The voice memo that divided the internet: Is this a boundary or coercion?

Comments · 2K

• RE

  @reesehershey4444 · 2 months ago (edited) · pinned

  That voice memo is beyond triggering and reminds me of a past relationship where my ex pulled the same thing (in person) on the second date, after me explaining on the first date where I stand. What seemed well intentioned and like a boundary at the time led to the worst year of gradual dv and manipulation. If someone ever uses their “boundaries” as a way to assert their needs over yours, run.

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• JH

  @jhd72-c6b · 2 months ago

  Honestly he did her a huge favor by letting her walk away after 1 date completely confident she's not missing out on anything.

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• AL

  @alisaerlikh · 2 months ago

  “I wouldn’t even treat a cashier that I see once on vacation the way some of you guys treat people that you get naked with.” is raw

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• CR

  @Crazycatlady8884 · 2 months ago (edited)

  I don’t think a voice memo has ever been less seductive

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• DI

  @dingdongpoopoo7605 · 2 months ago

  He really exposed his character, and because of that, I’d actually appreciate the voice note. It would help me walk away and not waste my time.

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• AL

  @alittleposy · 2 months ago

  The nicest thing I could say about this voice mail is that he was totally upfront about the fact that he will always put his own needs a head of hers and then gaslight her about how he’s doing it for the sake of honesty and enforcing his own boundaries.  He could not be waving the red flag more blatantly which allows her to not waste another second on him

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• PS

  @psi-lifeup · 2 months ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f_XMoxMgsY&amp;t=459">7:39</a> him jumbling “hook up” and “cuddle” together here really perplexes me - as if those two things are anywhere near the same level when you know he would NOT be satisfied with cuddling and not hooking up.

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• QU

  @quinnm.3127 · 2 months ago

  he&apos;s also somehow acting like any compatibility they have is COMPLETELY up to him alone

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• AM

  @amandaj01 · 2 months ago

  I would absolutely block him after that. Even if I expected to get intimate on the second or third date, his entitlement, lack of communicating his true goals initially, and language would turn me off. Disgusting behavior, I hope his behavior was not rewarded.

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• -L

  @-loveless- · 2 months ago

  Wants to schedule in a &quot;romantic spark&quot;

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• KI

  @kidpoker1021 · 2 months ago

  Super creepy/weird message to send to someone after the first date, but upfront, and shows how pushy he is already and would be in the future.

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• IL

  @ilinas6512 · 2 months ago (edited)

  What really stood out to me was the heavy emphasis on &quot;I want to see whether IM sexually compatible with you&quot;, &quot;For MY sake&quot;, as opposed to I want to see whether we are compatible, this is something I like, how does that work for you, how do you feel about that...

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