10 Signs You Might Have An Avoidant Attachment Style

Comments · 2.1K

• TO

  @toddedwards4125 · 3 years ago

  You summarized my 53 years in 20 min.  I had no idea who I even was.  Thank you

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• SU

  @Susans_Watching · 1 year ago

  I was 8 years old when I called my mom and told her I wasn’t feeling good. She said, “What do you want me to do? Im at work.” 🤦🏻‍♀️😭 50 years later, I remember it like it was yesterday.

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• DA

  @DallaS.88 · 2 years ago (edited)

  It's difficult to have an avoidant attachment style along with depression. It's having all of the personal expectation and responsibilty on a self individual basis but not having the motivation to take action and an unwillingness to seek help from others. It's a vicious cycle

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• CA

  @caliblu3872 · 2 years ago

  My mother told me that my father suggested that babies should be left to cry to learn how to self soothe. I wasn't comforted as a child.  My mother said, when I was taken to preschool, I didn't care if my parents were there or not.  As an adult, my four year long relationship came to an abrupt end when I had a panic attack when my boyfriend asked me to move in then I ended the relationship. Who knew this all started because I needed a hug as a baby.

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• MK

  @Mkr7942 · 2 years ago

  This has been more helpful for me than, say , years of therapy would have been, to uncover my core. Thank you from the bottom of my ❤.

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• TH

  @The_Burning_Sensation · 3 years ago (edited)

  I'm a fifty year old man I feel like I've just listened to someone summarize my life, point by point. I've always just considered all of these things the default way of being a person. It's kind of a revelation to me that, apparently, they are not.

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• TE

  @tentimes2660 · 3 years ago

  So many shots fired at me, and every single one hit.<br><br>I was aware I was a dismissive avoidant, but listening to this brought me a whole new level of understanding... and comfort.<br><br>Someone understands we are not villains.

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• AL

  @AlbertsTails · 2 years ago

  Damn... that one sign of being reliable practically but not emotionally made me remember the time when one of my friends were crying because of schoolworks but I&apos;m just giving her practical ways on how she could solve it. I have no idea how to comfort emotionally and thinking how to comfort them emotionally is very intense and mind numbing

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• HO

  @howabouthat8606 · 2 years ago

  I saw my whole life play out while you were speaking. I didn&apos;t start out being avoidant - no child does - it just became the safest space for me so thank you for saying we&apos;re not villains.

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• IT

  @ItstheGodinme_ · 2 years ago

  Wow..Spot on. Re #10, I’ve always struggled with begging; not because of pride but because I see it as me sparing the person I’d be asking the inconvenience and awkwardness of having to tend to my request. I figure it’s better to do it myself.

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• NA

  @NadaAlawadhi · 4 years ago

  Thank you for addressing the villainization of us avoidants. It’s always us who are cold, inattentive and hurt everyone.

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• MO

  @Monicalia · 3 years ago

  &apos;&apos;When you&apos;re feeling hurt you tend to withdraw rather than reach-out to others for repair&apos;&apos; <br>Yesterday I talked to my therapist about it and I realized that ever since I was a kid, if I was hurt, I&apos;d never talk about it because I was too afraid to &apos;&apos;ruin the mood&apos;&apos;. I was scared of making people uncomfortable, angry, I was afraid they&apos;d accuse me of &apos;&apos;ruining the mood&apos;&apos; or &apos;&apos;killing the vibe&apos;&apos;, because everyone was in such good moods and I ruined everything with my stupid problems. It&apos;s exhausting because it&apos;s such a strong, solid mental block that I can&apos;t get through it.

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