1 month ago

  Fascinating. Disturbing. Sad.

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• OR

  @Oregongirly90 · 1 month ago

  I am going through the second discard by the same avoidant. This time feels more final but just as painful. Everything this video is saying is true; it feel euphoric when they come back because you think a lesson has been learned. But take it from me, as I watch these videos nightly to help my broken heart understand it, the second discard feels visceral.

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• IR

  @irinalopatina2325 · 1 month ago

  It’s just crazy how their twisted mind ruins everything good.

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• DE

  @Deb-w5r · 1 month ago

  It was hopeless from day dot.  If only I knew all this stuff 7 years ago.

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• LA

  @lauragough1174 · 1 month ago

  I've only had the displeasure of one, all the way back in 1987 (short version-strung me along for 2 years, discarded over the phone, told me he was already messing around with 2 women and thought I'd still let him come around.  Nope.).  It can affect you for a very long time.  Made me leery of anyone and would exit the budding relationship for no real reason.  7 years later, at a Halloween party, I met the man who decided after our second date I was his forever person.  Told him all about the avoidant experience and how it affected me.  No problem, he waited 4 years for me to secure enough to get married.  Together a few months shy of 30 years when he passed away in 2024.  About 9 months ago started thinking about casually dating, watching videos on dating for seniors, widows, over 60, etc.  I hadn't thought about 'him' for a very long time, but the prospect of dating again revived that experience as a warning.  Youtube recommended a video on dating after discard.  Death is the ultimate discard.  That was my introduction to attachment theory, that channel is run by a lady with a Doctorate in Psychology.  I'm not going to put her name here out of respect for Coach.  Watched a bunch of her videos and learned a lot, then branched out to other channels, that's how I ended up here.  Coach knows what he's talking about.

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• CA

  @carriehill2259 · 1 month ago

  This is a perfect talk of understanding this .

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• DI

  @divinereflections5657 · 1 month ago

  The dead eyes is very real‼️ I kept looking in his eyes trying to figure out what I was seeing to me it looked DARK and demonic ….he became VERY SELFISH…I saw it coming and so I walked away…✌🏽🚶🏽‍♂️

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• CA

  @Carrielynn788 · 1 month ago

  The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy. <br>This man stole my joy, killed my heart and destroyed my spirit.

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• LA

  @lanaivanovic5272 · 1 month ago

  Thank you, Coach Ryan, for these deep insights, that ring true to our exhausted hearts.🙏🙏

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• ME

  @meeecchhiii · 13 days ago

  I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge your excellent attention to detail. Your insights are especially valuable in this situation, particularly regarding the victim&apos;s perspective. You accurately highlighted specific behaviors and thought patterns, such as their convincing themselves &nbsp;we are not suited for them, their preference to remain in a toxic cycle rather than pursue healing, their disinterest in intimacy, and the dynamics following a trip. I found your observations to be very insightful and well-articulated, which helped reinforce the understanding that we are not the cause of these issues. ❤ thank you

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• SA

  @sanjeevgyawali8624 · 8 days ago

  Ryan- you are bang on right about Accountability. They don&apos;t want to take any accountability, whatsoever. Difficult to discuss future plans, even normal discussions are painful to them. Hyper sensitive about criticism. They believe, they are super perfect without any flaws in them. Asking validation all the time. Zero consideration for partner.