The Polyamory Problem: Why Do People In Open Relationships Always Look Like That?

Comments · 2.5K

• RE

  @RealAndrewBriggs · 9 months ago · pinned

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• 13

  @13zaphikel · 9 months ago (edited)

  9 years ago my husband got hit by a truck while riding his bicycle and had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. My sexual needs and how long it might be before we were intimate again didn&apos;t even cross my mind! I was 29 and he was 32 so it&apos;s not like we didn&apos;t have plenty of sexual drive at the time that it happened. That just was not a priority at all! The only thing I cared about was whether he was going to be OK or not and I stayed in the hospital with him the entire time and helped him eat and drink. &nbsp; I could understand trying to come up with a long term solution if there was a long term problem in a relationship with one person having a much higher libido than the other at all times, but putting your sexual desires above your partner&apos;s well being during a temporary time of crisis just sounds selfish and unforgivable to me.<br><br>Edit: Note that I didn&apos;t say monogamy was a requirement to having this level of care for your partner(s). I fully believe the poly people who commented that they agree that they wouldn&apos;t just ditch one of their partners in crisis to go get laid.

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• MA

  @markmiddleton9802 · 9 months ago

  Mom was right… it really was that damn phone huh

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• IC

  @icedodin5806 · 9 months ago

  The point i took from your video was that because polygamy is a counter culture they are much more likely to be a part of other counter cultures. Which leads them to looking like that

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• OL

  @oliviaa_clairee · 9 months ago

  This all sounds exhausting, as well. I don’t think I could meet someone’s needs if I were juggling more than one relationship.

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• SC

  @scrumpyminklemonk · 9 months ago

  I think a lot of people try poly/ open relationships for the wrong reasons. You know like those people who want out of their current relationship so they pressure to open the relationship to find a new partner because they&apos;re afraid to be single for a while and need someone to do the cooking, cleaning and rooting. <br><br>Although I&apos;m always howling when a man tries to open the relationship and their gf they pressured gets all the attention while they&apos;re on their own.

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• DD

  @ddhallway4752 · 9 months ago

  2 hour long video essay and the guy has a video essay voice let’s go

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• IS

  @isa-r3j · 9 months ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRzbOFDvjaE&amp;t=4137">1:08:57</a> that sounds like literal hell for that woman, I guess because they’re your friends you’re presenting this as “sometimes this can work,” but oh my god. <br><br>I can’t imagine wanting to have sex but being physically unable to due to pain, and having to allow my boyfriend, who I love and want to experience sex with, go have sex with other women so that he doesn’t leave me. <br><br>That is hell. That poor girl.

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• CH

  @chambers0240 · 9 months ago

  As a mono person who is far too jealous to ever consider poly, I want to add something. There is the Ache tribe in South America that developed an interesting culture. Children there have multiple “fathers.” When a woman gets pregnant, she can consider all the men she slept with around that time as the father and it’s kind of like an insurance policy in case one “father” dies she has support from another “father.”<br><br>Human mating patterns aren’t necessarily pair bonded monogamy. An interesting trend is that human mating patterns follow bird mating patterns. If you see an area of the world with primarily monogamous pair bonded birds, humans are more likely to be monogamous in that region.

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• AR

  @Arnelle_Art · 6 months ago

  It’s weaponizing therapy speech and spiritualism for selfish individualism. I’m not knocking the “I put me first crowd” but that’s historically not how community is built. I dated a poly guy as a mono person (I just liked him; turns out i was inadvertently using him as a substitute for my college crush). But I remember him saying things like relationships didn’t require work, they should just flow. Every conversation was about him prioritizing himself and his needs. It was daunting since I’m very community oriented by default. I even comforted him and the girl he’d cheated with bc of their hurt feelings of hurting me. (He wasn’t good at polyamory).

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• BA

  @BaconPizzaWaffles · 8 months ago

  This idea that jealousy is a universal evil, and that you should always ignore it, is such an insidious subversion. Jealousy is no different than anger. There are times when it&apos;s appropriate to be angry. If you have well-founded reasons to believe your woman is being unfaithful to you, that feeling of jealousy is warranted. You&apos;re supposed to be jealous over your wife or husband.

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• JO

  @jordanelizabeth8668 · 9 months ago

  Also to comment on the bored aspect- I think boredom is healthy, the lack of boredom in polyamory is not because it’s so fun. Drama definitely keeps boredom away, but isn’t a better alternative

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