Warum sich die 'FALSCHE Person' oft so verdammt richtig anfühlt

Chris Bloom, systemic therapist and author, explores attachment patterns, fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, and the question of why we are often drawn to people who do not give us a real sense of security. Why can the “wrong person” sometimes feel so incredibly right? And why do we so easily mistake tension and constant emotional ups and downs for genuine attraction? Chris explains why, when choosing a partner, we do not automatically choose what is good for us, but often what feels familiar to our nervous system. Earlier attachment experiences can influence who we are attracted to, why calmness in dating can suddenly feel boring, and why old relationship patterns keep repeating themselves. In this episode, we talk about: Why we keep falling for similar people despite knowing what we want What lies behind fear of abandonment and fear of commitment Why an insecure partner can suddenly trigger intense fear of abandonment Why withdrawal, uncertainty, and drama can feel like intense attraction Why Chris now compares healthy love more to a campfire than to fireworks How love bombing and rapid emotional intensity can affect our perception What dating apps, ghosting, and constant choice do to relationships How we can learn to build a stronger sense of security within ourselves Chapters 00:00:00 – Intro 00:02:31 – Ideal Partner: Why We Often Choose Something Different From What We Want 00:06:03 – The Nervous System: Why Familiar Does Not Always Mean Safe 00:11:35 – Attachment Styles: Fear of Abandonment, Fear of Commitment and Secure Attachment 00:18:07 – How Your Partner Can Influence Your Attachment Patterns 00:23:36 – Fear of Abandonment: Overthinking, Closeness and Emotional Dependency 00:30:27 – Ghosting and Withdrawal as Relationship Patterns 00:38:40 – Chris on His Own Relationship Patterns 00:49:19 – Fireworks or Campfire: Why Calm Can Feel Like Boredom 01:00:24 – Healthy Dating: Why Taking Things Slowly Matters 01:04:13 – Dating Apps, Ghosting and Dating Fatigue 01:17:42 – Freedom, Commitment and the Fear of Attachment 01:22:08 – Breakups, Letting Go and Inner Security 01:24:59 – Safe Space: How to Find Security Within Yourself 01:32:14 – The Final Question for Chris Bloom Follow Chris: Free live webinar on October 3 & 4: Stop fearing that you’re not enough for love. Chris Bloom shows you how to become secure in your relationships. Sign up now: https://bit.ly/4xKmO9T Free Relationship Type Test: https://bit.ly/47c1sY4 Book “Dein Safe Space: Wie du den Ort in dir kreierst, der hält – egal, was kommt” (available from October 21): https://bit.ly/46Hy8Zk More from the podcast and me: YouTube: https://bit.ly/4sXRnaZ Spotify: https://bit.ly/4jVYBbg Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4q3BaOT Tour: https://bit.ly/4tPLv37 Coaching: https://bit.ly/4dQhaNd Sign up for the roundtable discussion: https://bit.ly/45YekAH Advertising partner BetterHelp: Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month with my code “Mindseed”: https://www.betterhelp.com/mindseed Support the Mindseed Podcast voluntarily: You can support us with a small monthly contribution and help us produce our content more independently from external sponsors: https://bit.ly/4vuq5K0 If you would like to cancel your support, you can do so here: https://bit.ly/4gDuwxy Or simply send us an email at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) :) My goal is to provide you with knowledge and food for thought that can help you actively create change in your life. *Note: Affiliate link. If you make a purchase through this link, you support my channel at no extra cost to you.