Nessa Barrett on Fame, Music, and Finding Herself in Public

Today's guest built an audience of millions before she was old enough to sign a record deal, turned a 30-minute crying freestyle into her debut single, and made one of Gen Z's defining breakup anthems out of a phrase that became its own internet language. But her real story isn't the viral fame or the streams. It's the part that plays like a runaway and teaches like a masterclass: how she left home at 17 to chase music, what it costs to become a person in public, and everything about the business nobody explains until you've already survived it. The press version skips the 4AM flight with six school bags and the cops looking for her, the year of couch-surfing through LA Airbnbs, the lowest point singing songs her soul wasn't satisfied with, and more... And The Writer Is... Nessa Barrett! In this episode of And The Writer Is, we go deep on: • Why she ran away from home at 17 — a 4AM ticket, six school bags, cops on her trail — to make music • The truth about "i hope ur miserable until ur dead": she didn't write it, it's not her favorite, and why she sang it anyway • "pain" — the 30-minute freestyle she cried through in the booth that became her first single • Why she can't record with Auto-Tune — and what she learned the first time someone handed her a finished song to cut • Signing to Warner Records on Zoom during Covid — and the messy contract she had to escape first • "All of my confidence comes from my fans" — the performer who still gets embarrassed easily • The childhood trauma and the generational cycle she says she's trying to break • Why she closes her eyes every time she records, and writes a song like she's building a movie • The lowest point of her career — and how prayer, faith, and going back to her core brought her out of it • "I've never loved my music as much as this — and I didn't know it could feel this way" And much more... 🔓 Want in the room? We just launched our Patreon — monthly Zoom hangs where we listen to your demos and give feedback, hang with you directly, occasional guest drop-ins, and the full archive of 200+ audio episodes (Sabrina Carpenter, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Shania Twain, Babyface, and more). Patreon: andthewriteris Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Hit subscribe and turn on notifications. Every week, we go deep with the most interesting creatives in music. Follow us on socials: @andthewriteris A special thank you to our lead sponsor, NMPA — the National Music Publishers Association. Your support means the world to us. Chapters 0:00 Intro — her whole journey has been public 1:37 The cafeteria TikTok that blew up 2:48 A childhood with no stability 3:45 "A lot of trauma — that's what drove me here" 4:20 Why she chose to be open about her struggles 6:50 Music as her safe place + her dad's makeshift studio 9:22 Her first recording, at four years old 10:56 Walking into a real LA studio, terrified 12:21 Songwriting as a diary 14:17 The tell-all she might publish under an alias 17:30 Join the conversation on Patreon 18:21 Stage fright, bullying, and the voice crack 20:34 "All my confidence comes from my fans" 23:44 From cafeteria TikToks toward LA 28:59 Running away at 4AM — the plane ticket story 32:54 Landing at the Sway House at 17 34:54 First sessions, jxdn, and singing other people's songs 36:34 Why she can't record with Auto-Tune 38:07 NMPA: why publishers fight for songwriters 38:49 Learning to ask for what she wanted in the booth 42:24 "pain" — the 30-minute freestyle that became her first song 45:02 Signing to Warner Records on Zoom 50:19 The public breakup, and hearing old songs differently 51:32 "i hope ur miserable until ur dead" — singer vs. listener 54:07 The truth about who wrote her biggest song 55:50 Breaking away from the influencer label 59:06 Building a sonic world — writing like a movie 63:45 Why she closes her eyes every time she records 64:10 Five movies that shape her sound 65:12 Acting, directing, and what still scares her 68:16 The new era: falling back in love with music 70:18 Rapid fire 71:27 The lowest point — and how she came back 74:49 What younger Nessa would admire most 77:19 A message to her parents 78:55 "I've never loved my music as much as this" 79:31 TAPENOTES: Ross & Joe break down the episode Credits: Hosted by Ross Golan Produced by Joe London & Jad Saad Edited by Jad Saad