How to Fix an Anxious-Avoidant Relationship - A Man's Guide

Comments · 1.4K

• VA

  @valentine-p2r · 2 years ago

  If your partner pulls away from you with no warning or no explanation, anyone regardless of attatchment style will have a certain amount of anxiety about that. Period!

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• CH

  @chrisedwards6226 · 1 year ago

  “Detach because things are going too well” This is the shit I can’t deal with

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• AL

  @alyssaennis5304 · 2 years ago

  Many secure partners end up turning into anxious after interacting with avoidant . It builds insecurity over time

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• IS

  @isayafiola8853 · 2 years ago (edited)

  Anxious and avoidant styles are like the rabbit and turtle story. Anxious people are furiously looking for solutions on the internet like obssessed maniacs while avoidants are in their turtle shells letting their relationships collapse around them too afraid to expose themselves 😭<br><br>Edit: Happy news, I have finally had a break through with my avoidant partner 🥺! <br>(Fill their cup with love &amp; succeed at making them feel safe, they will come out of their shell. Also make them watch this video!)

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• CR

  @CryptoTaurusMoon · 2 years ago

  An avoidant can make the most secure person feel anxious with the pulling away, flaw finding, secrecy, and withholding of intimacy. In a normal relationship, these types of behaviors are borderline abusive. The way an avoidant is in the beginning, compared to the way they are in the end, is schizophrenic. There&apos;s a reason there are so many negative comments about avoidants.

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• MI

  @MiaRichardson-m4v · 1 year ago

  The avoidant caused me so much pain I cried for weeks. At work crying after work crying during conversations &nbsp;with the avoidant crying dealing with the avoidant. I have to avoid falling in love with those type of people.

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• MA

  @marioct130 · 2 years ago

  Both people have to want to work on the relationship.

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• IN

  @interactiveartdesign · 1 year ago (edited)

  From my experience on the anxious side, 3 Steps: Don’t chase, walk away, replace with secure attachment.

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• CR

  @Cre8Fire34 · 2 years ago

  While it may not be a &quot;moral thing&quot; - some of the gaslighting, cruelty, dishonesty, flaw- finding, stonewalling - is immoral, and often cruel.

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• DC

  @Dcat797 · 2 years ago

  When the Anxious person never gets what they are looking for they become an Anxious avoidant. This dynamic is so painful and can go on for decades.

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• CH

  @chris51385 · 2 years ago

  I can say this though: &nbsp;if you know your self to be the type of person who is objectively a catch, you know your worth and you can say with certainty you penetrated their armor and truly saw them, they cannot forget you if they tried. &nbsp;If you showed them true and healthy love, that registers for them and they will not forget. &nbsp;But the realness of it scared them levels deeper so it’s going to take longer. &nbsp;That’s been my experience.

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• BU

  @Burnerbaby · 2 years ago

  I’m going to use this as an aid to begin the repair process in my marriage. My wife is an anxious attachment type and I am very much avoidant but more self aware and willing to communicate than many it would seem. I probably owe that to more than half a decade of therapy. I know my avoidance and inability to emotionally regulate stems from childhood neglect and as much as I love space, solitude, and freedom, I love my wife more. I see a lot of avoidants who have really hurt their partners in the comments and while I’ve hurt my wife in many ways, I have not gone as far as a lot of folks and would like to avoid that. Thank you for this. It will be a useful tool.

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