After Autistic Burnout, You’re Not the Same Person

Comments · 474

• AL

  @Alex-fy7df · 1 month ago · pinned

  The reality is that everybody around is masking.

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• IA

  @iamafairyqueen · 7 months ago (edited)

  Had a collapse in 2022 at 45 and could no longer work, skill regression rendered me unable to do my job or even make my own breakfast. It was taking me hours to make two pieces of toast in the early days. No doctors believed me. Everything I’d built fell apart and then the diagnosis came and my own family were so disgusted they disappeared too. I couldn’t mask anymore and my unmasked self is the opposite of who I was pretending to be. I couldn’t hide it anymore. My whole life has changed since then. The more I’ve embraced who I am, the less interest I have in participating in the world. I’m very reclusive now. No friends or family, on disability support. My baseline is so minimal. I was a world traveller and a nurse. Now revolve my life around looking after my meat suit and napping. 4 years on and I’m only now starting to consider engaging in things I genuinely like. It took forever to accept my interests. I like ecology, learning about bugs, weather, birds. I think nursing was all part of my people pleasing and trying to be needed by others so I wouldn’t be alone or rejected. Now I’m realising I was trying to please all the wrong people. It’s such a mess to work through. If it’s been years and you’re wondering why you’re still in burnout, just know it’s okay.

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• SA

  @sardonicus420 · 7 months ago

  It’s so strange reading the comments from people that are just like me because I feel like I’m isolated in a different dimension.

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• BU

  @BulbasaurLeaves · 5 months ago

  I never tried to be normal. Instead, I tried to be so competent, prepared, and self-sufficient that I wouldn’t need to be normal. It… wasn’t enough. It was never enough. No matter what I did, I’d still hear, “be more of a team player,” “just hire a stranger in your home,” and, “we don’t do that online; you have to make a phone call.” It felt like no one in the world could comprehend that those things HURT me!

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• ME

  @MelodieRenais · 1 month ago

  What I am grieving is the self I was never allowed to be.

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• MS

  @mstintit · 4 months ago

  “The mask didn’t hide autism, it hid you.” 💔 6 years of burnout. Every relationship affected. Friends, family. All the people I helped and supported, for years, just gone. Not interested now I’m unable to do things for them. The burnout is hard every day, but the grief is crippling.

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• JE

  @JenniferMuir-g2y · 2 months ago

  Worked in finance for 30 years before my first collapse at age 48, diagnosed with complex ptsd, depression and anxiety. 12 mths later I forced myself to get back to normal, a little over 8 months later the second collapse, this one felt much worse, I never returned to work and I have no idea who I am or was anymore. I’m 55 now and in the last year have been diagnosed Audhd which felt so much kinder to me. I have turned my whole fake and forced life inside out trying to understand what’s wrong with me but have found my true self at home, with my two pups and an intense interest for gardening. I don’t know how to separate complex childhood trauma, autism or ADHD but I have found my new life brings me more peace than I can remember ever having. Thank you for your content ❤

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• MI

  @MisantropicGoon · 1 month ago

  "Being yourself wasn't safe". Fuck......didnt expect to get suckerpunched by this beautiful yet tragic statement

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• E2

  @E2023M · 5 months ago

  Great video, thanks. When I ended up in burnout / depression a friend gave me the best advice, ever: your life clearly isn’t working for you. Find out what your needs are and build your life around them. A couple of years later I still can’t believe how far I have come.

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• TH

  @TheWilliamHoganExperience · 7 months ago

  I was diagnosed 4 years ago at age 57. This video sums up my experience.<br><br>I still don&apos;t know who I am. <br>I still don&apos;t know how to make friends without hiding <br>I still don&apos;t know where the line is between harmful masking and appropriate social restraint <br>I still feel utterly disconnected / disassociated in social settings <br>I still feel like people connect with the mask, not me <br>I still feel like the real me isn&apos;t likeable <br>I still feel too emotional <br>I still feel too traumatized <br>I still feel too needy <br>I still feel too disabled <br>I still need to disassociate to come across as normal <br>I still have no idea how to build relationships with others without masking <br>I still struggle with how absurdly hard basic tasks are sometimes <br>I still haven&apos;t found autism specific help outside of YouTube <br>I still haven&apos;t found much if any support, understanding or acceptance from friends, family or medical professionals <br> <br>...but I&apos;m no longer confused as to WHY...<br><br>=) <br> <br>Therefore: <br> <br>I no longer feel so lost<br>I no longer feel so alone <br>I no longer think I&apos;m broken <br>I no longer shame myself <br>I no longer want my life to end <br>I no longer suffer from unrelenting anxiety <br>I no longer struggle with dark, intrusive thoughts <br> <br>As a result: <br> <br>I now set firm boundaries with others without guilt or shame <br>I now disclose my autism and try to educate others about it - in most circumstances. <br>I now listen to my mind and body carefully and trust what they tell me. <br>I now protect my senses from assault and indulge them with positive stimuli as much as possible. <br>I now pursue my interests wherever they lead me and as fully as possible without judgement <br>I now insist that everyone in my life accept me as I am - not as they want me to be <br>I now understand that most people can&apos;t understand me or the world I inhabit <br>I now know better than to try to make people like me by hiding behind a mask <br>I now avoid unstructured social settings with multiple allistic people as much as possible <br> <br>I now spend a lot of time alone. Voluntarily. With joy rather than shame <br> <br>I suspect this will continue for the rest of my life. I feel like an autistic shaman. An ascetic monk. A hermit with a profound mission. I read and research and play and perform music. I travel alone with my truck and camper to ski and commune with nature. I live in my music studio. I&apos;m fortunate to have been able to work into my late 40s as an architect and professor, earning a small public pension and enough social security benefits to survive. I no longer need to work for other people - which is good - because I&apos;m disabled. Not by autism, but by a lack of understanding acceptance and support for it. I am poor from an income standpoint, but rich beyond measure in freedom, autonomy, and now, self understanding, compassion, and acceptance. <br> <br>To those of you on the same journey, don&apos;t give up. The further out I find myself from my diagnosis, the better things get. It just take time. Years in my case. Try to take it one day at a time. <br> <br>Good luck! =)

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• ST

  @stevewhite9854 · 1 month ago

  Recently diagnosed with AuDHD at almost 74 years of age. 4+ years of being a widower and losing the person who connected me to the world. The reframing of my past has reduced guilt by transforming it into regret. The &quot;me&quot; I thought I was is gone, but I have neither time nor energy to discover or invent who I am now. And so I simply feel like a cipher. A sad cipher. A practical joke played by the universe. That doesn&apos;t mean I&apos;m not making an effort. But so far no progress and, truthfully, in my case I don&apos;t expect there will be.

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• ME

  @MegaSilent · 7 months ago

  &quot;It&apos;s when you no longer have the energy to hold it (the mask) in place.&quot; I paused the video and had to do a little walk around the room after hearing that. Hoo boy that hit the nail on the head.

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