The Real Reason You Can’t Let Go of Your Avoidant Ex

Comments · 32

• SA

  @sarahchristinehypnosis · 1 month ago · pinned

  If you could go back in time and change it, would you rather have both met the avoidant, or are you glad you did? What did you learn about yourself and love?

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• KR

  @krasnoz6 · 1 month ago

  Sarah, you’re so smart. You’re addressing something I haven’t heard anyone else talk about. All of the videos out there on avoidant attachment focus on them. It’s important to understand their patterns but more important to understand ourselves!<br><br>You’re saying what I’ve come to realize: that the problem is me for not only being attracted to emotionally unavailable people but for allowing them to have such a grip on me. <br><br>I had my heart broken a long time ago by an avoidant so I jumped into another relationship with someone emotionally unavailable but who felt safer and married him. It was a mistake and that is a very difficult realization after all these years and I’m paying the price for it. I don’t hear anyone else talk about why we’re attracted to these people in the first place. It’s so important and helpful.

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• GA

  @Gab-123-u7i · 1 month ago (edited)

  I realize I’m finally healed from my pattern of being attracted to DM or not emotionally available people<br>I ve been turn off the last year by this type of men on the dating app so I could walk away from their intermittent lovebombing and met (I’m pretty sure) this emotionally available man in my life now for more than 3 months

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• EU

  @eugenemtk5789 · 1 month ago

  They don’t even know why. They’re not that deep. That says it all.

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• MA

  @matthewdaviesmattdaviessct147 · 1 month ago

  I have watched (literally) hundreds of videos on this exact topic (the DA discard and its effect on the discarded person - usually someone with an anxious-leaning attachment style), but this video, and your previous one, has articulated the REALLY significant reasons why it can be so hard to let go. You have framed the problem - and the solution - with such precision and uncomfortable insight. I hope that these videos will be the catalyst that helps me turn the corner and see the truth that my subconscious has been hiding from me for too long. <br> Thank you Sarah for your excellent psychological insight.

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• MA

  @mandolinwind · 1 month ago

  This is excellent, &nbsp;TY. Continuous healing ! 💐😇

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• JJ

  @jjh541 · 1 month ago (edited)

  After your FIRST avoidant experience, who finds themselves finding them or being attracted to them in subsequent relationships? I ain&apos;t no Masochist.<br><br>She was put in my life to teach me a life lesson and I was put in hers to teach her about who she is. Was unbelievable the amount of puzzle pieces she left me to put together only after the fact. <br><br>I was her mirror for her to see herself in a way she admitted to me she couldn&apos;t ever see a week before she blocked me for what was like the 5th time in a month at that point. What she said was clear cut her telling me she&apos;s an avoidant without actually telling me she&apos;s an avoidant. I&apos;m sure she still doesn&apos;t realize that she is one but I do and that&apos;s good enough for me. I&apos;d be lying if I said I don&apos;t still ruminate 4 months on but with any loss, with time it just fades.

• JO

  @JosephStealin_Official · 1 month ago (edited)

  She finally left a few days ago. Left while i was at work and took my dog too. That was the thanks i got for tolerating my DA for 29 years.

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• DR

  @DreamingCatStudio · 1 month ago

  This occurred to me before…greatly helpful.

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• GE

  @Gearhead1956 · 1 month ago (edited)

  Epic content ; nothing but &nbsp;crickets &nbsp;&amp; breadcrumbs from the avoidant. Shalom

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• HO

  @HotRodHarley06 · 1 month ago

  I&apos;m sorry for your loss 😥

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• GI

  @giselleng5425 · 1 month ago

  Finally. Yes. I don’t want to keep hearing about the avoidant. I want help in addressing why I let it happen. This isn’t about them anymore. It’s about me. How do I actually stop this cycle?

  1