Swedish Death Cleaning: Just 2 questions to ask yourself

Comments · 1.4K

• TH

  @TheMinimalMom · 4 years ago · pinned

  Thank you so much for watching! I know this stuff isn’t always easy, but hope this helps a little ❤️ (And thank you mom for storing our stuff for so long! 😉) Hope you have a great day! Dawn

  295

• CR

  @crystalrumbell8763 · 4 years ago

  From a band director: Please consider donating the instruments to your local middle school or high school band program. 🙂 Most programs are run on a shoestring budget, and a donated instrument may be an opportunity for a student to play who cannot afford an instrument otherwise. As always, thank you for the thoughtful content! 💛

  1.1K

• AL

  @alexa5927 · 4 years ago (edited)

  My grandmother had a silver bracelet with semi-precious stones that I remember admiring when I was a kid. I would often touch it as she was wearing it when I was young. After she died, my aunts and cousins were going through her jewellery and I spotted it. We were all taking pieces that meant something to us, so I asked if anyone would mind if I took it. No one else remembered it, so they told me they were happy for me to have it. I’m 51 now, but the memory of her wearing it when I was four or five is still with me. I’m not much of a jewellery wearer, but it always makes me smile when I wear it.

  381

• LI

  @lisacrews3060 · 4 years ago

  A question I would add is, &quot;Is there another way of honoring this person/memory that doesn&apos;t involve keeping this stuff?&quot; My maternal grandmother helped raise us and I have honored her several ways that don&apos;t involve keeping all the manufactured memory triggering goods that will need storing:<br><br>1. A ritual-She taught me to sew and her favorite treat as a child during The Great Depression was orange slice candies. &nbsp;Now, when I start a sewing project of any kind I buy orange slice &nbsp;candies and eat them with a silent prayer of thanksgiving to God for my grandmother. <br><br>2. Plants-I lived in AZ and she was born and raised in KY. &nbsp;She always said she missed the Dogwood trees when they moved to AZ. Yellow roses were her favorite and I often bought them to her for her birthday and Mother&apos;s Day. &nbsp;When we moved to NC 4 years ago, the first landscaping items I bought and planted were 5 Dogwood trees and 2 yellow rose bushes. <br><br>3. A wall mounted print of a favorite memory-For every family gathering she always made the same green jello party salad that our family loves. &nbsp;When she died my brother and I found the original recipe card from the 50s of that jello salad. He framed it and put it on his wall. &nbsp;When I moved to NC he had it engraved in a sea glass colored plaque so I could hang one on my wall in my dining room. &nbsp; We always have that jello salad at holiday gatherings.

  727

• PO

  @Poodlemom23 · 3 years ago

  Neither of my daughter’s wanted my wedding dress. They aren’t sentimental like that. So I lost two babies late in pregnancy and they were buried without any nice clothes. Probably just a blanket. So, I donated my dress to an organization that makes burial gowns for babies. It was rewarding to know that it went to a cause close to my heart.

  57

• HE

  @heatherlw13 · 4 years ago

  It took my Mom dying, and me, as the only child, having to sort through her whole house of stuff to realize that collections are way overrated! She had decorative candles, cookie jars, collector plates, glassware, special trays and serving pieces, tupperware, over 20 Christmas bins (no joke), a room full of craft supplies, and lots more to sort and sift though. It made me realize that having an attachment to stuff leaves people overwhelmed when you leave it behind. I now have a garage sale every few years and donate stuff to the Goodwill every year just to minimize the stuff I have. My kids are young and I am trying to teach them to be able to let stuff go.

  393

• AM

  @amanda4901 · 4 years ago (edited)

  Interesting story time for whoever reads this. I read the Swedish art of gentle death cleaning a year ago and at the time I didn’t know how to apply it to my life but I though of my mom who was a hoarder at the time, all the stuff of hers I would have to handle and what I would find sentimental. The thought of it overwhelmed me but I knew I would have time. Fast forward to a month ago, my mom sadly died and I was left with a massive hoarded apartment and extreme grief and PTSD from it (still have it). I couldn’t even walk in her apartment where she died but I needed to get it cleaned out. I was hurting and sad and legit told my husband to bring the entire hoard to our minimal home so I could have a piece of my mother, mind you much of it was in a poor state and not something of any importance, thankfully he told me “no” and went with my SIL, a few of his friends and himself and cleared the apartment and brought back anything that may have been of importance to our house to store in our garage. 2 weeks after her death I stared at those boxes and felt overwhelm and sadness and couldn’t get rid of anything as it all seemed too much (I was also seeing and still am seeing a counselor weekly to talk of my feelings). &nbsp;On that second week I had an appointment with the funeral home to get her death certificate and a few extra things they had from her cremation. I was handed a bag with two rings in it. The rings were the ones my mother and I had picked out when my grandfather died 15 years ago and we got them to remember our resilience during that time. After a few years I stopped wearing mine and my mom took ownership of it and wore them both every day for a decade. Immediately when I got the bag I cried and knew this is all I wanted of my mother (and her saved voicemails for her voice, a few cards with her writing, pictures and the memories) I came home and a few days later loaded everything up and sent it to donation. I knew as soon as I did that it was the right choice. That I had the most important item I valued of hers and that was enough. I tell this story to explain that through great loss it really isn’t the items that make the memories, it’s the memories themselves and the people that get our belongings may need a lot less than we think. Even if I lost the rings (which I doubt it) I know I would be ok because I still have the memories, and those are enough until i see her again 🕊.

  189

• JE

  @jessimaness7927 · 4 years ago

  I had a doll collection that was fairly extensive, and in working with a client I ran across an &quot;affordable housing&quot; apartment complex and I&apos;d heard the children there were really struggling - it was mid-Covid, etc. &nbsp;So I asked the manager what kind of things could be done. &nbsp;She said they were trying to do onsite events and asking any neighbors in the community if they had any toys or things they could part with or share with these less fortunate kids. I went home, dug out a dozen or so of these collectible dolls and donated them to that complex. I got a phone call just a few days later saying some of the little girls were in tears when they were able to pick out their own doll for free. &nbsp;It&apos;s a great memory for me, even over the memories I had thought were connected to the dolls. &nbsp;I highly recommend seeking out places like this where the kids would likely have a high appreciation for the dolls. (My dolls too, were still in the boxes, but just sitting in a closet.)

  379

• RH

  @rhondacoulter6319 · 4 years ago

  When we were &nbsp;downsizing two years ago, I created a Facebook page for my five kids called “Anyone want this?” I posted pictures, sometimes with an explanation of the item. I said I’d draw names if more than one person wanted something, but never had to do that. It was surprising to find out what they did want and, also, what they didn’t. Family heirlooms no one wanted went to extended family. There was always someone who was thrilled to receive an heirloom.

  289

• MY

  @myrnarenoud3056 · 4 years ago

  As a very sentimental person, this was one of the hardest concepts I ever dealt with! &nbsp;My children are grown now and I’m a grandmother…..and it shocked me when I began to realize my kids weren’t all that interested in inheriting things that I had always treasured! &nbsp;I even felt depressed about it! &nbsp;Then we started having to deal with our parents treasures and suddenly I began to see a truth that I’d never seen before! &nbsp;It’s all just “stuff”! &nbsp;So I began to think differently and I can tell you it’s very freeing to not put so much value on material things! &nbsp;My hubby and I have decluttered our whole house and will continue to do it….little by little….so satisfying to me to see the truth that had eluded me for years!

  335

• CA

  @CatMom4Yahuah · 4 years ago

  My mother passed away last year and left me with a house full of her old memories. I travelled to her house, picked out a few items I wanted to keep. I asked myself over and over is this something ‘I’ love and want or are these just mother’s loves and wants? I planned on selling the rest at an estate sale and selling the house (huge amount of guilt there) the person who purchased the house wants to restore and actually wanted all of her items left there so they could go through them. Let me tell you the relief that made. There were things that were so beautiful that my grand father made that I just didn’t want but didn’t want to just get rid of and the new owners love them. Historical buffs renovating a home with things everyone loves. My heart is over joyed and relieved and mother would be pleased I am sure. Tell me that’s not a God thing :)

  43

• BA

  @baileysmith7182 · 4 years ago (edited)

  You can always donate the instrument’s to a school with a struggling arts program— elementary middle or hugh, they’d all appreciate it!

  70