Polyamory: The Details You Never Thought To Ask

Comments · 235

• AN

  @anna-mariewoodcock9086 · 2 years ago

  It certainly looks like polyamory is good for your skin cos y'all are GLOWING

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• KR

  @Krista-388 · 2 years ago

  I love how you all simply acknowledge that you fucked up and how you've worked to repair that hurt with such grace! I admire that, in a world where many people have a hard time admitting a wrong. including myself many times.

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• MA

  @mackenziemelendy1740 · 5 months ago

  Old video but wanted to say: pair bonding (exclusive life partners) and institutional monogamy (rooted in patrilineal inheritance/private property) are not identical, yet it seems poly discourse often treats them as if they are. This frequently leads to an assumption that rejecting exclusivity itself is more politically and spiritually liberatory than not (I know that’s not the claim made here necessarily, but it does seem to be a common perspective and premise of polyamory in practice). Any relationship—regardless of its shape/participants—requires sound analysis of the violence inherent in our material conditions and a devotion to personal/shared growth in order to build something truly reciprocal, empowering, and enlightening. More participants equals more variables/dynamics to manage, which understandably may lead to certain types of burnout and/or increased risk points for instability, as opposed to pair bonding, which is more of a “closed system” per se that invites fewer unknown/potentially destabilizing variables into the relationship system. At the same time, those in paired relationships are typically strongly affected by the western/liberal mythologies and expectations of bourgeois romantic love within class society—a context that is imbued with much violence—and trying to fulfill obligations and needs that historically “take a village” to meet. At the end of the day, community, solidarity, mutual aid etc. (which are not only found in polyamorous spaces, despite what some commenters suggest) is vital to human flourishing.

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• DA

  @DaoNguyen-vp7ki · 2 years ago

  straight dude here from austin. Learning tons of useful relationship ideas from this conversation. much appreciation.

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• LR

  @LRBearable · 2 years ago (edited)

  This is my truth, and I 100% respect that it is not y&apos;alls... More than half the time polyamory feels like a cancer in my relationship. It may just not be for me, but it seems like its for my partner. And I want my partner to live their fullest life, but also we committed to being life-long partners and poly does fuck with that.<br><br>Part of me feels like all the work I&apos;m doing around my jealousy is a kind of gaslighting, where I try to convince myself that all I need is to get that golden secure attachment and everything will be &quot;back to normal.&quot; And frankly, there is just more I want to do with my life than agonize over whether or not I&apos;m securely attached to the love of my life as they fall in love with other people, spending thousands of dollars on therapy and hundreds and hundreds of hours talking and processing. <br><br>The sex is fun. The sex is amazing. And sex is so important. But even more important to me is living an erotically charged life where I can channel that erotic energy into my creativity, justice, community. And honestly polyamory is such a mind fuck that I am spending most of my time in never ending spirals with my loving partner. And all the relational navel gazing feels, to me, solipsistic, especially when I remember what&apos;s happening in gaza or that I might be on this planet for other reason than figuring out how to have romantic partnerships with multiple people. &nbsp;<br><br>Finally, I&apos;ll say: it would be easier, I think, if I knew of more couples who have been poly for decades, but the vast majority of poly couples I meet haven&apos;t been. And I get that&apos;s because of the stigma, and older generations haven&apos;t been able to come out in the way ours has but it would be nice to have more elders.<br><br>This is my truth. I know other people may feel differently, and I completely love and respect that.

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• AE

  @aesopfablesandproductions · 2 years ago

  I was hoping if I rewatched the last ep enough times yall might come thru, AND YOU DID ;)

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• BR

  @Broken-Sovereign · 2 years ago (edited)

  Me and my wife of 16 years just had this conversation. A year ago she expressed interest in being with a woman, which I was totally fine with. I just want her to be happy. Now, after having thought about it for this entire year since and not having found someone for herself because she didn&apos;t feel it was fair to me to go out without allowing me to as well, she wants to open the relationship entirely. I&apos;m so happy that during this conversation we naturally hit on 90% of these points and it&apos;s looking like a bright journey for us, even though it&apos;s certainly scaring me currently, and there &nbsp;is so much to consider.

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• AS

  @aspiringsiren · 2 years ago

  I&apos;m so happy you had Yaz back!!! This was so lovely🪷Also...adore the mic quality and you all&apos;s voices its like asmr🥰

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• PI

  @pipsplace9072 · 2 years ago

  Another great episode! I love the emphasis placed on how no matter what type of relationship you&apos;re in, communicating needs, thinking about what you want, all this stuff can only help you be closer and strengthen the relationship. Really interesting questions and conversation!

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• AN

  @annoyingfandragon · 1 year ago (edited)

  I’m in a hierarchical poly relationship and i just feel like people don’t understand that hierarchy doesn’t equal rules and control. We dont put rules on each other’s relationships, we dont try to control each other, it is always up to the people directly involved in each relationship to decide how serious it is and how important it is to them. A relationship starting out lower on the “hierarchy” doesn’t mean it cant move up and doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value on its own even if it stays where it is. Sometimes we just have casual relationships and it would feel wrong to put that on the same level as someone we’ve been heavily committed to for years. Again, casual relationships can evolve into something more, but they don’t always start on an equal level and sometimes they can just stay casual when thats what we want from that relationship.<br><br>I just feel like non hierarchical polyam ppl always only talk about the bad things that <b>sometimes</b> exist in hierarchical relationships. Veto power is really weird to me and has never been a part of any of my relationships, and yet its the first thing non hierarchical ppl think of.

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• XT

  @xTraexEdge · 2 years ago

  Personally, while I find these conversations fascinating (I am firmly on the opposite side of the fence). I feel like there&apos;s often no room for someone to say that they just, don&apos;t want this. Dressed up in a lot of progressive language and therapy for sure but even with love of partner and more communication sometimes something is just not for you. That has to be okay.

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• DE

  @deep_indi · 2 years ago

  I&apos;ve only watched the first session with Yaz and now this one. Karbon feels like they&apos;ve become a more awesomve version of themselves; I&apos;m loving the energy 🤩

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