Why Speaking Up Feels So Hard for Women

Comments · 438

• SM

  @Smootiful · 1 month ago

  Silence is all the autoimmune disorders that women disproportionately get/suffer. 💔

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• TO

  @ToT_E_ToT · 1 month ago

  As an Arab Syrian girl, this ,this literally is what i feel when i talk about any religious act that violates women’s rights, the conversation always goes one way, me saying something is not okay, then someone argues back, and here i just feel that urge of not explaining or saying anything becomes overwhelming, thoughts of that what i am saying is useless, would make me look like a girl who is not good or appealing, or a woman who argues a lot, while all i do is just defending my well being, which makes me sick sometimes, because, it’s really sick that i am discussing my own human rights, makes me more frustrated and silent, i need to learn how to fight this despair, i feel that your video must be so global, i love your ideas so much ^^

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• BE

  @BeigeArmy · 1 month ago

  I'm not a passive woman - loud and proudly Caribbean. And yet, all of these descriptions hit. They are my truth as a woman.

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• JA

  @jagritikumari4012 · 1 month ago (edited)

  First person to see the video and oh my gosh, this topic hits home. I, as a girl, many times felt unheard, that&apos;s why I almost stopped speaking. The biggest consequence of not speaking up and being heard is that you&apos;ll eventually loose the hope that someone will hear &amp; listen to you, especially someone physically stronger. I always feel undermined by my brother and father due to this, and when all these emotions like anger, sadness and exhaustion finally breaks you down to devastation, you&apos;re the one who&apos;s being <b>&quot;loudy&quot;</b> or <b>&quot;whiney.&quot;</b> &nbsp;Thank you for covering this topic mam, I&apos;m sorry if I have any mistakes in my comment, English is not my first language, however, I&apos;d like to communicate my gratitude towards you.

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• FI

  @FishareFriendsNotFood972 · 1 month ago

  To all the women on the journey to finding your voice, I applaud you!!

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• AL

  @alanaspurling6469 · 1 month ago

  Don’t underestimate that these lessons on self-silence is continually reinforced.

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• MA

  @marykayryan7891 · 1 month ago (edited)

  I think it is really important to tell the truth about this. &nbsp;If a woman stands up for herself (or others for that matter), PEOPLE WILL NOT LIKE IT. &nbsp;They will not like you. &nbsp;So, be prepared to be disliked, shunned and isolated. &nbsp;And it won&apos;t be just men who respond this way. &nbsp;In fact, it is more likely to be women because they will be more threatened by your forthrightness than men. &nbsp;You are shaking up the system. &nbsp;&quot;Just keep your head down. &nbsp;Why do you have to make everyything be so obvious? &nbsp;Figure out ways around all this. &nbsp;Let him think he is in charge.&quot; &nbsp;Myy own daughter said to me (somewhat tongue in cheek), &quot;Mom, you could learn to lie. &nbsp;It would make you a lot more of a socialized a person.&quot; I have even had women say that &quot;you are too masculine.&quot;. &nbsp;This is NOT an easy row to hoe.

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• AN

  @angelinabrown3142 · 1 month ago

  I grew up in a traditional household: SAHM, &quot;breadwinner&quot; stepfather, 2 sisters and me. &nbsp;I remember even my mother enforcing that &quot;be pleasant&quot; rule--I wasn&apos;t allowed to express any emotion other than happiness/gratitude. &nbsp;I have all this unexpressed anger from my childhood. &nbsp;And, yes, I do lose my voice when it comes to speaking my mind for myself.<br><br>I chose not to marry, not to have children, and I have never subscribed to the bio-essentialism notion that all women are naturally nurturing and pleasing BUT I still can&apos;t break out of the shell that I--with a lot of help--built around myself.<br><br>Wow, this video is hitting me hard.<br><br>Oddly, I woke up this morning thinking about how hunter-gatherer humans were way more egalitarian than modern societies and how ONE person&apos;s opinion influenced our views of prehistoric humans and blinded us to the evidence that contradicted that opinion.

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• DE

  @devidaughter7782 · 1 month ago (edited)

  &quot;our voice was never the danger; the danger was what it cost to keep abandoning it&quot; -Amy McPhie Allebest (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIqroxIIR6E&amp;t=1823">30:23</a>)

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• GR

  @gretionwaters · 1 month ago

  I have learned to speak up all the time when it&apos;s called for. It very rarely leads to productive outcomes. &nbsp;Most often I&apos;m am ignored and the harm or dysfunction I was speaking about just goes on with a shrug. It&apos;s demoralizing. In worst cases I do suffer the consequences of loss for having made myself the problem by talking about the problem. I feel like my efforts are being swept away by the relentless wind of time..hopefully carrying the energy into a future when people can speak up, address issues or problems, listen and make changes. The one thing that allows me to keep speaking up when it&apos;s needed is that I have independence, Financial Independence and autonomy. When women don&apos;t have those things , we really cannot risk speaking up in jeopardizing our ability to remain alive.

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• KA

  @kananramkrishna4828 · 1 month ago (edited)

  This is universal and thank you for addressing it.

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• TI

  @tinyshepherdess7710 · 1 month ago

  &apos;ll never forget when I was in my 20s and was talking to a random stranger a few years older than I was at the time. &nbsp;I can&apos;t remember how we got into this discussion but he basically said women were incapable of doing anything great, that men were far superior, and that any great woman from the past was like a needle in a haystack. &nbsp;I was stunned and struck dumb. &nbsp;I had no reply. &nbsp;It&apos;s been decades and I&apos;m still haunted by that horrible and untrue statement he made. &nbsp;There is so much I could have said - but didn&apos;t. &nbsp;It probably wouldn&apos;t have changed his mind but it would have made me feel better!

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