Unmasking After Late Autism Diagnosis - Embracing Authenticity

Comments · 938

• MI

  @midnightorchid9731 · 3 years ago

  I was diagnosed last week with ASD after already being diagnosed year's ago with ADHD. On May 25, at 45 I got an Autism diagnoses. My brain decided it was done masking on it's own after another stupid/traumatic life event, and at 43 could not mask in certain areas anymore. The CBT training class settings I grew up in seemed to just be forgotten d things got harder. I was trained as a child to act "normal". Life is harder, and now lonelier. My family and friends gave up on me long ago. And my symptoms do nothing but get me in trouble. I watch these videos to be less alone, and appreciate them. Thank you for your strength.

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• RO

  @ronniecorbett6306 · 3 years ago (edited)

  Most people think saying "I am Autistic" is fishing for an excuse for being odd. Telling them that you are (To me) is impossible. Im 55yrs, it feels like a wasted life.

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• CR

  @crystalratclffe3258 · 3 years ago

  When masking makes you compliant and a people pleaser, people will complain that they liked you before you unmasked because you were easier to be used and manipulated for others wants and desires even if they are unaware they were doing it

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• KA

  @katielangsner495 · 3 years ago

  Even as kids many of us autistic folks found ourselves 'responsible' for the responses and emotional well-being of the people who should have known us but weren't (Still aren't?) responsible to know themselves. And too often we neglected ourselves to fit in and care for others.

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• KR

  @kristenverne4944 · 3 years ago

  I’m literally sitting here with sensory overload. I’m a teacher, and I try to be vulnerable with my students. They know that “sounds and light hurt me”, so they are aware and are very understanding. And I’m grateful for a boss and many coworkers who are accepting and helpful when I’m struggling, and we’re very supportive in my journey of unmasking and getting diagnosed.<br><br>One thing I noticed after I stopped masking was my temper got shorter. When I was masking, I literally internalized all negative emotions and went and exploded at home. Now that I’m allowing myself to experience emotions in real time, I’m having to learn to regulate it in a way I haven’t before.

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• LY

  @LynnieLovesJinyoung · 3 years ago (edited)

  When I unmask people tell me they prefer my masked self and I should go back to &quot;Normal&quot;. My masked personality is goofy and funny... So when I unmask people leave me

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• WI

  @WizardKitty723 · 3 years ago

  Figured out I was autistic last year at 50 after burnout and long Covid took my ability to mask. I drop things for no reason, have trouble speaking, understanding people and making eye contact, and sensory sensitivity is cranked up. I didn’t understand what was going on. All of a sudden I was autistic (and at first I didn’t realize all my stuff was autism). Luckily one of my lifelong special interests had been psychology (in a desire to understand myself and others) and I figured it out. It was shocking, but explained everything. <br> &nbsp; &nbsp; There was a grieving period, but ultimately self-acceptance and self-understanding allowed myself to forgive all my perceived shortcomings (I just can’t human like other humans). I’m not a bad person. I’m autistic and adhd. I’m different. <br> &nbsp; &nbsp; Clearing out all the judgments created space for joy to come back into my life. Luckily, I’m in a place where I have time and space to just be and discover. Having this diagnosis changed everything. I no longer see myself as a failure, someone who had so much potential but wasted it. I have a disability that makes some things a lot more difficult for me. But it also gives me superpowers of creativity, focus, empathy, honor, and joy

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• NE

  @neiladlerart2493 · 3 years ago

  When I started setting boundaries my roommate said that I’d changed. That I didn’t used to be like this. My roommate clearly took offense and called my boundaries ridiculous. Unmasking and standing up for yourself can be very difficult. I receive a good deal of resistance from some people when I drop my mask. Despite that resistance unmasking is totally worth it.

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• PA

  @pamlindquist2861 · 3 years ago

  That comment about masking being an attempt to be unseen, that invisibility I struggled with for decades. There is much that I want to say, but words.... &nbsp; So THANK YOU

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• LU

  @lulumoon6942 · 3 years ago

  Getting a diagnosis as even a young woman would have given me the permission I needed to be myself! The masking for survival crushed me for decades. 😮‍💨

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• BR

  @brickellvoss7739 · 3 years ago

  Workplace rejection is the worst for me. Because I make sure I&apos;m not doing anything INTENTIONAL to upset people. Went so far as to read a lot of books to help myself communicate better with others. Focus on I statements. Don&apos;t&apos; accuse people of things. Don&apos;t use negative adjectives to describe people. But you know speaking bluntly and straight forward seems to be the right idea in my head. But I&apos;ve learned or come to understand that NT people tend to lie... A LOT. So they see our blunt/forward comments as some sort of manipulation, since so many NTs have issues just being blunt and honest up front. And then when an NT does get upset... its usually over some weird thing they perceived you said X so you MUST mean Y. All while not taking into account that NONE of my past actions would even suggest that is true, nothing I&apos;ve said even come close to that wild accusation. Then I&apos;d get in trouble for how someone is FEELING about me... and because they can&apos;t deal with their own feeling some how that is my fault and I should change to make them feel better? Biggest insult/slap in the face... I already do so much to make others comfortable, I&apos;ve always stood my ground when I know I haven&apos;t done anything wrong. And will not change myself to make another&apos;s internal feelings better, that is their responsibility to change their personal beliefs to stop getting hurt over minor things that are not even pointed at them. But because I&apos;m weird/odd/strange/not normal some how your feelings are my responsibility? LOL no, that&apos;s gaslighting and manipulation right there. <br><br>I don&apos;t think NT people as a whole are a problem. The types of NT who I think cause the biggest problems are those that believe people as a whole should behave a certain way. Those types of people who generally see things in black and white/all or nothing thinking. Those who do not value uniqueness. Those that believe society has a set of rules everyone should abide by. Those that think the only tools they will ever need is a hammer and a screw driver... You know the ones... if they can&apos;t see something physically wrong with you then they think you should be normal. This type of person is the problem. They cannot accept differences. Closed minded people who also think their intuition/gut feelings are right and don&apos;t bother to investigate. At 25 they thought they had everything figured out and don&apos;t challenge their world view.

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• CA

  @cathrynelaine1724 · 3 years ago

  It’s so very difficult. Learning more about myself, and WHY I’ve always been the most misunderstood person that my friends and I have ever known, has been painfully eye-opening. I’ve recently learned of a couple social cues that I hadn’t known about, and realized how so many people in my past must’ve thought I was a selfish snob. I’ve &nbsp;broken down into tears a lot lately. <br><br>Thank you for this video.

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